Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 136 Days and 76970 Haiku later...

Submitting haiku
while sitting on the toilet.
Premature poem.
Haiku # 62223, February 15, 2019 8:07 pm ET
by Lord Figpucker
You ?
Haiku # 62222, February 15, 2019 8:06 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I
Haiku # 62221, February 15, 2019 7:36 pm ET
by Dorks of Yesteryear of Dorking
There is seriously
a chicken breed called "dorking".
It's like destiny.

Technically dorks
are the penises of whales.
And haiku poets.

And fans of Star Trek,
but that is too obvious.
Beam me fucking up.

A world without Spock
is an ugly world indeed.
Not one for old nerds.
Haiku # 62220, February 15, 2019 5:15 pm ET
by Lord Figpucker
You don't like it here.
Go make "good haiku dot com".
And you will find peace.
Haiku # 62219, February 15, 2019 5:03 pm ET
by Lord Figpucker The Wise (Ass)
God, sometimes this site
is instantly appalling.
Why did I check here?
Haiku # 62218, February 15, 2019 4:18 pm ET
by Can't Stop the Haiku Habit
The Dorking chickens
are the oldest chicken breed,
not what rednecks do.

Well, maybe that too.
I mean, dorking a chicken
on a Friday night.

For example:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B7_GNgfzRvo
Haiku # 62217, February 15, 2019 11:20 am ET
by Lord Figpucker, The Highly Inappropriate
In a perfect world
Googling for giant cocks
would show me roosters.
Haiku # 62216, February 15, 2019 11:06 am ET
by Dora the Explorer of Shocked and appalled.
Again and again
I'm so tired but I can't stop
I love Sudoku
Haiku # 62215, February 15, 2019 6:17 am ET
by Number 1 of High Tide
Ready for this weekend and I'm just going through a series of events that led to the point where I am.
Haiku # 62214, February 15, 2019 12:23 am ET
by That's about it of Here
I'm not sure how much I love you. I love my new phone case and I love the way I look. Yeah but the best thing about it is the whistles and catcalls I love it
Haiku # 62213, February 15, 2019 12:21 am ET
by Juicy
Please pleases the first half of the day after a long time no talk of this page and the first half of the day before I get a new song and the other side of the day I will be in my room and my friends are so many people in my head and I have to be able to get the chance to win a championship game against the yen
Haiku # 62212, February 15, 2019 12:19 am ET
by Overheard
please don't mind my limp
Will you please sign my peniscast?
Firm signature, please
Haiku # 62211, February 15, 2019 12:17 am ET
by Press Down of Harder
We struggled downstairs
Trying to choke each other
Tried to get in a punch
Haiku # 62210, February 14, 2019 11:48 pm ET
by Fighters of Downstairs
Little underwear
With a chance of parting cheeks
A release of brown wind
Haiku # 62209, February 14, 2019 11:45 pm ET
by Fart Report of Back Door
oh, the kind you buy
in a second hand store, wow
collectors item...
Haiku # 62208, February 14, 2019 11:18 pm ET
by vhs
Raspberry Beret
It must be the ghost of Prince
Prince Rogers Nelson
Haiku # 62207, February 14, 2019 11:09 pm ET
by Little Red Corvette of Purple Cloud
what the hell are you doing in
my fucking underwear?
Haiku # 62206, February 14, 2019 11:01 pm ET
by vhs
The kind that lives in
your underwear. Note that I
said yours and not mine.
Haiku # 62205, February 14, 2019 10:56 pm ET
by df
i always enjoy
blood coming out of the walls
no, that.s...raspberry???

what fucking demon causes raspberry syrup to flow from the walls?
Haiku # 62204, February 14, 2019 10:39 pm ET
by vhs
And the next morning
Hair was growing on the walls
The doorknobs were missing
Haiku # 62203, February 14, 2019 10:27 pm ET
by Mysterio
and here we are years
later still posting haikus...

sometimes, a bit more
Haiku # 62202, February 14, 2019 10:08 pm ET
by vhs
Found an Easter egg.
Wonder if it is still good.
One way to find out.
Haiku # 62201, February 14, 2019 8:41 pm ET
by The Daring Lord Figpucker
Hey, if you're lonely
I got some smooches for ya
John Boy Walton's Mole
Haiku # 62200, February 14, 2019 6:15 pm ET
by Looking Fly of Upper cheek
mmhmm, i feel too
flushed to flush because those jokes
all went down the drain
Haiku # 62199, February 14, 2019 5:38 pm ET
by vhs
And all In one go
A heart shaped bowel movement
Pity to flush it
Haiku # 62198, February 14, 2019 5:18 pm ET
by Regular person of Gone to the John
Wanna know what love is..
I want you to show me
wahoooogaaaaaaaahhh yaaYaaaaah
Haiku # 62197, February 14, 2019 2:57 pm ET
by Bigfoot
Thinking about Love
'Cause that's what it's all about
Then I stepped in poop
Haiku # 62196, February 14, 2019 2:39 pm ET
by Distracted of Love potion #2
It's all about Love.
Love,Love,Love,Love,Love... oh wait--
almost forgot God.
Haiku # 62195, February 14, 2019 10:17 am ET
by Industrialized Holidays of Doom
How do I know this?
WahooooooooGahhhhhhh Ya Ya
Gross Dripping sounds
Haiku # 62194, February 14, 2019 2:03 am ET
by Are we having fun yeti? of Sticky Situation
When Bigfoot gets laid
Lusty moans reverberate
Trees gush sap comeload
Haiku # 62193, February 14, 2019 1:30 am ET
by Grizz of Forest
You should hear it
My Michael MacDonald voice
I look like Bigfoot
Haiku # 62192, February 13, 2019 10:54 pm ET
by I tell you of Stoned AF like Jelly Roll too
mississippi moon, wont you
keep on shining on me
Haiku # 62191, February 13, 2019 10:50 pm ET
by vhs
mississippi moon, wont you
keep on shining on me
Haiku # 62190, February 13, 2019 10:49 pm ET
by vhs
By "higher" I mean stoned out of your fucking gourd.
Haiku # 62189, February 13, 2019 10:47 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
to higher dimensions
Haiku # 62188, February 13, 2019 10:46 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
a gateway
Haiku # 62187, February 13, 2019 10:46 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
is a door
Haiku # 62186, February 13, 2019 10:45 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
That jar
Haiku # 62185, February 13, 2019 10:45 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
This can
Haiku # 62184, February 13, 2019 10:45 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
all your tweets are belong to us
Haiku # 62183, February 13, 2019 10:29 pm ET
by vhs
That can
Haiku # 62182, February 13, 2019 9:24 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
That can... ??? Don't fall in
can like a dangling feces.
Kerplop. There it went.
Haiku # 62181, February 13, 2019 8:50 pm ET
by Lord Figpucker of Commands you to get a new computer or cell phone or whatever the hell you're using.
That can
Haiku # 62180, February 13, 2019 5:06 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Nothing to say here
That can
Haiku # 62179, February 13, 2019 5:05 pm ET
by Entrepreneurs of human manure of Shart Tank and baby shart doo doo doo dooo dooo
Pass ammunition
And Praise the Lord Figpucker
Let God sort it out
Haiku # 62178, February 13, 2019 3:25 pm ET
by Don of Be Happy
If you don't get V,
And you do not get the D,
You don't get VD.
Haiku # 62177, February 13, 2019 7:58 am ET
by Lord Figpucker of Happy VD day!
My fart's better than yoooor fart.
My fart's better than yours!
My fart's better 'cause it gets durian.
My fart's better than yours!

For a really good fart, durian and pomelo fruits combined! And if you're brave, add balot egg for some serious professional flatus. I haven't reached that level. Maybe if I get drunk enough.... but I'm not supposed to drink. Oh well. Maybe just once. worth the risk.
Haiku # 62176, February 13, 2019 6:17 am ET
by Lord Figpucker of Anything for better flatulence
Promise not to laugh
My fart is my best feature
Savory and sweet
Haiku # 62175, February 13, 2019 2:48 am ET
by A work of fart of Hanging in the loo
Low flying saucer
Look! Green alien, JoJo
Hurling rotten eggs
Haiku # 62174, February 13, 2019 2:44 am ET
by I'm telling
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