Figpucker is gone
His dirty thoughts and prayers
Our consolation
by Poet
Believe me, I try
Holding back the haiku flow
That time of the month
by Cuntfart Cuntfart of cunt
Genital bonsai
Mutilation or high art
On the cutting edge
by That foolish moustache tickles
No other art form
Brings the artist such pleasure
As masturbation
by Self portrait
Turning Japanese
Left my shoes parked at the door
Dick origami
by Spitting Crane
A lonely pursuit
Arrangement of syllables
Might as well beat off
by Punk of Chewation
CB Radios
Mom standing in the kitchen
What a cameltoe
by Noticer of Details of Beside myself
I thought they were pets
Rabbits down in the cellar
They were for dinner
by Just a kid
Pissed off Italian
The chain link fence broom attack
Yard vigilante
by Rural Guido of Backyard
Heads bowed in prayer
Fresh Halibut Homily
Homely as a cunt
by Cuntfart Cuntfart of Cunt
At the slot machine
Pulled the wrong handle again
Jackpot of Jizzum
by Winner winner choked chicken dinner
Sticks rubbed together
No more electricity
Modern day loin cloth
by Largest size pouch of Selfie Stick
Hibernation ends
Groggy grizzly bears hunched
Spring bowel movements
by Nose of Nose
Executioner
Like Big Bird high on bath salts
Bad Cassowary
by Bad Egg of Dead End Street
Got a telegram
"I DIDN'T START THE FIRE" STOP
SENDER:BILLY JOEL
by S. Cargo of Notre Dame
Polyester shorts
Your dad's penis snaking out
I better go home
by Rural Guido
Wait I have no friend
Not even Lord Jesus Christ
Nor Father Christmas
by Lone wolf
So what's the deal with
Lizard people? They're lizards?
Or are they people?
by Jerry Seinfeld of 5 hits of acid
Bad Haiku poets
Have any met in real life?
Do you have real lives?
by Asking for a friend
No one cares enough
About you to be happy
Or sad when you die
And this is mostly
Your fault because you've chosen
To be a scumbag
by Ghost of Christmas
The train whistle blows
And so does your grandmother
Just ask the mailman
by The Mailman of Porch
Warming my cold feet
Against your hot testicles
You're good for something
by What women want of Dad's anteater
I don't have a wife
And I ain't a lesbian
You ain't a poet
by Cuntfart Cuntfart of Cunt
Listed side effects
Of fucking your wife include
Severe vomiting
by Let go of My arm
I just want to know
How is The Hunchback doing?
Has anyone heard?
by That foolish moustache tickles of Wherever you find smelly arthritis
Next time we leave here
We will walk in to the sea
And just keep walking
by Big Plans
As if she would care
Like envying the plumber
Unclogging the drain
by What women want of No toucha da mushrooms
Blowjobs are simple
One gives,the other receives
Then your wife walks in
by Out of My element
Vocabulary
Terrible, terrible fire
Enormous asshole
by Very very tremendous terrific of The best words
Save time and feel great!
Orgasmic bowel movements
Sexcrement! Why not?
by Efficiency Expert of Jerking off while I write this
That was no orgy
Ladies Bible Study Group
We meet next week, too
by Naomi the Moner of Spread eagled
My wife wasn't home
So I went to an orgy
Guess where my wife was
by The Joy of Sex
When your wife walks in
As you're fucking your girlfriend
That can be awkward
by World Series of Poker
Darth's infantile mind
Displays two basic settings:
Sex and excrement
by He Never Gets Bored... But We Do
How can anyone
Produce so much bad haiku?
It must be software.
by DF is an algorithm
Tiger woods boner
He fucks subway sandwiches
Makes his own Mayo
by Anonymous Poet
Your pa diddled fish
Right at the dinner table
Up in Granny s cunt
by Anonymous Poet
Grandchildren are proof
Your kids were as dumb as you
So don't have either
by Proof of My parents having fucked
come wrestle in mud
there's one catch though - it's not mud
not chocolate either
by what's it called when you wrestle alone in a pile of shit?
I live in the woods
I also have a dickbutt
Which is relevant
by Rural Dickbutt
Milky meat people
Pounding their puds against walls
Those are my people
by People person
This world is all shit
All the people smell like shit
Are you their leader?
by Visitors
I am an agent
I also have a dickbutt
Which is relevant
by Secret Agent Dickbutt of Langley, VA
I am a ghost, ånd
I sometimes speak Norwegian
Og jeg vet ikke
by Hans Ånd of haunted house
I am a duck, and
I like to browse internet
I also have hands
by Hans And of local toxic chemical spill
Bitching bastard birds
Evil Cassowary
Ostrich and Emu
by Rural Guido of I wanted to fuck them
You got a sandwich
Buttcheecks for bread. Big pickle
What would the meat be?
by Rural Guido of Here
Come pet the puppy
And then you'll have a nice bath
Get ready for bed
by Grandma of Grandma's House
Where I come from we
Tackle fairies like you boy
Hence my last name, see
by Garth Fagtackler of The Deep South
I've never had kids
For a very good reason
Cuz they'd be fucked up
by Bring me the head of Alfredo Garcia
