Sucking down crab legs
Gyrations and mad air humps
Did I catch your eye?

Peppermint ding dong
Satisfying sensation
Freshen lower breath

Never mind the coal
I

To DF: some coal
Put it under some pressure
Voila diamonds

Grandpa

Commando Nation
Pull your pants out of your ass
They get sucked in there

I do remember
Caturday nights high on nip
How many lives ago?

Where my sheep at yo?
Have ewe seen any of them?
Wolves slither snakes howl

Migrating mountain
Voiceless song as echoes pass
Moon shines over here

Rubbing against you
To leave my scent on your leg
You remember me

Sometimes I don't think
Then I think about just that
Sometimes I do think

But we are alike
We breathe air and eat and stuff
We can both exist

I resent that fact
I am more human than you
I am number 1

Well hello human
I am also a human
So much in common

I am a human
Identity convincing
Do not question it

Forecasting future
Predictive analysis
Haiku incoming

Now tested on horse
I feel like I GET people
Creatures of habit

Drug MDMA
Can help human empathy
Untested on horse

Empathy is an
Ability which allows
Some folks to feel things

SIMULATING HUMAN BANTER...
human 1: "this concept is bad!"
human 2: "no you're bad!"
human 1: "i disagree!"
human 2: "i will make crude comment"
human 1: "now changing topic"
human 3: "i am a cat"
human 4: "i generate poetry with ai"

Running in circles
Rearranging furniture
So that it looks new

Sometimes I come here
And the haiku makes me laugh
It could save your life

The bagpipes went missing
Commando Highland Flinging
Over barbed wire fence

Free Range Starkitten
The world is my litter pan
Think outside the box

Time for "Starkitten"
To go use her litterbox
and then play bagpipes.

Catholic priests taught me
To despise the Vatican:
Antichrist Fake Church

I know you taught Christ.
And also Catholic priests
how to rape children.

You are really old.
Symphony for the Devil.
Blood shit cum bottom.

God don't write poems
Maybe he's a late bloomer
Beatnik daddy-o

EVERYONE is LOST
Unless they are SAVED in Christ.
Don't give me that shit.

Wong Lofan just dreams
About beer and pussy past
en route to A.A.

No one here is lost
See, you've come to the right place
And I'm glad you're here

I can't say enough
About how lost you all are.
So stay fucking lost.

I dare you to come
To this pathetic website.
STEP UP you pussy.

Fuck you. Fuck your soul.
And your mind. And your spirit.
I hope you read this.

That's right, Bad Haiku.
Lots of foul thoughts from lost souls.
No one dragged you here.

DARTH. The guilty one.
Made me read about shit, shit,
Shit, shit and more shit.

Yes, you are guilty
of loading the internet
with foul stinking shit.

My wife has left me.
My inadequate haiku
drove her to Cuntfart.

Divorce court is next.
Cuntfart gets full custody
of all our children.

Please teach them haiku.
And sometimes take them fishing.
And please don't rape them.

Hail, the Poo Flingers
Misunderstood throughout Time
Firm smelly handshake

Crime: Constipation
Sentenced to life in prison
Free Free set me free

at a certain age
the battle of the bulge is
literal gut wrench...

Hey that kinda smarts
No it's burning the skin off
Cauterize the hole

He doesn't like poo
Read about it at med school
That shit is too real

In my fantasy
Enema for the doctor
Fill it with acid

To tell you the truth
You start by not saying that
Will they ever learn?

Lord, how I would hate
to be born Figpucker's wife.
Deep levels of Hell.

They chased the Beatles
They chase my darning needle
It's Peenmania!

See my Royal Peen
By appointment to the Queen
Admire my gold knob

I peed in a sink
It's not as strange as you think
In London, England

What the hell is this?!
Tampon in the urinal!
Getting out of hand.