BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
23 Years
25 Days
and
66534 Haikus
later...
Never had a doubt
Picked you out of the lineup
Saw your half inch knob
Haiku #63683, by Tattletale
April 12, 2019 2:29 am ET

Vaseline in bulk
Massaging a dead tree trunk
Whilst defecating
Haiku #63682, by Gruuuuuunt
April 12, 2019 2:27 am ET

Vagitarian
Creamed corn beef and muff cabbage
Face down in your plate
Haiku #63681, by Butter Bean of Smelly Peen
April 12, 2019 2:24 am ET

Moohamad=dead pork
Warlord tyrant false prophet
"The Obvious One"
^ also a pedophile
don't get used to me agreeing with you
Haiku #63680, by Anonymous Poet
April 12, 2019 2:14 am ET

Please buy this for me
It's on Amazon dot com
Cat Butts in Space book
Haiku #63679, by It's a coloring book of Starkitten wants this please
April 12, 2019 1:59 am ET

Moohamad=dead pork
Warlord tyrant false prophet
"The Obvious One"
Haiku #63678, by La Illaha Ill A FARRRTTTT !
April 12, 2019 1:33 am ET

Now it's dark again
When I jump from the bushes
You will be startled
Haiku #63677, by Creep of Bushes
April 12, 2019 12:52 am ET

over in Japan
Hurry up soba noodles
Hangry robot dance
Haiku #63676, by Part Insect of Radioactive
April 11, 2019 11:54 pm ET

Thought you said
Blow job you know giving head
I'll get my ears checked
Haiku #63675, by Miracle ear of Up 2 streets Take a left
April 11, 2019 11:47 pm ET

You apologize
For a misunderstanding
You end up ahead
Haiku #63674, by Sorry of My Bad
April 11, 2019 11:46 pm ET

Not the kind of guy
Who would spend money on you
For a fancy meal
Haiku #63673, by Spam it is
April 11, 2019 11:27 pm ET

While you weren't looking
Repossessed your possessions
Then I pooped on them
Haiku #63672, by Stan
April 11, 2019 11:25 pm ET

Possessed by myself
Verifying process then
Possessing myself
Haiku #63671, by MONARCH of Deja Vu
April 11, 2019 11:10 pm ET

Most of my haiku
Gems remotely harvested
Hidden sphincter mine
Haiku #63670, by Digger Barnes
April 11, 2019 10:52 pm ET

Japanese Robot
Forehead bagel conniption
Train station blow job
Haiku #63669, by Waiting
April 11, 2019 10:49 pm ET

Not very clean now
After my bathroom blowout
Hey, how you down'?
Haiku #63668, by Friend
April 11, 2019 10:43 pm ET

Waddle waddle squat
Fart fart squelch fart fart kersplat
Microbes at work here
Haiku #63667, by Mike Roeb of Work
April 11, 2019 10:41 pm ET

Under the big wave
Washing my huge smelly ass
Polluting the sea
Haiku #63666, by Clean for a minute
April 11, 2019 10:39 pm ET

Tofu excrement
Fresh churned through hippie buttocks
Won't harsh your mellow
Haiku #63665, by Greasy Dean
April 11, 2019 10:34 pm ET

I'm at a gay bar
Doing the boot scoot boogie
Got a day-glo dong
Haiku #63664, by Colorful Individual
April 11, 2019 10:32 pm ET

I know God is real.
Butterflies are beautiful.
Praise be to Jesus.
Haiku #63663, by TTGFP
April 11, 2019 10:17 pm ET

And God so loved Man
that He gave His only Son.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku #63662, by TTGFP
April 11, 2019 10:15 pm ET

Jew CAN eat Pringles.
But no one SHOULD eat Pringles.
Praise be to Jesus!

They are synthetic.
Pringles are not of the earth.
Praise be to Jesus!

Do not be lazy.
Learn to make potato chips.
Praise be to Jesus.
Haiku #63661, by TTGFP of And Cheetos are just outright Satanic!
April 11, 2019 10:05 pm ET

You're grounded for life
Hurts me more than it hurts you
Praise be to Allah!
Haiku #63660, by Noticer of Details
April 11, 2019 8:50 pm ET

Jesus the Hotshot
Like a bat straight out of Hell
On the Hoverboard
Haiku #63659, by Noticer of Details of Looking on
April 11, 2019 8:47 pm ET

Italian stallion
Stalking your tuna meatball
Fat sausage in hand
Haiku #63658, by Rural Guido of Garden of overripe vaginas
April 11, 2019 8:41 pm ET

Can Jews eat Pringles?
Are they Communion wafers?
What would Jesus do?
Haiku #63657, by Rural Guido of Long English or short Mexican cucumber farm
April 11, 2019 8:39 pm ET

Don't believe Satan.
If you do, you'll burn in Hell!
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku #63656, by TTGFP
April 11, 2019 8:10 pm ET

We are all equal
in the eyes of our Maker.
Praise be to Jesus!

Regardless of your
favorite ice cream flavor.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku #63655, by TTGFP
April 11, 2019 7:41 pm ET

By loving Jesus
you can better love mankind.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku #63654, by TTGFP
April 11, 2019 7:37 pm ET

Do not worship cats.
Though they saved man from the plague.
Praise be to Jesus!

You should thank the Lord.
God told cats to eat the rats.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku #63653, by TTGFP
April 11, 2019 7:32 pm ET

cats cats kittens cats
Kittens kittens kittens cats
Cats cats kittens cats
Haiku #63652, by Starkitten of Whisker City
April 11, 2019 7:15 pm ET

What you're made of
Mostly water and dead skin
No wonder life's hard
Haiku #63651, by Who remastered scientist of Whoremaster Asteroid
April 11, 2019 7:10 pm ET

Oops, forgot to sign.
Forgetting is not a sin.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku #63650, by TTGFP
April 11, 2019 6:45 pm ET

Cleansed of my anger
and filth that poisoned my mind.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku #63649, by Anonymous Poet
April 11, 2019 6:43 pm ET

I'd never do that!
Lev. eighteen twenty-two.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku #63648, by Twinkle Toes Glitter Fairy Princess
April 11, 2019 6:40 pm ET

Giving up coffee.
With Jesus you can quit drugs.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku #63647, by Twinkle Toes Glitter Fairy Princess
April 11, 2019 6:36 pm ET

Oh, glorious day.
I greet it with open arms.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku #63646, by Twinkle Toes Glitter Fairy Princess
April 11, 2019 6:33 pm ET

Faggots,fairies,queens
Whatever one may call them
They sure suck good dick
Haiku #63645, by One Horseman of The apocolypse
April 11, 2019 4:48 pm ET

I could be in porn
If I don't mind getting AIDS
Mostly on weekends
Haiku #63644, by Scared of My own shadow
April 11, 2019 3:50 pm ET

Look into my eyes
Are you scared of The Devil
Look into my eyes
Haiku #63643, by Benny Mardones of Perverted Flying Carpet
April 11, 2019 3:08 pm ET

This site should not be
So very very boring.
What happened to it?
Haiku #63642, by Anonymous Poet
April 11, 2019 2:53 pm ET

Rustle up some grub
Smell what The Rock is cooking
Burned the Last Supper
Haiku #63641, by Churchgoer of Pizza Spaghetti Monster Cathedral
April 11, 2019 2:52 pm ET

Sarcasm will not
Save or impress anyone
I so pity you
Haiku #63640, by Ghost of Christmas
April 11, 2019 2:47 pm ET

At the very least
Order the guy a pizza
Praise be to Jesus
Haiku #63639, by Lord Have Mercy of Domino
April 11, 2019 2:40 pm ET

Ocean tides cycle.
But The Rock remains steady.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku #63638, by TTGF
April 11, 2019 1:45 pm ET

Raise your hands up high.
Feel the spirit of the Lord.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku #63637, by TTGF
April 11, 2019 1:42 pm ET

Jesus on the cross
contemplates their carpentry.
Praise be to Jesus.

The inferior
skills of the Roman soldiers.
Praise be to Jesus.

They nailed down his hands.
But his soul was free to soar.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku #63636, by TTGF
April 11, 2019 1:37 pm ET

Shitting in the dark
Then everyone yells, "SURPRISE!"
Living room commode
Haiku #63635, by Dartha Stewart of OCD
April 11, 2019 1:34 pm ET

Leave it in the bowl
Just might brighten someone's day
Share your brown output
Haiku #63634, by Post Partum of fartum
April 11, 2019 1:28 pm ET