You're under arrest.
You have the right to remain...
Just then I farted

I'm proud of myself.
Smashed a big fat mosquito.
Guts on math papers.

It got everywhere
Poissonous distribution.
Randomly deceased.

It's no mystery.
The meat is old and rotten.
Those aren't peppercorns.

Meat rises like bread.
Yeasty vinegar odor.
Beer, bread, and beaver.

Tight squeeze in the lift
Suffocation is your fate
Supreme tuna melt

Mystery meat
Throbulating in your pants
Boot imprint that one

Her wings have been clipped
French beaking birdseed exchange
Bird uglies engorged

Chinese man fuck fat
American girl when go
in elevator.

This is Wong on so many levels.

The work will be done
Midgets and dwarves dispatched now
No need to worry

Thinking of Miss Wing
When I left, I heard her say -Oh!
Fool! should have stayed!

Philippines steak house.
Seventy five percent fat.
Fifteen percent bone.

They don't know better.
They will die of heart attacks.
And thank God for that!

Seems this really sucks
Sent to Tibetan Bardo
For my rascal sins

Purgatory like
You live in a leaky hut
for a black kalpa

You try to repair
Workmen in the hut pounding
For eternity

The Holiday Inn
Encino, California
Boot imprint on steak

A vow of silence
Most unholy flatulence
Under the brown Robe

Exaggeration
Autobiographical
Obituary

Nobody told us
We would spend most of our lives
Wishing we were dead

Everything I touch
From now I will touch nothing
Nothing will touch me

I dreamt of midgets
Woke up with a huge boner
Live, love, and laugh loud

Hang fish on clothesline
I'll sit back with a
40 oz
Watch the seagulls feast

Colonoscopy
While I have your attention
Hear my sales pitch, please

Those Chinese meatballs
Juggling chickens with bound feet
Rice stuck in my teeth

Chinee, Japanee,
Dirty knee --- look at the way
I write great Haiku!

Chinese Factory
Day of Official Laughter
See our Junk! HaHa!

Venezuelan coup:
Petro-dollar-banker's brew;
C.I.A... you too?

Christianity;
The man who invented it
should be crucified.

Cannibalism
is okay, just think of it
as recycling.

The old millionaire
Paid for some moo goo gai pan
Then the cops arrived

Family recipe
The secret ingredient
Granny

Seductive dancing
Overalls with a rope belt
I

That is how they found him
Every inch of his body
Covered with thick shit

Irresistible
What you are, Darth Figpucker.
You are the rum ball!

Gooey, a bit bold..
Not everyone

That

Seriously though, let's talk rum balls again.
With or without
Walnuts? Pecans? Rolled in powdered sugar? A little chocolate powder added? Coconut? Maybe rolled in coconut?
For the sticky ball forming liquid, should it be honey or maple syrup? Or something else.
So many experiments to run.
And what kind of rum and how much?
I've used 151 Bacardi before, but that was a bit too harsh. But it keeps its "kick" more if you want to keep them a while in the fridge or something.
And then, there's the really really important question.... ganja butter or not? I mean. Why not. It makes the flavor kind of grassy, but I like it. Just got to keep them away from the kids, you know... Although, I don't know, do you think my 13yo is old enough for ganja cookies? I think most people would say, sure, what the hell. But you conservative poets... I don't know about you.
Oh, I discovered some magical beans (seeds) that make some really wonderful farts. I don't even know what they are called, but man, will they make you gassy. I will have to find out what they are called. I wonder if they have medicinal properties. I love eating strange plants, hoping it will kill me some day or I'll discover the elixir of life. No luck with either yet.
Okay, toodles! I have work to do...
Yeah, work. Some people still do that, if you can believe it. I mean, Jeez, even Amazon jungle tribes are on FB all Goddamn day these days. World is turning to shit... Uh oh... I'll sign off now. Bye.

I do not talk shit.
But sometimes shit talks to me,
tells me what to say.

I've no choice, you see.
I am just a puppet-tool.
Kind of like Jesus.

I'm a shit fountain!
Shit spews from mouth, pen, anus,
nose, even my dick!

When I fuck cheap whores
I fill their wombs with shit kids
that write shit poems.

Rise, my progeny,
fill book stores and libraries
with your shit poems!

As Luke discovered,
"No, Cuntfart, I'm your father.
Join me blah blah blah."

His anus still speaks.
He still excretes haiku verse.
Behold: Figpucker !

Darth is like that kid
everyone knew in 3rd grade
who talked shit all day...

I just make the poo.
But you must love to eat it.
Why else are you here?

Elephant tusks ride
Hoping for a soft landing
Not in a dung pile

I have four stomachs
According to the mirror
And I'm not a cow

Poop vending machine
Oh, what will they think of next?
Just press number 2

Fire chief in disgrace
Spotty employment record
Screwed the Dalmatian

Correction: domain's
name is Darth likes to eat poop.
His verse bears witness!

Your new domain name:
iliketoeatshit dot com.
It's available.

https://www.name.com/domain/search/iliketoeatpoop

Took three firemen
to remove those old dentures.
Grandma was in bliss.

Remember the time
Grandpa hid Grandma's dentures
In her dried up cunt?

Let's discuss rum balls.
Do you like them with walnuts
or maybe pecans?

I'm thinking of a
tropical theme; chocolate
and coconut flakes.

But then, why not both!
Break out the Captain Morgans!
Some for the rum balls.

And then some for me.
Then a little more for me.
Oh, fuck the rum balls.

This always happens.
Good intentions turn to shit.
And a hangover.

While you were sleeping
I gently removed the cash
You'll never catch me

I am quite certain
There is little room for doubt
I would bet money on it

He's locked and loaded
Father is irritable
Constipated Man

What ya waiting for?
Come on and join the circus
Here, hold my pythons

Prosthetic rear end
God played a cruel joke on you
Put the ass in front