At Japanese house
Please take off shoes then come in
Proper etiquette

Over at my place
Please take off all clothes. Come in.
Well cum mat is out

Up in the window
I m wearing Mother s bathrobe
Pink underpanties

Up in the window
I

My mother said to
get things done you better not
mess with Major Tom.

Cereal is good
Perverted Cookie Jarvis
Oh that poor woman

I made a Tootsie
Thought of you for a moment
And your spraying ways

Remember the time
We pretended we were bears
And mauled the post man?

Jesus had it rough
Never had a grandfather
Live in someone's mouth

Who was God's father
Did he have a Godfather
I just can't even

Christian fucking shit.
I should have said Tootsie Roll.
Sometimes we need shit.

YouTube Jesus spam.
If he were real, he'd be proud.
Bathroom wall scripture!

https://youtu.be/L4e2ST3evmU

Granddad's foul anus
has always lived in my mouth.
Ask him; he's right here...

Yep, that Figpucker
grandson o' mine loves to eat
old mens' foul arseholes.

Grand-dad's foul anus
Lives again in your own mouth.
Or is it your mind?

I am getting old.
I had something foul to say.
Forgot what it was.

Unwrap my tootsie
More meaty than a Werthers
Grandad's foul anus

Keep the front dirty
Effective man repellent
Reversed with fly strip

After I haiku
I reach for the spray nozzle
Hose the syllables

That's why we inhale
Capture all the reefer madness
Sky High Zooming by

Allow me to add
Billy Shatner's epic spooge
Slides down like butter

I hate it when the
location gets backed up right
next to the haiku.

You should buy all three.
Get erect without jock itch
and a nice calm high.

Fungus destroyer
Cannabliss CBD oil
Get rock hard today

My mind's eye sees it
The gentle hearted poet
Reaching for the spray

Imagine a world
Where everyone wipes the ass
Of the next person

It's easy to spray.
Wiping requires more stretch.
Be clean for your man!

I couldn't live there
No range of motion at all
Smelly Arthritis

A raging woody
Rage against the tangerine
And his orange peen

Free bottom cleaning.
Step right up, I'll spray your ass.
Tootsie Rolls be gone!

My special treatment.
Bend over so I can spray.
Gay bar night out prep.

There was never rage.
I'm completely in control.
My sweet Tootsie Roll.

I guess Trump is a
Cheeto flavored Tootsie Rolle.
It's fact; there's no rage.

Artificial cheese.
Hydrogenated palm fat.
Salt and orange dye.

The Tootsie Roll hole
or Tootsie Roll factory;
either suffices.

And I guess that farts
can be Tootsie Roll vapors.
Sort of like vaping.

We're all coming there
You can wipe our Tootsie holes
See Darth's Tootsie Pop

Don't call it asshole
Now it's the Tootsie Roll hole
Tootsie in the bowl

Your rage against Trump:
completely irrational,
Since you are Tootsie.

Saying Donald Trump
is a big fat Tootsie Roll
insults Tootsie Rolls.

If I were insane,
the first thing that I would do
is throw Tootsie Rolls.

You ass might get wet,
but only very slightly,
and Tootsie Roll free!

I almost stepped in
a big pile of dog Tootsie
Rolls but I saw it.

I have changed my ways!
I no longer speak of... it.
Now it's Tootsie Rolls!

Why the fuck i here
I speak no conjugation
Don't think I china

Most unsettling
Water trickling down bum crack
While you pull up pants

Most unsettling
Water trickling down bum crack
While you pull up pants

Dear Darth Figpucker
When I come to visit you
You can wipe my bum

Great thing about Darth:
at least he doesn't waste time
by not talking shit.

Sci-fi Fleshlight toys.
Dilithium or khyber
power batteries?

No suction exists
That could suck all Bill Shatner's
spooge into a jar.

Just a dish sprayer.
Spray it vertically down
the crack of your ass.

Tootsie residue
sprays right off into the john.
And no need to wipe.

Quite sanitary.
Environmentally safe.
And it feels so good!

I looked on YouTube
Hose looks unsanitary
Just like my asshole

That would never work
My arthritis is so bad
And so is my aim

No need to disrobe.
Just like normal Tootsieing.
Pants around ankles.

Spray down your backside
when done making Tootsie Rolls.
Or wrap and sell them.

No, no. The sprayer
attaches at the back of
the toilet faucet.

After creating
a Tootsie Roll you just spray
the filth off your ass.

It all goes into
the toilet and saves TP.
Environmental!

And your ass feels fresh!
TP doesn't clean that well.
Bye-bye Tootsie Rolls!

When you roll the tootsie
Do you take off all your clothes?
Then you spray your ass?

I don't use TP.
I did not squeeze the Charmin.
I use a sprayer.

Asians use water.
And their bathrooms are filthy.
Tootsie Roll central.

Roaches are well fed.
Tootsie Roll bits on the floor.
Flies enjoy it too.

Sprayers have higher
accuracy; my bathroom's
free of Tootsie Rolls.