BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
22 Years
307 Days
and
65938 Haikus
later...
That can
Haiku #62180, by Anonymous Poet
February 13, 2019 5:06 pm ET

Nothing to say here
That can
Haiku #62179, by Entrepreneurs of human manure of Shart Tank and baby shart doo doo doo dooo dooo
February 13, 2019 5:05 pm ET

Pass ammunition
And Praise the Lord Figpucker
Let God sort it out
Haiku #62178, by Don of Be Happy
February 13, 2019 3:25 pm ET

If you don't get V,
And you do not get the D,
You don't get VD.
Haiku #62177, by Lord Figpucker of Happy VD day!
February 13, 2019 7:58 am ET

My fart's better than yoooor fart.
My fart's better than yours!
My fart's better 'cause it gets durian.
My fart's better than yours!

For a really good fart, durian and pomelo fruits combined! And if you're brave, add balot egg for some serious professional flatus. I haven't reached that level. Maybe if I get drunk enough.... but I'm not supposed to drink. Oh well. Maybe just once. worth the risk.
Haiku #62176, by Lord Figpucker of Anything for better flatulence
February 13, 2019 6:17 am ET

Promise not to laugh
My fart is my best feature
Savory and sweet
Haiku #62175, by A work of fart of Hanging in the loo
February 13, 2019 2:48 am ET

Low flying saucer
Look! Green alien, JoJo
Hurling rotten eggs
Haiku #62174, by I'm telling
February 13, 2019 2:44 am ET

Santorum harvest
Hark! The Skinflute whistle blows
Work, Oompa Loompas!
Haiku #62173, by Undercover Boss of Wonka
February 13, 2019 12:35 am ET

Velveeta cheese food.
Hydrogenated butt lube.
Processed santorum.

Trump hair yellow dye.
Disodium mastearbate.
One percent cheddar.
Haiku #62172, by Lord Figpucker
February 13, 2019 12:24 am ET

Baloney sandwich
Stuck to the roof of my house
The seagulls will feast
Haiku #62171, by Clumsy of Pacific Northwest
February 12, 2019 11:54 pm ET

I said have not gave usomnofabiotch
Haiku #62170, by Anonymous Poet
February 12, 2019 11:51 pm ET

My, how you gave grown
Those penis enlargement pills
But aren't they for men?
Haiku #62169, by Clitorisaurus of Yourasskicked Park
February 12, 2019 11:51 pm ET

I pee in the streets
Make zig zag pattern and swirls
I just might be drunk
Haiku #62168, by drunk of Fell off barstool
February 12, 2019 11:14 pm ET

all your shitholes are belong to us

chinese communist infiltration?
Haiku #62167, by vhs
February 12, 2019 10:20 pm ET

I can
Haiku #62166, by Upside of Everything
February 12, 2019 9:14 pm ET

Substandard living.
Flies, mosquitoes, rotting filth,
ugly prostitutes.

They talk a good speech
in the land of hypocrites.
Ethics and Morals.

They pee in the streets,
Crazy people walk naked,
You can't jog shirtless!
Haiku #62165, by df
February 12, 2019 8:54 pm ET

all your pigfuckers are belong to us
Haiku #62164, by vhs
February 12, 2019 8:53 pm ET

But only that once!
being right once in your life...
each dog has its day.

But that was not nice.
Comparing trump to a dog.
Dogs are not that bad.

They make a great stew!
Can't say I'd want to eat trump.
That's for Russian whores.

And you're incorrect.
I am not into shit holes.
Only shit poems.
Haiku #62163, by Shit shit shit and more shit.
February 12, 2019 8:45 pm ET

Figpucker admits
Regarding his favorite hole:
Donald Trump was RIGHT !
Haiku #62162, by I Cannot Believe My
February 12, 2019 8:21 pm ET

Recycle chopstick
Use as tool pick nose.Pick ass
Picasso! Paintbrush
Haiku #62161, by Anonymous Poet
February 12, 2019 8:12 pm ET

Speaking of Buddha
Walk to store for loaf of bread
Come back Enlightened

He went to Hooters
Blew his whole wad at the joint
Felt 10 pounds lighter
Haiku #62160, by Booder
February 12, 2019 7:59 pm ET

I think I'm jealous
of the man who married the
pillowcase. Sexy!
Haiku #62159, by Anonymous Poet
February 12, 2019 6:12 pm ET

So, if Buddha left
his wife and kids to become
"enlightened"... well then...
Haiku #62158, by Anonymous Poet
February 12, 2019 6:11 pm ET

"Fresh" and "Philippines"
do not belong together.
Nothing stays fresh here.

Refrigeration?
Newfangled electronics.
That's for rich people!

Donald Trump was right
when he said "shit hole countries".
But only that once.
Haiku #62157, by Garth Pigfucker
February 12, 2019 6:08 pm ET

Sad boy lonely man
He married a pillowcase
Everyone else laugh
Haiku #62156, by Someone else of Laughing
February 12, 2019 5:06 pm ET

Hospital for dolls
Mistreated by rough perverts
Inflatable babes
Haiku #62155, by Air Blower of Nozzle
February 12, 2019 5:04 pm ET

Real kung fu is bad.
It can kill with either hand.
But not what you think.

Kill the beer belly
And the deep dark depression
And the feeling sloth.
Haiku #62154, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
February 12, 2019 4:36 pm ET

That God Almighty
He plays favorites dontcha think?
He like you better
Haiku #62153, by That ain't saying much of Smote Avoider
February 12, 2019 11:54 am ET

Mini Lunchables
Made with fresh Fromunda Cheese
From the Phillipines
Haiku #62152, by They love potato stix too
February 12, 2019 11:52 am ET

My cock scabs flake off.
Add salt and call them jerky.
Perfect school lunch snack.
Haiku #62151, by Boo!
February 12, 2019 9:17 am ET

all your haikus are belong to us
Haiku #62150, by vhs
February 12, 2019 8:33 am ET

My haiku's are bad
Much worse than your are joker
Try to prove me wrong

You have to suffer
If you want to sing the blues
Same thing with haikus
Haiku #62149, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
February 12, 2019 6:17 am ET

Some day you will go
Where no one can follow you
You win the big prize!
Haiku #62148, by Shadow Rat of Lodi
February 12, 2019 6:08 am ET

Las Vegas buffet
Inconceivable crab legs
Shared unshellfishly
Haiku #62147, by Nice Guy of Vegas
February 11, 2019 10:44 pm ET

The snowman won't melt
Like Everest ornaments
Garden gnome grotesque
Haiku #62146, by Conversation piece of Redrum
February 11, 2019 10:37 pm ET

well if you have some
one chase you about hotel
haunted...they might just

be all work and no
play make jaaack...go crazy man
i think he was mad

about the chicken salad......sandwich...
Haiku #62145, by vhs
February 11, 2019 8:19 pm ET

Father stood outside
Admiring the fresh snowfall
Found his corpse that Spring
Haiku #62144, by Gone daddy-o
February 11, 2019 8:08 pm ET

They took to the streets
High on fructose corn syrup
The day the dead walked
Haiku #62143, by Morning People of Running
February 11, 2019 7:53 pm ET

say what he says what
then whut then who then word
up and down around
Haiku #62142, by vhs
February 11, 2019 7:42 pm ET

Lay it on the line
Let's what you've got in there
Haikuvian brain
Haiku #62141, by Show it of Bend over and show it
February 11, 2019 7:01 pm ET

They are still working
On my fooking hut gawd damn!
They are damn useless

Can't do the job jerks
totally incompetent dorks
you are fired! chit birds!
Haiku #62140, by Rude hovel dweller of Black Duck Mn.
February 11, 2019 6:54 pm ET

Abort Socialism.
Behold my brave new slogan:
ABORT SOCIALISM!
Haiku #62139, by Aldous Orwell of Haiku Animal Farm
February 11, 2019 5:01 pm ET

Cephalopod Toss
Big tsunami wave don't care
8 arms in the air
Haiku #62138, by Give it up for Bruno Mars of 24 K magic
February 11, 2019 2:52 pm ET

I am Starkitten
I am the one and only
I am Starkitten
Haiku #62137, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
February 11, 2019 2:49 pm ET

i dont give a shit
about pc dickbags. theyre too
confused about me
Haiku #62136, by vhs
February 11, 2019 8:40 am ET

rage with not against
the wall of shitposting it
all falls down down... down

its badhaiku...ok?
Haiku #62135, by vhs
February 11, 2019 8:39 am ET

I also struggle
with rage against bad haiku.
And I'm the problem!
Haiku #62134, by Rage Against the Bad Haiku Machine
February 11, 2019 8:06 am ET

Popping big pimples
First job flipping grease burgers humping everything
Haiku #62133, by Roger Daltrey of Talking bout my macular degeneration
February 11, 2019 3:57 am ET

No time for kissing
Texts to text. Facebook to check have a emoji
Haiku #62132, by Man whom married a pillowcase of Bedroom
February 11, 2019 3:53 am ET

She kissed my cheek
Then ran out to my old car
Said, "I am sorry."

"Sorry I did that"
Even a friendly cheek peck
Is verboten now.

I thought to myself
even the women are scared
of harmless friendship

PC destruction
Of human interaction
will come back to you.
Haiku #62131, by Revolted Counter Revolutionary of Moscow Idaho
February 11, 2019 1:58 am ET