You can't handle truth.
Truth of Our Lord and Savior.
Praise be to Jesus!

What would your wife think?
This giving the dog a bone
Sleep in the doghouse!

What would your wife think?
This

I was REAL horny
My wife was visiting friends
So I fucked our dog

No no stop it Darth
Oh you are pure wickedness
Lord, slay him in wrath !

The apostles watched
As God sucked off the Devil
Crying the whole time

T - T - G - F - P
Five letters, five syllables.
What do they stand for?

Glory to the Lord!
The devil hates His shed blood
And atoning death.

Jesus would never
partake in the devil's weed.
Praise be to Jesus!

What if you re so high
Can t even hold your head up
What would Jesus do?

What if you

These are not poems.
These are the Words of The Lord!
Praise be to Jesus!

You know what it is,
The miracle of Jesus?
Praise be to Jesus!

Walking on water.
Fish, wine and bread, that's all fine.
Praise be to Jesus!

But those are not it!
He looked to strangers as friends.
Praise be to Jesus!

Only God does that.
And men fill with His spirit.
Praise be to Jesus!

When you have Jesus
you can walk with your head high.
Praise be to Jesus!

The Big Kahuna.
I do love a good burger.
Praise be to Jesus!

Benny Mardones
Carpet Cleaning Services
I wouldn't trust him

Don't be do sure,bud
Might be conjoined headless twins
With a double cunt

When she's on the pill
And one cums in her pussy
She won't get pregnant

Gynecology
Looking at strangers pussies
Good for self esteem

I'm so tired of this
I'm writing the same poem
That I wrote last time

Funny things happen
When you don't pay attention
Bird shit on my head!

You got some nice legs
And you know I'm a leg man
Here, meet my third leg

We all want to see
Jesus in a wife beater
Stella Stella!! Right?

His one fantasy
She would walk across his back
In stiletto heels

everything comes out
But maybe out the wrong end
And stains your good pants

Cream whipped to a froth
Dispensed from the limp penis
Of Mister Fritzl

The Big Kahuna
You keep zipped up in your pants
Well, it ain't so big

Jesus still loves you.
No matter how you test Him.
Praise be to Jesus!

Whipped cream or semen
Which is a better topping
For my strawberries?

Loaves and fishes trick
Next, walking on water trick
Levitate table

Let's grab a fig leaf
Cover your sexual junque
And stop rubbing it

Do not waste your time
with that which is not of God.
Praise be to Jesus!

Art class nude model
"What a swell looking penis."
Still life kielbasa

Try New Oxy-Syllable
Removes filth from poetry
Tide Pods on steroids

Smelly arthritis
Just had another birthday
How would I do that?

Today's your birthday
How I would jump on your desk
David Letterman

Kitten cat kitten
Cat cat kitten cat kitten
Kitten cat kitten

Yo, Spermin' Melville
Just met you, this is crazy
So call me Ishmael

Sometimes I wonder
If I were a prostitute
How much would I charge?

I'm in my forties
I've yet to fuck a shemale
But I still have time

Farts are not profane
You must have flunked science class
Farts contain methane

Japanese House Tour
Traditional floor mats spooged
I removed my shoes

Ever wonder why
My haiku's are so profane?
If not,suck my dick

My contribution
Are farts tax deductible?
We'll be millionaires

Is that the foghorn?
Rise and shine. I'm on the case
Well now, who farted?

When I bend over
Look closely at my black hole
Now take a picture

His sandals were dope
Flowing hair impressed the babes
Fonz of Nazareth

Seven eleven
Or was it the six six six
He liked to shoplift

He rode on an ass
To the store to fetch bread
He waved to the whores

He went to the store
For a loaf of bread he said
And a piece of ass