BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
22 Years
248 Days
and
65352 Haikus
later...
Whipped cream or semen
Which is a better topping
For my strawberries?
Haiku #63707, by Follower of Satan
April 12, 2019 7:59 pm ET

Loaves and fishes trick
Next, walking on water trick
Levitate table
Haiku #63706, by Dinner and a show of Wazzup Last Supper
April 12, 2019 7:13 pm ET

Let's grab a fig leaf
Cover your sexual junque
And stop rubbing it
Haiku #63705, by Grad of Egads!
April 12, 2019 7:10 pm ET

Do not waste your time
with that which is not of God.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku #63704, by TTGFP
April 12, 2019 7:01 pm ET

Art class nude model
"What a swell looking penis."
Still life kielbasa
Haiku #63703, by Hide the Salami
April 12, 2019 3:09 pm ET

Try New Oxy-Syllable
Removes filth from poetry
Tide Pods on steroids
Haiku #63702, by Jesus H Christmas
April 12, 2019 3:06 pm ET

Smelly arthritis
Just had another birthday
How would I do that?
Haiku #63701, by Like an old cat
April 12, 2019 12:37 pm ET

Today's your birthday
How I would jump on your desk
David Letterman
Haiku #63700, by Sag Tits
April 12, 2019 12:35 pm ET

Kitten cat kitten
Cat cat kitten cat kitten
Kitten cat kitten
Haiku #63699, by Kitten of Star
April 12, 2019 12:33 pm ET

Yo, Spermin' Melville
Just met you, this is crazy
So call me Ishmael
Haiku #63698, by Maybe Dick of Hump like a snow hill
April 12, 2019 12:31 pm ET

Sometimes I wonder
If I were a prostitute
How much would I charge?
Haiku #63697, by Cause of Your depression
April 12, 2019 10:28 am ET

I'm in my forties
I've yet to fuck a shemale
But I still have time
Haiku #63696, by Subject of Your nightmare
April 12, 2019 9:20 am ET

Farts are not profane
You must have flunked science class
Farts contain methane
Haiku #63695, by Mike Roeb of At Work
April 12, 2019 9:01 am ET

Japanese House Tour
Traditional floor mats spooged
I removed my shoes
Haiku #63694, by Barefoot Bandit of Running the other way
April 12, 2019 8:58 am ET

Ever wonder why
My haiku's are so profane?
If not,suck my dick
Haiku #63693, by Sick of Your shit
April 12, 2019 8:55 am ET

My contribution
Are farts tax deductible?
We'll be millionaires
Haiku #63692, by Splat Methaney
April 12, 2019 8:53 am ET

Is that the foghorn?
Rise and shine. I'm on the case
Well now, who farted?
Haiku #63691, by Noticer of Details
April 12, 2019 8:37 am ET

When I bend over
Look closely at my black hole
Now take a picture
Haiku #63690, by Science is amazing
April 12, 2019 4:08 am ET

His sandals were dope
Flowing hair impressed the babes
Fonz of Nazareth
Haiku #63689, by Anonymous Poet
April 12, 2019 2:42 am ET

Seven eleven
Or was it the six six six
He liked to shoplift
Haiku #63688, by Anonymous Poet
April 12, 2019 2:41 am ET

He rode on an ass
To the store to fetch bread
He waved to the whores
Haiku #63687, by Anonymous Poet
April 12, 2019 2:40 am ET

He went to the store
For a loaf of bread he said
And a piece of ass
Haiku #63686, by Anonymous Poet
April 12, 2019 2:38 am ET

Let us not forget
Moses was a warlord too.
Praise be to Jesus.

For "enlightenment"
Buddha left his family.
Praise be to Jesus.

It can be said that
Jesus is the Lord of Peace.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku #63685, by TTGFP. The Lord Jesus was ahead of his time.
April 12, 2019 2:32 am ET

Mohammed Shamu
Give that as your alias
The best way to go
Haiku #63684, by Anonymous Poet
April 12, 2019 2:31 am ET

Never had a doubt
Picked you out of the lineup
Saw your half inch knob
Haiku #63683, by Tattletale
April 12, 2019 2:29 am ET

Vaseline in bulk
Massaging a dead tree trunk
Whilst defecating
Haiku #63682, by Gruuuuuunt
April 12, 2019 2:27 am ET

Vagitarian
Creamed corn beef and muff cabbage
Face down in your plate
Haiku #63681, by Butter Bean of Smelly Peen
April 12, 2019 2:24 am ET

Moohamad=dead pork
Warlord tyrant false prophet
"The Obvious One"
^ also a pedophile
don't get used to me agreeing with you
Haiku #63680, by Anonymous Poet
April 12, 2019 2:14 am ET

Please buy this for me
It's on Amazon dot com
Cat Butts in Space book
Haiku #63679, by It's a coloring book of Starkitten wants this please
April 12, 2019 1:59 am ET

Moohamad=dead pork
Warlord tyrant false prophet
"The Obvious One"
Haiku #63678, by La Illaha Ill A FARRRTTTT !
April 12, 2019 1:33 am ET

Now it's dark again
When I jump from the bushes
You will be startled
Haiku #63677, by Creep of Bushes
April 12, 2019 12:52 am ET

over in Japan
Hurry up soba noodles
Hangry robot dance
Haiku #63676, by Part Insect of Radioactive
April 11, 2019 11:54 pm ET

Thought you said
Blow job you know giving head
I'll get my ears checked
Haiku #63675, by Miracle ear of Up 2 streets Take a left
April 11, 2019 11:47 pm ET

You apologize
For a misunderstanding
You end up ahead
Haiku #63674, by Sorry of My Bad
April 11, 2019 11:46 pm ET

Not the kind of guy
Who would spend money on you
For a fancy meal
Haiku #63673, by Spam it is
April 11, 2019 11:27 pm ET

While you weren't looking
Repossessed your possessions
Then I pooped on them
Haiku #63672, by Stan
April 11, 2019 11:25 pm ET

Possessed by myself
Verifying process then
Possessing myself
Haiku #63671, by MONARCH of Deja Vu
April 11, 2019 11:10 pm ET

Most of my haiku
Gems remotely harvested
Hidden sphincter mine
Haiku #63670, by Digger Barnes
April 11, 2019 10:52 pm ET

Japanese Robot
Forehead bagel conniption
Train station blow job
Haiku #63669, by Waiting
April 11, 2019 10:49 pm ET

Not very clean now
After my bathroom blowout
Hey, how you down'?
Haiku #63668, by Friend
April 11, 2019 10:43 pm ET

Waddle waddle squat
Fart fart squelch fart fart kersplat
Microbes at work here
Haiku #63667, by Mike Roeb of Work
April 11, 2019 10:41 pm ET

Under the big wave
Washing my huge smelly ass
Polluting the sea
Haiku #63666, by Clean for a minute
April 11, 2019 10:39 pm ET

Tofu excrement
Fresh churned through hippie buttocks
Won't harsh your mellow
Haiku #63665, by Greasy Dean
April 11, 2019 10:34 pm ET

I'm at a gay bar
Doing the boot scoot boogie
Got a day-glo dong
Haiku #63664, by Colorful Individual
April 11, 2019 10:32 pm ET

I know God is real.
Butterflies are beautiful.
Praise be to Jesus.
Haiku #63663, by TTGFP
April 11, 2019 10:17 pm ET

And God so loved Man
that He gave His only Son.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku #63662, by TTGFP
April 11, 2019 10:15 pm ET

Jew CAN eat Pringles.
But no one SHOULD eat Pringles.
Praise be to Jesus!

They are synthetic.
Pringles are not of the earth.
Praise be to Jesus!

Do not be lazy.
Learn to make potato chips.
Praise be to Jesus.
Haiku #63661, by TTGFP of And Cheetos are just outright Satanic!
April 11, 2019 10:05 pm ET

You're grounded for life
Hurts me more than it hurts you
Praise be to Allah!
Haiku #63660, by Noticer of Details
April 11, 2019 8:50 pm ET

Jesus the Hotshot
Like a bat straight out of Hell
On the Hoverboard
Haiku #63659, by Noticer of Details of Looking on
April 11, 2019 8:47 pm ET

Italian stallion
Stalking your tuna meatball
Fat sausage in hand
Haiku #63658, by Rural Guido of Garden of overripe vaginas
April 11, 2019 8:41 pm ET