BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
22 Years
250 Days
and
65370 Haikus
later...
Oral Roberts. Cream
Full facial oil of Olay
You look marvelous
Haiku #63759, by Aesthetician
April 14, 2019 6:03 am ET

I am missing the
connection to Usain Bolt.
Best I do not know.

Ignorance is bliss.
Not in the Bible, but still,
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku #63758, by TTGFP of Holding my collection of Oral Roberts prayer cloths.
April 14, 2019 5:09 am ET

Before I give blood
I always say "I have AIDS"
But nobody laughs
Haiku #63757, by On the verge of A nervous breakdown
April 14, 2019 1:44 am ET

Engraved on the cross
Property of Squeaky Fromme
Cross smells like tuna
Haiku #63756, by Vincent Bugliosi's pissed off of Apparition
April 13, 2019 11:46 pm ET

Hi kisses his cross.
And then looks up to Heaven.
Praise be to Jesus.
Haiku #63755, by Usain Bolt is awesome. of But shooting a blank starts the race. Ironic, no?
April 13, 2019 11:37 pm ET

Usain Bolt for sperm
Like a creamsickle with legs
You ain't shooting blanks
Haiku #63754, by Anonymous Poet of Long English or short Mexican
April 13, 2019 11:21 pm ET

perm(46,2)\
=46!/((46-2)!2!)
= 2070
Haiku #63753, by So now you know
April 13, 2019 11:15 pm ET

It's imperative
One understands that fucking
Sometimes makes babies
Haiku #63752, by Last of The Mohicans
April 13, 2019 11:13 pm ET

Physical exam
Listen Mr. Figpucker
Your penis is HUGE
Haiku #63751, by Doc
April 13, 2019 11:10 pm ET

Jesus knows THE Way.
As opposed to just "de way".
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku #63750, by TTGFP of Dragging my, ahem, knuckles through the dirt.
April 13, 2019 11:09 pm ET

And, no, you wise guys,
Jesus is not Ugandan.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku #63749, by TTGFP
April 13, 2019 11:06 pm ET

Ozzy knows nothing.
Only Jesus knows the way.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku #63748, by TTGFP of TL Osborn's Museum of Evangelical Oddities
April 13, 2019 11:03 pm ET

Lets go all the way
Enough fingering the clam
Shove it right in there
Haiku #63747, by Voice of Encouragement
April 13, 2019 10:59 pm ET

Has he lost his mind?
Can he see or is he blind ?
(Better ask Ozzy)
Haiku #63746, by Black Haiku Sabbath of Fuzz Guitar
April 13, 2019 10:55 pm ET

Haiku Janitor
So hard to clean up in here
Which poems are good?
Haiku #63745, by Haiku Janitor of End of my rope
April 13, 2019 10:31 pm ET

Move over Fleshlight
Now, shaped like a carved pumpkin
The Jackoff Lantern
Haiku #63744, by Headless Hung like a horse man of Nose
April 13, 2019 9:17 pm ET

I get the feeling
Jim Morrison always said
SUCK ON MY DIIIIIIIII...CCCCCCK!!
Haiku #63743, by Noticer of Details of Crystal Ship
April 13, 2019 8:24 pm ET

Jesus, take the wheel
Drank too much of the water
You turned into wine
Haiku #63742, by Drunk of Passed out
April 13, 2019 5:08 pm ET

A set of footprints
As I shuffle through the sand
Jesus got big feet!
Haiku #63741, by You know what that means
April 13, 2019 4:50 pm ET

Are you there, God?
It's just me, Darth Figpucker
I have changed my ways
Haiku #63740, by Wayward Son of Carrying on
April 13, 2019 4:48 pm ET

this is what df's obituary
will say:
Haiku #63739, by Anonymous Poet
April 13, 2019 3:58 pm ET

Ok I get it:
Twink Toe Glit Fairy Princess
TTGFP
Haiku #63738, by I thoght it was " Talk To God Fig Pucker"
April 13, 2019 3:38 pm ET

Short is our time here.
Eternal is The Kingdom.
Praise be to Jesus.
Haiku #63737, by TTGFP of My time here is two weeks.
April 13, 2019 3:19 pm ET

You can't handle truth.
Truth of Our Lord and Savior.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku #63736, by Twinkle Toes Glitter Fairy Princess of Where have you been?
April 13, 2019 3:05 pm ET

What would your wife think?
This giving the dog a bone
Sleep in the doghouse!
Haiku #63735, by My word!
April 13, 2019 2:33 pm ET

What would your wife think?
This
Haiku #63734, by My word!
April 13, 2019 2:33 pm ET

I was REAL horny
My wife was visiting friends
So I fucked our dog
Haiku #63733, by Carnival of Carnage
April 13, 2019 12:31 pm ET

No no stop it Darth
Oh you are pure wickedness
Lord, slay him in wrath !
Haiku #63732, by Actually you're merely infantile
April 13, 2019 11:27 am ET

The apostles watched
As God sucked off the Devil
Crying the whole time
Haiku #63731, by One of Your wife's fucktoys
April 13, 2019 9:35 am ET

T - T - G - F - P
Five letters, five syllables.
What do they stand for?
Haiku #63730, by Anonymous Poet
April 13, 2019 9:06 am ET

Glory to the Lord!
The devil hates His shed blood
And atoning death.
Haiku #63729, by Figpucker's Grandmother of Course
April 13, 2019 8:57 am ET

Jesus would never
partake in the devil's weed.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku #63728, by TTGFP
April 13, 2019 8:42 am ET

What if you re so high
Can t even hold your head up
What would Jesus do?
Haiku #63727, by One toke over the line, sweet jesus of Railway station
April 13, 2019 7:18 am ET

What if you
Haiku #63726, by One toke over the line, sweet jesus of Railway station
April 13, 2019 7:18 am ET

These are not poems.
These are the Words of The Lord!
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku #63725, by TTFFP
April 13, 2019 4:06 am ET

You know what it is,
The miracle of Jesus?
Praise be to Jesus!

Walking on water.
Fish, wine and bread, that's all fine.
Praise be to Jesus!

But those are not it!
He looked to strangers as friends.
Praise be to Jesus!

Only God does that.
And men fill with His spirit.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku #63724, by TTGFP
April 13, 2019 4:04 am ET

When you have Jesus
you can walk with your head high.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku #63723, by TTGFP
April 13, 2019 3:06 am ET

The Big Kahuna.
I do love a good burger.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku #63722, by Make mine Kosher. No cheese or bacon. of Hold the katsup and mayo.
April 13, 2019 3:04 am ET

Benny Mardones
Carpet Cleaning Services
I wouldn't trust him
Haiku #63721, by Primal scream of Into the night
April 13, 2019 2:08 am ET

Don't be do sure,bud
Might be conjoined headless twins
With a double cunt
Haiku #63720, by You the daddy
April 13, 2019 1:56 am ET

When she's on the pill
And one cums in her pussy
She won't get pregnant
Haiku #63719, by Master of The obvious
April 13, 2019 1:41 am ET

Gynecology
Looking at strangers pussies
Good for self esteem
Haiku #63718, by Delusions of Grandeur
April 13, 2019 1:11 am ET

I'm so tired of this
I'm writing the same poem
That I wrote last time
Haiku #63717, by Anonymous Poet
April 13, 2019 12:36 am ET

Funny things happen
When you don't pay attention
Bird shit on my head!
Haiku #63716, by Mindfulness
April 13, 2019 12:33 am ET

You got some nice legs
And you know I'm a leg man
Here, meet my third leg
Haiku #63715, by Triskellion Hellion
April 13, 2019 12:31 am ET

We all want to see
Jesus in a wife beater
Stella Stella!! Right?
Haiku #63714, by Put in a shirt of For Christ's sake
April 13, 2019 12:30 am ET

His one fantasy
She would walk across his back
In stiletto heels
Haiku #63713, by As seen through a keyhole
April 13, 2019 12:27 am ET

everything comes out
But maybe out the wrong end
And stains your good pants
Haiku #63712, by Beanie Baby
April 13, 2019 12:24 am ET

Cream whipped to a froth
Dispensed from the limp penis
Of Mister Fritzl
Haiku #63711, by Practically Perverted
April 12, 2019 10:59 pm ET

Preview of a poem
Jewel of a porcelain pond
Squadhedron in shape
Haiku #63710, by Run4yourlives
April 12, 2019 10:57 pm ET