Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 42 Days and 77437 Haiku later...

Shitting coffee beans
Reasonable facsimile
I'm Mr. Coffee
Haiku # 62475, February 24, 2019 8:04 pm ET
by Up all night
Practice makes perfect
Impromptu knife throwing act
More marriage counseling?
Haiku # 62474, February 24, 2019 8:02 pm ET
by The long haul
Don't do drugs young fools
Don't give the devil money
And walk into hell
Haiku # 62473, February 24, 2019 7:57 pm ET
by Mr Foright of Tamo's Cave
I should go practice
But I'm a lazy devil
And losing power

All compound things
Are subject to destruction
And that includes me
Haiku # 62472, February 24, 2019 7:52 pm ET
by Mr Foright of Tamo's Cave
head of the household
Human farting machine gun
He's locked and loaded
Haiku # 62471, February 24, 2019 6:47 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
You got high on meth
My methane is high octane
Flavour of poon tang
Haiku # 62470, February 24, 2019 6:41 pm ET
by Farter knows best
Demon-possessed gnomes
are nowhere near as bad as
gnome-possessed demons.

Just think about it.
Demons with gnomes up their ass
controlled from within.

That's downright scary.
I wouldn't want to fight one.
Not even on meth.
Haiku # 62469, February 24, 2019 6:27 pm ET
by df
On your Judgement Day
may you behold your haiku
and have to smell it !
Haiku # 62468, February 24, 2019 5:53 pm ET
by Eminence of Flatulence (all at once)
You have been followed
Demonically possessed gnomes
Try to remain calm
Haiku # 62467, February 24, 2019 4:31 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Inevitable
It's the Law of Attraction
Pulls you to the stench
Haiku # 62466, February 24, 2019 4:28 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Edge of a high cliff
Plenty have flung themselves off
I come here to fart
Haiku # 62465, February 24, 2019 4:25 pm ET
by Solitude of Cliff
Sneaky little fart
My moist methane messenger
I'm locked and loaded
Haiku # 62464, February 24, 2019 4:22 pm ET
by LaCake
Answer obvious
Good old Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt
Udderly smelly
Haiku # 62463, February 24, 2019 12:37 pm ET
by Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt of Woody Jackson Cunt Flap
Huge methane release.
Containing toxic gasses.
Philippines deadly.

Scientists baffled.
Source still unidentified.
Millions have perished.
Haiku # 62462, February 24, 2019 9:51 am ET
by PAROOOOOOTATOOTPATOOT
Disgusted with the food here
Half raw fish and it looks like puke
Haiku # 62461, February 24, 2019 2:26 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Foam finger fucking
Bend over all you sports fans
Take one for the team
Haiku # 62460, February 24, 2019 2:03 am ET
by Mediocre gym teacher
My outlaws are far.
I'll send my jizz UPS
from the massage spa.
Haiku # 62459, February 24, 2019 1:25 am ET
by df
Now run to the church
Ask for forgiveness of sins
Think up some more pranks
Haiku # 62458, February 24, 2019 12:38 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Recycle the jar
Fill it with bowel movements
Homemade Nutella
Haiku # 62457, February 24, 2019 12:37 am ET
by Nutella soul of Lag while you watch them eat it
Hellman's mayonnaise
Plunge your penis in the jar
Dogs will come running
Haiku # 62456, February 24, 2019 12:35 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Here's what I would do
Jerk off in your in laws shoes
Tell them it's snake spit
Haiku # 62455, February 24, 2019 12:30 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I cannot decide.
Should I jack off to k-pop
or get a "massage".
Haiku # 62454, February 24, 2019 12:19 am ET
by df
Please follow my lead
Whenever you need to fart
Get in someone's face
Haiku # 62453, February 24, 2019 12:16 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Tiki bar blow job
Compose insincere postcard
Dab stamp in my glue
Haiku # 62452, February 23, 2019 11:54 pm ET
by To Mother in law of Wish you were here
Walked the beach at dusk
I watched you hold your sandals
Your feet smell like cheese
Haiku # 62451, February 23, 2019 11:50 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
mystery vacay
Where is father taking us?
To the orphanage
Haiku # 62450, February 23, 2019 11:48 pm ET
by Had it of Up to here
Fleshlight powered by
evil red kyber crystals.
Cum soaked tie fighter.

Relieves the tension.
Standard storm trooper issue.
Vader's is special.
Haiku # 62449, February 23, 2019 10:14 pm ET
by Stinky Wars -- May the Farts be with you.
Those tired slanted eyes
If they could just see you now
Wielding that Fleshlight
Haiku # 62448, February 23, 2019 9:24 pm ET
by Worth it
Cephalopod dream
Ink jizzum cloud explosion
Undersea crush
Haiku # 62447, February 23, 2019 9:21 pm ET
by Tantalized of Tentacle
Would you block my cock
or just my bad poetry.
Drown in my jizz ink.
Haiku # 62446, February 23, 2019 8:53 pm ET
by df
Chinese government
develops genetically
modified workers.

They never need sleep,
always do what you tell them,
and have huge titties.
Haiku # 62445, February 23, 2019 8:51 pm ET
by What the world needs now is cloned sex slaves. of Cambodian underground laboratory.
Dolls that write haiku.
Or a doll that shits itself.
It's all samey same.

Chinese workers lack
any sense of comedy;
they're much too tired.
Haiku # 62444, February 23, 2019 8:47 pm ET
by df -- whipping those lazy factory gooks into shape of Oh, no, was that racist!
Petting zoo shut down
They only had one aardvark
That's not an aardvark....
Haiku # 62443, February 23, 2019 8:28 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Poems on my dink
I wrote them on post it notes
Got extra sticky
Haiku # 62442, February 23, 2019 7:52 pm ET
by Poetry of Everywhere
Who reads your poems?
Who reads your poems, I asked?
Who reads your poems
Haiku # 62441, February 23, 2019 7:09 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
"Block User" feature:
If only this site had one.
Time for block party!
Haiku # 62440, February 23, 2019 4:38 pm ET
by Guess Who I Would Block?
Life long erection
Searing pain without relief
Cursed by witches
Haiku # 62439, February 23, 2019 2:54 pm ET
by Cur sed of I said I said I said
I checked the account
There has been no deposit
Canadian Tired
Haiku # 62438, February 23, 2019 2:49 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Rotisserie spit
Developing a fine glaze
My first human roast
Haiku # 62437, February 23, 2019 2:47 pm ET
by Maniacal of Laughter
Saturation point
Apartment dwellers below
Notice drops of blood
Haiku # 62436, February 23, 2019 2:14 pm ET
by Serial Killer of 2nd floor note to self next time basement suite
Art class nude model
Red faced with embarrassment
Shriveling penis
Haiku # 62435, February 23, 2019 2:08 pm ET
by Just can't stand still
During a blow job
Are you supposed to breathe out
Or do you inhale
Haiku # 62434, February 23, 2019 2:06 pm ET
by Confused
Imagine a world
Everyone wiping the ass
Of nearest person
Haiku # 62433, February 23, 2019 2:03 pm ET
by Help each other
Emergency room
Priest arrives with singed buttocks
Charred broom handle
Haiku # 62432, February 23, 2019 2:00 pm ET
by Strange Occurrences
Class action lawsuit
Blow up haiku poet doll
Not as expected

Chinese Factory
Remember Baby Alive?
Workers laugh heads off
Haiku # 62431, February 23, 2019 12:36 pm ET
by Hahaha
Balloon boy is real.
He's a blow-up male sex doll.
But has a slow leak.

Needs daily blowjob
to stay alive/inflated.
But then, don't we all.
Haiku # 62430, February 23, 2019 10:57 am ET
by Made in China Cum Rain
It does blur the sheets
Your diarrhea's gotten worse
I know you know why
Haiku # 62429, February 23, 2019 10:46 am ET
by df
Balloon boy a hoax?
Starkitten in basket
Darth full of hot air
Haiku # 62428, February 23, 2019 9:05 am ET
by Wrighteous Bros of Up
Old bastard can't sleep
A life long affection
Sleep when you are dead
Haiku # 62427, February 23, 2019 9:00 am ET
by Rolang of 7734
Just flew over France
Dipped low for a loaf of bread
Cats walk on tables!
Haiku # 62426, February 23, 2019 5:15 am ET
by Balloon Basket passengers of Up
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