Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 40 Days and 77431 Haiku later...

This can
Haiku # 62184, February 13, 2019 10:45 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
all your tweets are belong to us
Haiku # 62183, February 13, 2019 10:29 pm ET
by vhs
That can
Haiku # 62182, February 13, 2019 9:24 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
That can... ??? Don't fall in
can like a dangling feces.
Kerplop. There it went.
Haiku # 62181, February 13, 2019 8:50 pm ET
by Lord Figpucker of Commands you to get a new computer or cell phone or whatever the hell you're using.
That can
Haiku # 62180, February 13, 2019 5:06 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Nothing to say here
That can
Haiku # 62179, February 13, 2019 5:05 pm ET
by Entrepreneurs of human manure of Shart Tank and baby shart doo doo doo dooo dooo
Pass ammunition
And Praise the Lord Figpucker
Let God sort it out
Haiku # 62178, February 13, 2019 3:25 pm ET
by Don of Be Happy
If you don't get V,
And you do not get the D,
You don't get VD.
Haiku # 62177, February 13, 2019 7:58 am ET
by Lord Figpucker of Happy VD day!
My fart's better than yoooor fart.
My fart's better than yours!
My fart's better 'cause it gets durian.
My fart's better than yours!

For a really good fart, durian and pomelo fruits combined! And if you're brave, add balot egg for some serious professional flatus. I haven't reached that level. Maybe if I get drunk enough.... but I'm not supposed to drink. Oh well. Maybe just once. worth the risk.
Haiku # 62176, February 13, 2019 6:17 am ET
by Lord Figpucker of Anything for better flatulence
Promise not to laugh
My fart is my best feature
Savory and sweet
Haiku # 62175, February 13, 2019 2:48 am ET
by A work of fart of Hanging in the loo
Low flying saucer
Look! Green alien, JoJo
Hurling rotten eggs
Haiku # 62174, February 13, 2019 2:44 am ET
by I'm telling
Santorum harvest
Hark! The Skinflute whistle blows
Work, Oompa Loompas!
Haiku # 62173, February 13, 2019 12:35 am ET
by Undercover Boss of Wonka
Velveeta cheese food.
Hydrogenated butt lube.
Processed santorum.

Trump hair yellow dye.
Disodium mastearbate.
One percent cheddar.
Haiku # 62172, February 13, 2019 12:24 am ET
by Lord Figpucker
Baloney sandwich
Stuck to the roof of my house
The seagulls will feast
Haiku # 62171, February 12, 2019 11:54 pm ET
by Clumsy of Pacific Northwest
I said have not gave usomnofabiotch
Haiku # 62170, February 12, 2019 11:51 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
My, how you gave grown
Those penis enlargement pills
But aren't they for men?
Haiku # 62169, February 12, 2019 11:51 pm ET
by Clitorisaurus of Yourasskicked Park
I pee in the streets
Make zig zag pattern and swirls
I just might be drunk
Haiku # 62168, February 12, 2019 11:14 pm ET
by drunk of Fell off barstool
all your shitholes are belong to us

chinese communist infiltration?
Haiku # 62167, February 12, 2019 10:20 pm ET
by vhs
I can
Haiku # 62166, February 12, 2019 9:14 pm ET
by Upside of Everything
Substandard living.
Flies, mosquitoes, rotting filth,
ugly prostitutes.

They talk a good speech
in the land of hypocrites.
Ethics and Morals.

They pee in the streets,
Crazy people walk naked,
You can't jog shirtless!
Haiku # 62165, February 12, 2019 8:54 pm ET
by df
all your pigfuckers are belong to us
Haiku # 62164, February 12, 2019 8:53 pm ET
by vhs
But only that once!
being right once in your life...
each dog has its day.

But that was not nice.
Comparing trump to a dog.
Dogs are not that bad.

They make a great stew!
Can't say I'd want to eat trump.
That's for Russian whores.

And you're incorrect.
I am not into shit holes.
Only shit poems.
Haiku # 62163, February 12, 2019 8:45 pm ET
by Shit shit shit and more shit.
Figpucker admits
Regarding his favorite hole:
Donald Trump was RIGHT !
Haiku # 62162, February 12, 2019 8:21 pm ET
by I Cannot Believe My
Recycle chopstick
Use as tool pick nose.Pick ass
Picasso! Paintbrush
Haiku # 62161, February 12, 2019 8:12 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Speaking of Buddha
Walk to store for loaf of bread
Come back Enlightened

He went to Hooters
Blew his whole wad at the joint
Felt 10 pounds lighter
Haiku # 62160, February 12, 2019 7:59 pm ET
by Booder
I think I'm jealous
of the man who married the
pillowcase. Sexy!
Haiku # 62159, February 12, 2019 6:12 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
So, if Buddha left
his wife and kids to become
"enlightened"... well then...
Haiku # 62158, February 12, 2019 6:11 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
"Fresh" and "Philippines"
do not belong together.
Nothing stays fresh here.

Refrigeration?
Newfangled electronics.
That's for rich people!

Donald Trump was right
when he said "shit hole countries".
But only that once.
Haiku # 62157, February 12, 2019 6:08 pm ET
by Garth Pigfucker
Sad boy lonely man
He married a pillowcase
Everyone else laugh
Haiku # 62156, February 12, 2019 5:06 pm ET
by Someone else of Laughing
Hospital for dolls
Mistreated by rough perverts
Inflatable babes
Haiku # 62155, February 12, 2019 5:04 pm ET
by Air Blower of Nozzle
Real kung fu is bad.
It can kill with either hand.
But not what you think.

Kill the beer belly
And the deep dark depression
And the feeling sloth.
Haiku # 62154, February 12, 2019 4:36 pm ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
That God Almighty
He plays favorites dontcha think?
He like you better
Haiku # 62153, February 12, 2019 11:54 am ET
by That ain't saying much of Smote Avoider
Mini Lunchables
Made with fresh Fromunda Cheese
From the Phillipines
Haiku # 62152, February 12, 2019 11:52 am ET
by They love potato stix too
My cock scabs flake off.
Add salt and call them jerky.
Perfect school lunch snack.
Haiku # 62151, February 12, 2019 9:17 am ET
by Boo!
all your haikus are belong to us
Haiku # 62150, February 12, 2019 8:33 am ET
by vhs
My haiku's are bad
Much worse than your are joker
Try to prove me wrong

You have to suffer
If you want to sing the blues
Same thing with haikus
Haiku # 62149, February 12, 2019 6:17 am ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
Some day you will go
Where no one can follow you
You win the big prize!
Haiku # 62148, February 12, 2019 6:08 am ET
by Shadow Rat of Lodi
Las Vegas buffet
Inconceivable crab legs
Shared unshellfishly
Haiku # 62147, February 11, 2019 10:44 pm ET
by Nice Guy of Vegas
The snowman won't melt
Like Everest ornaments
Garden gnome grotesque
Haiku # 62146, February 11, 2019 10:37 pm ET
by Conversation piece of Redrum
well if you have some
one chase you about hotel
haunted...they might just

be all work and no
play make jaaack...go crazy man
i think he was mad

about the chicken salad......sandwich...
Haiku # 62145, February 11, 2019 8:19 pm ET
by vhs
Father stood outside
Admiring the fresh snowfall
Found his corpse that Spring
Haiku # 62144, February 11, 2019 8:08 pm ET
by Gone daddy-o
They took to the streets
High on fructose corn syrup
The day the dead walked
Haiku # 62143, February 11, 2019 7:53 pm ET
by Morning People of Running
say what he says what
then whut then who then word
up and down around
Haiku # 62142, February 11, 2019 7:42 pm ET
by vhs
Lay it on the line
Let's what you've got in there
Haikuvian brain
Haiku # 62141, February 11, 2019 7:01 pm ET
by Show it of Bend over and show it
They are still working
On my fooking hut gawd damn!
They are damn useless

Can't do the job jerks
totally incompetent dorks
you are fired! chit birds!
Haiku # 62140, February 11, 2019 6:54 pm ET
by Rude hovel dweller of Black Duck Mn.
Abort Socialism.
Behold my brave new slogan:
ABORT SOCIALISM!
Haiku # 62139, February 11, 2019 5:01 pm ET
by Aldous Orwell of Haiku Animal Farm
Cephalopod Toss
Big tsunami wave don't care
8 arms in the air
Haiku # 62138, February 11, 2019 2:52 pm ET
by Give it up for Bruno Mars of 24 K magic
I am Starkitten
I am the one and only
I am Starkitten
Haiku # 62137, February 11, 2019 2:49 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
i dont give a shit
about pc dickbags. theyre too
confused about me
Haiku # 62136, February 11, 2019 8:40 am ET
by vhs
rage with not against
the wall of shitposting it
all falls down down... down

its badhaiku...ok?
Haiku # 62135, February 11, 2019 8:39 am ET
by vhs
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