Took three firemen
to remove those old dentures.
Grandma was in bliss.
by Bufford Maynard McSkeeter
Remember the time
Grandpa hid Grandma's dentures
In her dried up cunt?
by Martha Ray of The Big Mouth
Let's discuss rum balls.
Do you like them with walnuts
or maybe pecans?
I'm thinking of a
tropical theme; chocolate
and coconut flakes.
But then, why not both!
Break out the Captain Morgans!
Some for the rum balls.
And then some for me.
Then a little more for me.
Oh, fuck the rum balls.
This always happens.
Good intentions turn to shit.
And a hangover.
by Daaaaarrrth Figpucker! of Kiss my pirate's bootie.
While you were sleeping
I gently removed the cash
You'll never catch me
by Pick Pocket
I am quite certain
There is little room for doubt
I would bet money on it
by Sure thing
He's locked and loaded
Father is irritable
Constipated Man
by Anonymous Poet
What ya waiting for?
Come on and join the circus
Here, hold my pythons
by big top Sally
Prosthetic rear end
God played a cruel joke on you
Put the ass in front
by Pants dropper
Shitting coffee beans
Reasonable facsimile
I'm Mr. Coffee
by Up all night
Practice makes perfect
Impromptu knife throwing act
More marriage counseling?
by The long haul
Don't do drugs young fools
Don't give the devil money
And walk into hell
by Mr Foright of Tamo's Cave
I should go practice
But I'm a lazy devil
And losing power
All compound things
Are subject to destruction
And that includes me
by Mr Foright of Tamo's Cave
head of the household
Human farting machine gun
He's locked and loaded
by Anonymous Poet
You got high on meth
My methane is high octane
Flavour of poon tang
by Farter knows best
Demon-possessed gnomes
are nowhere near as bad as
gnome-possessed demons.
Just think about it.
Demons with gnomes up their ass
controlled from within.
That's downright scary.
I wouldn't want to fight one.
Not even on meth.
by df
On your Judgement Day
may you behold your haiku
and have to smell it !
by Eminence of Flatulence (all at once)
You have been followed
Demonically possessed gnomes
Try to remain calm
by Anonymous Poet
Inevitable
It's the Law of Attraction
Pulls you to the stench
by Anonymous Poet
Edge of a high cliff
Plenty have flung themselves off
I come here to fart
by Solitude of Cliff
Sneaky little fart
My moist methane messenger
I'm locked and loaded
by LaCake
Answer obvious
Good old Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt
Udderly smelly
by Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt of Woody Jackson Cunt Flap
Huge methane release.
Containing toxic gasses.
Philippines deadly.
Scientists baffled.
Source still unidentified.
Millions have perished.
by PAROOOOOOTATOOTPATOOT
Disgusted with the food here
Half raw fish and it looks like puke
by Anonymous Poet
Foam finger fucking
Bend over all you sports fans
Take one for the team
by Mediocre gym teacher
My outlaws are far.
I'll send my jizz UPS
from the massage spa.
by df
Now run to the church
Ask for forgiveness of sins
Think up some more pranks
by Anonymous Poet
Recycle the jar
Fill it with bowel movements
Homemade Nutella
by Nutella soul of Lag while you watch them eat it
Hellman's mayonnaise
Plunge your penis in the jar
Dogs will come running
by Anonymous Poet
Here's what I would do
Jerk off in your in laws shoes
Tell them it's snake spit
by Anonymous Poet
I cannot decide.
Should I jack off to k-pop
or get a "massage".
by df
Please follow my lead
Whenever you need to fart
Get in someone's face
by Anonymous Poet
Tiki bar blow job
Compose insincere postcard
Dab stamp in my glue
by To Mother in law of Wish you were here
Walked the beach at dusk
I watched you hold your sandals
Your feet smell like cheese
by Anonymous Poet
mystery vacay
Where is father taking us?
To the orphanage
by Had it of Up to here
Fleshlight powered by
evil red kyber crystals.
Cum soaked tie fighter.
Relieves the tension.
Standard storm trooper issue.
Vader's is special.
by Stinky Wars -- May the Farts be with you.
Those tired slanted eyes
If they could just see you now
Wielding that Fleshlight
by Worth it
Cephalopod dream
Ink jizzum cloud explosion
Undersea crush
by Tantalized of Tentacle
Would you block my cock
or just my bad poetry.
Drown in my jizz ink.
by df
Chinese government
develops genetically
modified workers.
They never need sleep,
always do what you tell them,
and have huge titties.
by What the world needs now is cloned sex slaves. of Cambodian underground laboratory.
Dolls that write haiku.
Or a doll that shits itself.
It's all samey same.
Chinese workers lack
any sense of comedy;
they're much too tired.
by df -- whipping those lazy factory gooks into shape of Oh, no, was that racist!
Petting zoo shut down
They only had one aardvark
That's not an aardvark....
by Anonymous Poet
Poems on my dink
I wrote them on post it notes
Got extra sticky
by Poetry of Everywhere
Who reads your poems?
Who reads your poems, I asked?
Who reads your poems
by Anonymous Poet
"Block User" feature:
If only this site had one.
Time for block party!
by Guess Who I Would Block?
Life long erection
Searing pain without relief
Cursed by witches
by Cur sed of I said I said I said
I checked the account
There has been no deposit
Canadian Tired
by Anonymous Poet
Rotisserie spit
Developing a fine glaze
My first human roast
by Maniacal of Laughter
Saturation point
Apartment dwellers below
Notice drops of blood
by Serial Killer of 2nd floor note to self next time basement suite
Art class nude model
Red faced with embarrassment
Shriveling penis
by Just can't stand still
During a blow job
Are you supposed to breathe out
Or do you inhale
by Confused
