BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
22 Years
248 Days
and
65352 Haikus
later...
Turning Japanese
Left my shoes parked at the door
Dick origami
Haiku #63830, by Spitting Crane
April 16, 2019 1:35 am ET

A lonely pursuit
Arrangement of syllables
Might as well beat off
Haiku #63829, by Punk of Chewation
April 16, 2019 1:33 am ET

CB Radios
Mom standing in the kitchen
What a cameltoe
Haiku #63828, by Noticer of Details of Beside myself
April 16, 2019 1:21 am ET

I thought they were pets
Rabbits down in the cellar
They were for dinner
Haiku #63827, by Just a kid
April 16, 2019 1:16 am ET

Pissed off Italian
The chain link fence broom attack
Yard vigilante
Haiku #63826, by Rural Guido of Backyard
April 16, 2019 1:11 am ET

Heads bowed in prayer
Fresh Halibut Homily
Homely as a cunt
Haiku #63825, by Cuntfart Cuntfart of Cunt
April 16, 2019 1:08 am ET

At the slot machine
Pulled the wrong handle again
Jackpot of Jizzum
Haiku #63824, by Winner winner choked chicken dinner
April 16, 2019 1:04 am ET

Sticks rubbed together
No more electricity
Modern day loin cloth
Haiku #63823, by Largest size pouch of Selfie Stick
April 16, 2019 12:37 am ET

Hibernation ends
Groggy grizzly bears hunched
Spring bowel movements
Haiku #63822, by Nose of Nose
April 16, 2019 12:31 am ET

Executioner
Like Big Bird high on bath salts
Bad Cassowary
Haiku #63821, by Bad Egg of Dead End Street
April 16, 2019 12:26 am ET

Got a telegram
"I DIDN'T START THE FIRE" STOP
SENDER:BILLY JOEL
Haiku #63820, by S. Cargo of Notre Dame
April 16, 2019 12:18 am ET

Polyester shorts
Your dad's penis snaking out
I better go home
Haiku #63819, by Rural Guido
April 16, 2019 12:05 am ET

Wait I have no friend
Not even Lord Jesus Christ
Nor Father Christmas
Haiku #63818, by Lone wolf
April 16, 2019 12:03 am ET

So what's the deal with
Lizard people? They're lizards?
Or are they people?
Haiku #63817, by Jerry Seinfeld of 5 hits of acid
April 16, 2019 12:02 am ET

Bad Haiku poets
Have any met in real life?
Do you have real lives?
Haiku #63816, by Asking for a friend
April 15, 2019 11:59 pm ET

No one cares enough
About you to be happy
Or sad when you die

And this is mostly
Your fault because you've chosen
To be a scumbag
Haiku #63815, by Ghost of Christmas
April 15, 2019 11:56 pm ET

The train whistle blows
And so does your grandmother
Just ask the mailman
Haiku #63814, by The Mailman of Porch
April 15, 2019 10:59 pm ET

Warming my cold feet
Against your hot testicles
You're good for something
Haiku #63813, by What women want of Dad's anteater
April 15, 2019 10:55 pm ET

I don't have a wife
And I ain't a lesbian
You ain't a poet
Haiku #63812, by Cuntfart Cuntfart of Cunt
April 15, 2019 10:52 pm ET

Listed side effects
Of fucking your wife include
Severe vomiting
Haiku #63811, by Let go of My arm
April 15, 2019 10:46 pm ET

I just want to know
How is The Hunchback doing?
Has anyone heard?
Haiku #63810, by That foolish moustache tickles of Wherever you find smelly arthritis
April 15, 2019 9:51 pm ET

Next time we leave here
We will walk in to the sea
And just keep walking
Haiku #63809, by Big Plans
April 15, 2019 7:36 pm ET

As if she would care
Like envying the plumber
Unclogging the drain
Haiku #63808, by What women want of No toucha da mushrooms
April 15, 2019 7:00 pm ET

Blowjobs are simple
One gives,the other receives
Then your wife walks in
Haiku #63807, by Out of My element
April 15, 2019 6:23 pm ET

Vocabulary
Terrible, terrible fire
Enormous asshole
Haiku #63806, by Very very tremendous terrific of The best words
April 15, 2019 6:22 pm ET

Save time and feel great!
Orgasmic bowel movements
Sexcrement! Why not?
Haiku #63805, by Efficiency Expert of Jerking off while I write this
April 15, 2019 2:31 pm ET

That was no orgy
Ladies Bible Study Group
We meet next week, too
Haiku #63804, by Naomi the Moner of Spread eagled
April 15, 2019 12:27 pm ET

My wife wasn't home
So I went to an orgy
Guess where my wife was
Haiku #63803, by The Joy of Sex
April 15, 2019 10:23 am ET

When your wife walks in
As you're fucking your girlfriend
That can be awkward
Haiku #63802, by World Series of Poker
April 15, 2019 10:07 am ET

Darth's infantile mind
Displays two basic settings:
Sex and excrement
Haiku #63801, by He Never Gets Bored... But We Do
April 15, 2019 7:03 am ET

How can anyone
Produce so much bad haiku?
It must be software.
Haiku #63800, by DF is an algorithm
April 15, 2019 5:34 am ET

Tiger woods boner
He fucks subway sandwiches
Makes his own Mayo
Haiku #63799, by Anonymous Poet
April 15, 2019 2:29 am ET

Your pa diddled fish
Right at the dinner table
Up in Granny s cunt
Haiku #63798, by Anonymous Poet
April 15, 2019 2:01 am ET

Grandchildren are proof
Your kids were as dumb as you
So don't have either
Haiku #63797, by Proof of My parents having fucked
April 15, 2019 1:54 am ET

come wrestle in mud
there's one catch though - it's not mud
not chocolate either
Haiku #63796, by what's it called when you wrestle alone in a pile of shit?
April 15, 2019 1:48 am ET


I live in the woods
I also have a dickbutt
Which is relevant
Haiku #63795, by Rural Dickbutt
April 15, 2019 1:44 am ET

Milky meat people
Pounding their puds against walls
Those are my people
Haiku #63794, by People person
April 15, 2019 1:44 am ET

This world is all shit
All the people smell like shit
Are you their leader?
Haiku #63793, by Visitors
April 15, 2019 1:41 am ET

I am an agent
I also have a dickbutt
Which is relevant
Haiku #63792, by Secret Agent Dickbutt of Langley, VA
April 15, 2019 1:38 am ET

I am a ghost, ånd
I sometimes speak Norwegian
Og jeg vet ikke
Haiku #63791, by Hans Ånd of haunted house
April 15, 2019 1:22 am ET

I am a duck, and
I like to browse internet
I also have hands
Haiku #63790, by Hans And of local toxic chemical spill
April 15, 2019 1:20 am ET

Bitching bastard birds
Evil Cassowary
Ostrich and Emu
Haiku #63789, by Rural Guido of I wanted to fuck them
April 15, 2019 1:15 am ET

You got a sandwich
Buttcheecks for bread. Big pickle
What would the meat be?
Haiku #63788, by Rural Guido of Here
April 15, 2019 1:12 am ET

Come pet the puppy
And then you'll have a nice bath
Get ready for bed
Haiku #63787, by Grandma of Grandma's House
April 15, 2019 1:11 am ET

Where I come from we
Tackle fairies like you boy
Hence my last name, see
Haiku #63786, by Garth Fagtackler of The Deep South
April 15, 2019 1:07 am ET

I've never had kids
For a very good reason
Cuz they'd be fucked up
Haiku #63785, by Bring me the head of Alfredo Garcia
April 15, 2019 1:06 am ET

Wore out your welcome
You defecated full blast
In our pagoda
Haiku #63784, by Noticer of Details of Wherever you find smelly arthritis
April 15, 2019 12:14 am ET

Cunnilingus school
You never should have dropped out
Could have been someone
Haiku #63783, by That foolish moustache tickles of Under the milky way (2nite)
April 15, 2019 12:10 am ET

Rockefeller stew
When you get a hankering
Sample our long pig
Haiku #63782, by When God aint looking
April 15, 2019 12:08 am ET

But do you own a
shrunken head signed by Osbourn?
Heathen artifacts.
Haiku #63781, by Praise be to Jesus! of There's no "e" in Osborn's name.
April 14, 2019 11:52 pm ET