Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 135 Days and 76968 Haiku later...

Been pulling for hours
I still cannot remove this
Python from my ass
Haiku # 63862, April 17, 2019 9:09 am ET
by Rural Guido of No toucha da mushrooms
There's too much filth here.
Don't give your hearts to Satan.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 63861, April 17, 2019 7:01 am ET
by TTGFP " of course you know this means war." -- Bugs Bunny
Spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm
Then wait seven syllables
Then start convulsing
Haiku # 63860, April 17, 2019 4:37 am ET
by Grand Mal of French Poetry
What's DF watching
As he drools on his keyboard...
Is it sports or spurts?
Haiku # 63859, April 17, 2019 4:33 am ET
by Howard Cosell Clean-up Committee
She swallowed your pride
Reclaim your manhood tonight
Watch sports on tv
Haiku # 63858, April 17, 2019 2:13 am ET
by Ghost of Howard Cosell of Sofa
I came too early
As most guys do at one time
At least she swallowed
Haiku # 63857, April 17, 2019 2:06 am ET
by End of A long day
Sir Darth Figpucker
Found NOT GUILTY by reason
Of profanity
Haiku # 63856, April 17, 2019 2:00 am ET
by Here cums of The Judge
Heads move from side to side
They're following the action
Can you grunt like me?
Haiku # 63855, April 17, 2019 1:58 am ET
by Monica Seles of Spectator Spurts
Sucking one's own dick
Should be a spectator sport
I know that I'd watch
Haiku # 63854, April 17, 2019 1:38 am ET
by Not guilty by reason of Temporary insanity
I got syphilis
Followed by gonorrhea
And then died of AIDS
Haiku # 63853, April 17, 2019 1:31 am ET
by Night of The Living Dead
Riding my skateboard
I'm so inspirational
Riding my skateboard
Haiku # 63852, April 16, 2019 11:22 pm ET
by Beto O'Rourke of Metallica concert
The only good thing
I have to say about France
Cats walk on tables
Haiku # 63851, April 16, 2019 9:44 pm ET
by Starkitten of Tables
Paris: flaming dame--
Payback for the massacres
Of the Huguenots
Haiku # 63850, April 16, 2019 9:27 pm ET
by St. Barthelemy of 1572
Farted,but no shit
Sneezed my head off, no booger
I got a hard on
Haiku # 63849, April 16, 2019 8:35 pm ET
by My Day
Is it possible?
Simultaneously sneeze
And blow your load, too?
Haiku # 63848, April 16, 2019 8:31 pm ET
by Getterdun
On this doll right here
Show us where Daddy touched you
A Figpucker Doll!
Haiku # 63847, April 16, 2019 8:28 pm ET
by What a Women want of Lining up
When things get boring
Dress your penis in doll clothes
Ventrilojizzum
Haiku # 63846, April 16, 2019 7:16 pm ET
by Throwing my Voice
Dirty underwear
New Jelly Belly flavour
Ronald Reagan's farts
Haiku # 63845, April 16, 2019 7:12 pm ET
by Win one for the quiffer
I saw you in church
Fishnet stockings, stilettos
Get a grip, Father!
Haiku # 63844, April 16, 2019 3:15 pm ET
by Holy Mackerel, Andy of The cow kicked Nancy
That pained expression
Mask of exasperation
As you take a shit
Haiku # 63843, April 16, 2019 3:10 pm ET
by Your face of You wear it well
Pissed off Italians
Not unlike cassowaries
Whatsamattayou??
Haiku # 63842, April 16, 2019 7:11 am ET
by Rural Guido of No toucha da mushrooms
Fire! Must Act Quickly!
Trump suggests golden showers
To extinguish fire
Haiku # 63841, April 16, 2019 7:07 am ET
by Noticer of Details of France
Roman relic burns
Do I give a Notre Dame?
It's just a building.
Haiku # 63840, April 16, 2019 5:42 am ET
by Holy Bone of the Virgins Adam's Apple
What started that fire?
Priest getting fucked up the ass
Flaming broom handle
Haiku # 63839, April 16, 2019 2:13 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Notre Dame
Throw down some haiku
The Lord forgives all your sins
Say some dirty words
Haiku # 63838, April 16, 2019 2:10 am ET
by Cunt Scribe
My time here is short.
I fear the monster's return.
It is what you want.
Haiku # 63837, April 16, 2019 2:07 am ET
by TTGFP of Lord have mercy on these sinful poets!
Praise be to the Lord!
My only friend in this world
Darth Figpucker
Haiku # 63836, April 16, 2019 2:05 am ET
by Starkitten of Glitter pan
Been chasing dollars.
For the church collection plate.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 63835, April 16, 2019 2:01 am ET
by TTGFP of No, seriously! I mean it!
Figpucker is gone
His dirty thoughts and prayers
Our consolation
Haiku # 63834, April 16, 2019 1:59 am ET
by Poet
Believe me, I try
Holding back the haiku flow
That time of the month
Haiku # 63833, April 16, 2019 1:55 am ET
by Cuntfart Cuntfart of cunt
Genital bonsai
Mutilation or high art
On the cutting edge
Haiku # 63832, April 16, 2019 1:46 am ET
by That foolish moustache tickles
No other art form
Brings the artist such pleasure
As masturbation
Haiku # 63831, April 16, 2019 1:39 am ET
by Self portrait
Turning Japanese
Left my shoes parked at the door
Dick origami
Haiku # 63830, April 16, 2019 1:35 am ET
by Spitting Crane
A lonely pursuit
Arrangement of syllables
Might as well beat off
Haiku # 63829, April 16, 2019 1:33 am ET
by Punk of Chewation
CB Radios
Mom standing in the kitchen
What a cameltoe
Haiku # 63828, April 16, 2019 1:21 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Beside myself
I thought they were pets
Rabbits down in the cellar
They were for dinner
Haiku # 63827, April 16, 2019 1:16 am ET
by Just a kid
Pissed off Italian
The chain link fence broom attack
Yard vigilante
Haiku # 63826, April 16, 2019 1:11 am ET
by Rural Guido of Backyard
Heads bowed in prayer
Fresh Halibut Homily
Homely as a cunt
Haiku # 63825, April 16, 2019 1:08 am ET
by Cuntfart Cuntfart of Cunt
At the slot machine
Pulled the wrong handle again
Jackpot of Jizzum
Haiku # 63824, April 16, 2019 1:04 am ET
by Winner winner choked chicken dinner
Sticks rubbed together
No more electricity
Modern day loin cloth
Haiku # 63823, April 16, 2019 12:37 am ET
by Largest size pouch of Selfie Stick
Hibernation ends
Groggy grizzly bears hunched
Spring bowel movements
Haiku # 63822, April 16, 2019 12:31 am ET
by Nose of Nose
Executioner
Like Big Bird high on bath salts
Bad Cassowary
Haiku # 63821, April 16, 2019 12:26 am ET
by Bad Egg of Dead End Street
Got a telegram
"I DIDN'T START THE FIRE" STOP
SENDER:BILLY JOEL
Haiku # 63820, April 16, 2019 12:18 am ET
by S. Cargo of Notre Dame
Polyester shorts
Your dad's penis snaking out
I better go home
Haiku # 63819, April 16, 2019 12:05 am ET
by Rural Guido
Wait I have no friend
Not even Lord Jesus Christ
Nor Father Christmas
Haiku # 63818, April 16, 2019 12:03 am ET
by Lone wolf
So what's the deal with
Lizard people? They're lizards?
Or are they people?
Haiku # 63817, April 16, 2019 12:02 am ET
by Jerry Seinfeld of 5 hits of acid
Bad Haiku poets
Have any met in real life?
Do you have real lives?
Haiku # 63816, April 15, 2019 11:59 pm ET
by Asking for a friend
No one cares enough
About you to be happy
Or sad when you die

And this is mostly
Your fault because you've chosen
To be a scumbag
Haiku # 63815, April 15, 2019 11:56 pm ET
by Ghost of Christmas
The train whistle blows
And so does your grandmother
Just ask the mailman
Haiku # 63814, April 15, 2019 10:59 pm ET
by The Mailman of Porch
Warming my cold feet
Against your hot testicles
You're good for something
Haiku # 63813, April 15, 2019 10:55 pm ET
by What women want of Dad's anteater
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