Turning Japanese
Left my shoes parked at the door
Dick origami

A lonely pursuit
Arrangement of syllables
Might as well beat off

CB Radios
Mom standing in the kitchen
What a cameltoe

I thought they were pets
Rabbits down in the cellar
They were for dinner

Pissed off Italian
The chain link fence broom attack
Yard vigilante

Heads bowed in prayer
Fresh Halibut Homily
Homely as a cunt

At the slot machine
Pulled the wrong handle again
Jackpot of Jizzum

Sticks rubbed together
No more electricity
Modern day loin cloth

Hibernation ends
Groggy grizzly bears hunched
Spring bowel movements

Executioner
Like Big Bird high on bath salts
Bad Cassowary

Got a telegram
"I DIDN'T START THE FIRE" STOP
SENDER:BILLY JOEL

Polyester shorts
Your dad's penis snaking out
I better go home

Wait I have no friend
Not even Lord Jesus Christ
Nor Father Christmas

So what's the deal with
Lizard people? They're lizards?
Or are they people?

Bad Haiku poets
Have any met in real life?
Do you have real lives?

No one cares enough
About you to be happy
Or sad when you die

And this is mostly
Your fault because you've chosen
To be a scumbag

The train whistle blows
And so does your grandmother
Just ask the mailman

Warming my cold feet
Against your hot testicles
You're good for something

I don't have a wife
And I ain't a lesbian
You ain't a poet

Listed side effects
Of fucking your wife include
Severe vomiting

I just want to know
How is The Hunchback doing?
Has anyone heard?

Next time we leave here
We will walk in to the sea
And just keep walking

As if she would care
Like envying the plumber
Unclogging the drain

Blowjobs are simple
One gives,the other receives
Then your wife walks in

Vocabulary
Terrible, terrible fire
Enormous asshole

Save time and feel great!
Orgasmic bowel movements
Sexcrement! Why not?

That was no orgy
Ladies Bible Study Group
We meet next week, too

My wife wasn't home
So I went to an orgy
Guess where my wife was

When your wife walks in
As you're fucking your girlfriend
That can be awkward

Darth's infantile mind
Displays two basic settings:
Sex and excrement

How can anyone
Produce so much bad haiku?
It must be software.

Tiger woods boner
He fucks subway sandwiches
Makes his own Mayo

Your pa diddled fish
Right at the dinner table
Up in Granny s cunt

Grandchildren are proof
Your kids were as dumb as you
So don't have either

come wrestle in mud
there's one catch though - it's not mud
not chocolate either

I live in the woods
I also have a dickbutt
Which is relevant

Milky meat people
Pounding their puds against walls
Those are my people

This world is all shit
All the people smell like shit
Are you their leader?

I am an agent
I also have a dickbutt
Which is relevant

I am a ghost, ånd
I sometimes speak Norwegian
Og jeg vet ikke

I am a duck, and
I like to browse internet
I also have hands

Bitching bastard birds
Evil Cassowary
Ostrich and Emu

You got a sandwich
Buttcheecks for bread. Big pickle
What would the meat be?

Come pet the puppy
And then you'll have a nice bath
Get ready for bed

Where I come from we
Tackle fairies like you boy
Hence my last name, see

I've never had kids
For a very good reason
Cuz they'd be fucked up

Wore out your welcome
You defecated full blast
In our pagoda

Cunnilingus school
You never should have dropped out
Could have been someone

Rockefeller stew
When you get a hankering
Sample our long pig

But do you own a
shrunken head signed by Osbourn?
Heathen artifacts.