Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 40 Days and 77431 Haiku later...

Ready for this weekend and I'm just going through a series of events that led to the point where I am.
Haiku # 62214, February 15, 2019 12:23 am ET
by That's about it of Here
I'm not sure how much I love you. I love my new phone case and I love the way I look. Yeah but the best thing about it is the whistles and catcalls I love it
Haiku # 62213, February 15, 2019 12:21 am ET
by Juicy
Please pleases the first half of the day after a long time no talk of this page and the first half of the day before I get a new song and the other side of the day I will be in my room and my friends are so many people in my head and I have to be able to get the chance to win a championship game against the yen
Haiku # 62212, February 15, 2019 12:19 am ET
by Overheard
please don't mind my limp
Will you please sign my peniscast?
Firm signature, please
Haiku # 62211, February 15, 2019 12:17 am ET
by Press Down of Harder
We struggled downstairs
Trying to choke each other
Tried to get in a punch
Haiku # 62210, February 14, 2019 11:48 pm ET
by Fighters of Downstairs
Little underwear
With a chance of parting cheeks
A release of brown wind
Haiku # 62209, February 14, 2019 11:45 pm ET
by Fart Report of Back Door
oh, the kind you buy
in a second hand store, wow
collectors item...
Haiku # 62208, February 14, 2019 11:18 pm ET
by vhs
Raspberry Beret
It must be the ghost of Prince
Prince Rogers Nelson
Haiku # 62207, February 14, 2019 11:09 pm ET
by Little Red Corvette of Purple Cloud
what the hell are you doing in
my fucking underwear?
Haiku # 62206, February 14, 2019 11:01 pm ET
by vhs
The kind that lives in
your underwear. Note that I
said yours and not mine.
Haiku # 62205, February 14, 2019 10:56 pm ET
by df
i always enjoy
blood coming out of the walls
no, that.s...raspberry???

what fucking demon causes raspberry syrup to flow from the walls?
Haiku # 62204, February 14, 2019 10:39 pm ET
by vhs
And the next morning
Hair was growing on the walls
The doorknobs were missing
Haiku # 62203, February 14, 2019 10:27 pm ET
by Mysterio
and here we are years
later still posting haikus...

sometimes, a bit more
Haiku # 62202, February 14, 2019 10:08 pm ET
by vhs
Found an Easter egg.
Wonder if it is still good.
One way to find out.
Haiku # 62201, February 14, 2019 8:41 pm ET
by The Daring Lord Figpucker
Hey, if you're lonely
I got some smooches for ya
John Boy Walton's Mole
Haiku # 62200, February 14, 2019 6:15 pm ET
by Looking Fly of Upper cheek
mmhmm, i feel too
flushed to flush because those jokes
all went down the drain
Haiku # 62199, February 14, 2019 5:38 pm ET
by vhs
And all In one go
A heart shaped bowel movement
Pity to flush it
Haiku # 62198, February 14, 2019 5:18 pm ET
by Regular person of Gone to the John
Wanna know what love is..
I want you to show me
wahoooogaaaaaaaahhh yaaYaaaaah
Haiku # 62197, February 14, 2019 2:57 pm ET
by Bigfoot
Thinking about Love
'Cause that's what it's all about
Then I stepped in poop
Haiku # 62196, February 14, 2019 2:39 pm ET
by Distracted of Love potion #2
It's all about Love.
Love,Love,Love,Love,Love... oh wait--
almost forgot God.
Haiku # 62195, February 14, 2019 10:17 am ET
by Industrialized Holidays of Doom
How do I know this?
WahooooooooGahhhhhhh Ya Ya
Gross Dripping sounds
Haiku # 62194, February 14, 2019 2:03 am ET
by Are we having fun yeti? of Sticky Situation
When Bigfoot gets laid
Lusty moans reverberate
Trees gush sap comeload
Haiku # 62193, February 14, 2019 1:30 am ET
by Grizz of Forest
You should hear it
My Michael MacDonald voice
I look like Bigfoot
Haiku # 62192, February 13, 2019 10:54 pm ET
by I tell you of Stoned AF like Jelly Roll too
mississippi moon, wont you
keep on shining on me
Haiku # 62191, February 13, 2019 10:50 pm ET
by vhs
mississippi moon, wont you
keep on shining on me
Haiku # 62190, February 13, 2019 10:49 pm ET
by vhs
By "higher" I mean stoned out of your fucking gourd.
Haiku # 62189, February 13, 2019 10:47 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
to higher dimensions
Haiku # 62188, February 13, 2019 10:46 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
a gateway
Haiku # 62187, February 13, 2019 10:46 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
is a door
Haiku # 62186, February 13, 2019 10:45 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
That jar
Haiku # 62185, February 13, 2019 10:45 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
This can
Haiku # 62184, February 13, 2019 10:45 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
all your tweets are belong to us
Haiku # 62183, February 13, 2019 10:29 pm ET
by vhs
That can
Haiku # 62182, February 13, 2019 9:24 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
That can... ??? Don't fall in
can like a dangling feces.
Kerplop. There it went.
Haiku # 62181, February 13, 2019 8:50 pm ET
by Lord Figpucker of Commands you to get a new computer or cell phone or whatever the hell you're using.
That can
Haiku # 62180, February 13, 2019 5:06 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Nothing to say here
That can
Haiku # 62179, February 13, 2019 5:05 pm ET
by Entrepreneurs of human manure of Shart Tank and baby shart doo doo doo dooo dooo
Pass ammunition
And Praise the Lord Figpucker
Let God sort it out
Haiku # 62178, February 13, 2019 3:25 pm ET
by Don of Be Happy
If you don't get V,
And you do not get the D,
You don't get VD.
Haiku # 62177, February 13, 2019 7:58 am ET
by Lord Figpucker of Happy VD day!
My fart's better than yoooor fart.
My fart's better than yours!
My fart's better 'cause it gets durian.
My fart's better than yours!

For a really good fart, durian and pomelo fruits combined! And if you're brave, add balot egg for some serious professional flatus. I haven't reached that level. Maybe if I get drunk enough.... but I'm not supposed to drink. Oh well. Maybe just once. worth the risk.
Haiku # 62176, February 13, 2019 6:17 am ET
by Lord Figpucker of Anything for better flatulence
Promise not to laugh
My fart is my best feature
Savory and sweet
Haiku # 62175, February 13, 2019 2:48 am ET
by A work of fart of Hanging in the loo
Low flying saucer
Look! Green alien, JoJo
Hurling rotten eggs
Haiku # 62174, February 13, 2019 2:44 am ET
by I'm telling
Santorum harvest
Hark! The Skinflute whistle blows
Work, Oompa Loompas!
Haiku # 62173, February 13, 2019 12:35 am ET
by Undercover Boss of Wonka
Velveeta cheese food.
Hydrogenated butt lube.
Processed santorum.

Trump hair yellow dye.
Disodium mastearbate.
One percent cheddar.
Haiku # 62172, February 13, 2019 12:24 am ET
by Lord Figpucker
Baloney sandwich
Stuck to the roof of my house
The seagulls will feast
Haiku # 62171, February 12, 2019 11:54 pm ET
by Clumsy of Pacific Northwest
I said have not gave usomnofabiotch
Haiku # 62170, February 12, 2019 11:51 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
My, how you gave grown
Those penis enlargement pills
But aren't they for men?
Haiku # 62169, February 12, 2019 11:51 pm ET
by Clitorisaurus of Yourasskicked Park
I pee in the streets
Make zig zag pattern and swirls
I just might be drunk
Haiku # 62168, February 12, 2019 11:14 pm ET
by drunk of Fell off barstool
all your shitholes are belong to us

chinese communist infiltration?
Haiku # 62167, February 12, 2019 10:20 pm ET
by vhs
I can
Haiku # 62166, February 12, 2019 9:14 pm ET
by Upside of Everything
Substandard living.
Flies, mosquitoes, rotting filth,
ugly prostitutes.

They talk a good speech
in the land of hypocrites.
Ethics and Morals.

They pee in the streets,
Crazy people walk naked,
You can't jog shirtless!
Haiku # 62165, February 12, 2019 8:54 pm ET
by df
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