Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 40 Days and 77431 Haiku later...

and here we are years
later still posting haikus...

sometimes, a bit more
Haiku # 62202, February 14, 2019 10:08 pm ET
by vhs
Found an Easter egg.
Wonder if it is still good.
One way to find out.
Haiku # 62201, February 14, 2019 8:41 pm ET
by The Daring Lord Figpucker
Hey, if you're lonely
I got some smooches for ya
John Boy Walton's Mole
Haiku # 62200, February 14, 2019 6:15 pm ET
by Looking Fly of Upper cheek
mmhmm, i feel too
flushed to flush because those jokes
all went down the drain
Haiku # 62199, February 14, 2019 5:38 pm ET
by vhs
And all In one go
A heart shaped bowel movement
Pity to flush it
Haiku # 62198, February 14, 2019 5:18 pm ET
by Regular person of Gone to the John
Wanna know what love is..
I want you to show me
wahoooogaaaaaaaahhh yaaYaaaaah
Haiku # 62197, February 14, 2019 2:57 pm ET
by Bigfoot
Thinking about Love
'Cause that's what it's all about
Then I stepped in poop
Haiku # 62196, February 14, 2019 2:39 pm ET
by Distracted of Love potion #2
It's all about Love.
Love,Love,Love,Love,Love... oh wait--
almost forgot God.
Haiku # 62195, February 14, 2019 10:17 am ET
by Industrialized Holidays of Doom
How do I know this?
WahooooooooGahhhhhhh Ya Ya
Gross Dripping sounds
Haiku # 62194, February 14, 2019 2:03 am ET
by Are we having fun yeti? of Sticky Situation
When Bigfoot gets laid
Lusty moans reverberate
Trees gush sap comeload
Haiku # 62193, February 14, 2019 1:30 am ET
by Grizz of Forest
You should hear it
My Michael MacDonald voice
I look like Bigfoot
Haiku # 62192, February 13, 2019 10:54 pm ET
by I tell you of Stoned AF like Jelly Roll too
mississippi moon, wont you
keep on shining on me
Haiku # 62191, February 13, 2019 10:50 pm ET
by vhs
mississippi moon, wont you
keep on shining on me
Haiku # 62190, February 13, 2019 10:49 pm ET
by vhs
By "higher" I mean stoned out of your fucking gourd.
Haiku # 62189, February 13, 2019 10:47 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
to higher dimensions
Haiku # 62188, February 13, 2019 10:46 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
a gateway
Haiku # 62187, February 13, 2019 10:46 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
is a door
Haiku # 62186, February 13, 2019 10:45 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
That jar
Haiku # 62185, February 13, 2019 10:45 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
This can
Haiku # 62184, February 13, 2019 10:45 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
all your tweets are belong to us
Haiku # 62183, February 13, 2019 10:29 pm ET
by vhs
That can
Haiku # 62182, February 13, 2019 9:24 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
That can... ??? Don't fall in
can like a dangling feces.
Kerplop. There it went.
Haiku # 62181, February 13, 2019 8:50 pm ET
by Lord Figpucker of Commands you to get a new computer or cell phone or whatever the hell you're using.
That can
Haiku # 62180, February 13, 2019 5:06 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Nothing to say here
That can
Haiku # 62179, February 13, 2019 5:05 pm ET
by Entrepreneurs of human manure of Shart Tank and baby shart doo doo doo dooo dooo
Pass ammunition
And Praise the Lord Figpucker
Let God sort it out
Haiku # 62178, February 13, 2019 3:25 pm ET
by Don of Be Happy
If you don't get V,
And you do not get the D,
You don't get VD.
Haiku # 62177, February 13, 2019 7:58 am ET
by Lord Figpucker of Happy VD day!
My fart's better than yoooor fart.
My fart's better than yours!
My fart's better 'cause it gets durian.
My fart's better than yours!

For a really good fart, durian and pomelo fruits combined! And if you're brave, add balot egg for some serious professional flatus. I haven't reached that level. Maybe if I get drunk enough.... but I'm not supposed to drink. Oh well. Maybe just once. worth the risk.
Haiku # 62176, February 13, 2019 6:17 am ET
by Lord Figpucker of Anything for better flatulence
Promise not to laugh
My fart is my best feature
Savory and sweet
Haiku # 62175, February 13, 2019 2:48 am ET
by A work of fart of Hanging in the loo
Low flying saucer
Look! Green alien, JoJo
Hurling rotten eggs
Haiku # 62174, February 13, 2019 2:44 am ET
by I'm telling
Santorum harvest
Hark! The Skinflute whistle blows
Work, Oompa Loompas!
Haiku # 62173, February 13, 2019 12:35 am ET
by Undercover Boss of Wonka
Velveeta cheese food.
Hydrogenated butt lube.
Processed santorum.

Trump hair yellow dye.
Disodium mastearbate.
One percent cheddar.
Haiku # 62172, February 13, 2019 12:24 am ET
by Lord Figpucker
Baloney sandwich
Stuck to the roof of my house
The seagulls will feast
Haiku # 62171, February 12, 2019 11:54 pm ET
by Clumsy of Pacific Northwest
I said have not gave usomnofabiotch
Haiku # 62170, February 12, 2019 11:51 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
My, how you gave grown
Those penis enlargement pills
But aren't they for men?
Haiku # 62169, February 12, 2019 11:51 pm ET
by Clitorisaurus of Yourasskicked Park
I pee in the streets
Make zig zag pattern and swirls
I just might be drunk
Haiku # 62168, February 12, 2019 11:14 pm ET
by drunk of Fell off barstool
all your shitholes are belong to us

chinese communist infiltration?
Haiku # 62167, February 12, 2019 10:20 pm ET
by vhs
I can
Haiku # 62166, February 12, 2019 9:14 pm ET
by Upside of Everything
Substandard living.
Flies, mosquitoes, rotting filth,
ugly prostitutes.

They talk a good speech
in the land of hypocrites.
Ethics and Morals.

They pee in the streets,
Crazy people walk naked,
You can't jog shirtless!
Haiku # 62165, February 12, 2019 8:54 pm ET
by df
all your pigfuckers are belong to us
Haiku # 62164, February 12, 2019 8:53 pm ET
by vhs
But only that once!
being right once in your life...
each dog has its day.

But that was not nice.
Comparing trump to a dog.
Dogs are not that bad.

They make a great stew!
Can't say I'd want to eat trump.
That's for Russian whores.

And you're incorrect.
I am not into shit holes.
Only shit poems.
Haiku # 62163, February 12, 2019 8:45 pm ET
by Shit shit shit and more shit.
Figpucker admits
Regarding his favorite hole:
Donald Trump was RIGHT !
Haiku # 62162, February 12, 2019 8:21 pm ET
by I Cannot Believe My
Recycle chopstick
Use as tool pick nose.Pick ass
Picasso! Paintbrush
Haiku # 62161, February 12, 2019 8:12 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Speaking of Buddha
Walk to store for loaf of bread
Come back Enlightened

He went to Hooters
Blew his whole wad at the joint
Felt 10 pounds lighter
Haiku # 62160, February 12, 2019 7:59 pm ET
by Booder
I think I'm jealous
of the man who married the
pillowcase. Sexy!
Haiku # 62159, February 12, 2019 6:12 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
So, if Buddha left
his wife and kids to become
"enlightened"... well then...
Haiku # 62158, February 12, 2019 6:11 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
"Fresh" and "Philippines"
do not belong together.
Nothing stays fresh here.

Refrigeration?
Newfangled electronics.
That's for rich people!

Donald Trump was right
when he said "shit hole countries".
But only that once.
Haiku # 62157, February 12, 2019 6:08 pm ET
by Garth Pigfucker
Sad boy lonely man
He married a pillowcase
Everyone else laugh
Haiku # 62156, February 12, 2019 5:06 pm ET
by Someone else of Laughing
Hospital for dolls
Mistreated by rough perverts
Inflatable babes
Haiku # 62155, February 12, 2019 5:04 pm ET
by Air Blower of Nozzle
Real kung fu is bad.
It can kill with either hand.
But not what you think.

Kill the beer belly
And the deep dark depression
And the feeling sloth.
Haiku # 62154, February 12, 2019 4:36 pm ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
That God Almighty
He plays favorites dontcha think?
He like you better
Haiku # 62153, February 12, 2019 11:54 am ET
by That ain't saying much of Smote Avoider
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