BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
23 Years
272 Days
67813 Haikus
He doesn't like poo
Read about it at med school
That shit is too real
Haiku #62034, by Observer of Idiots of This Emergency Room
February 8, 2019 6:57 pm ET

In my fantasy
Enema for the doctor
Fill it with acid
Haiku #62033, by Cat Raver of Rubber Room
February 8, 2019 6:27 pm ET

To tell you the truth
You start by not saying that
Will they ever learn?
Haiku #62032, by Liar of Liarsville
February 8, 2019 3:02 pm ET

Lord, how I would hate
to be born Figpucker's wife.
Deep levels of Hell.
Haiku #62031, by Does she like Haiku?
February 8, 2019 2:24 pm ET

They chased the Beatles
They chase my darning needle
It's Peenmania!
Haiku #62030, by Help! of Cavern Club (My wife's Cunt)
February 8, 2019 1:06 pm ET

See my Royal Peen
By appointment to the Queen
Admire my gold knob
Haiku #62029, by Gold Nob Bob of Look for the mob
February 8, 2019 1:04 pm ET

I peed in a sink
It's not as strange as you think
In London, England
Haiku #62028, by Downright Upright of Drinking a shandy outside the pub
February 8, 2019 1:02 pm ET

What the hell is this?!
Tampon in the urinal!
Getting out of hand.
Haiku #62027, by Transgender Substantiation Sanitation of I am toxic shocked!
February 8, 2019 9:59 am ET

We couldn
Haiku #62026, by On the run(s)
February 8, 2019 6:48 am ET

Remember Taiwan
Cold beer, warm girls, China seas
Shu lin kou station

Bought some green jade
And some yards of bright red silk
Carter you bastard!
Haiku #62025, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
February 8, 2019 6:02 am ET

How long has it been?
Since the last time I told you
Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt
Haiku #62024, by Cuntfish of cunt
February 7, 2019 11:32 pm ET

Aluminum foil
Useful to wrap leftovers
Not as toilet paper
Haiku #62023, by Anonymous Poet
February 7, 2019 9:19 pm ET

Ghost. Patrick Swayzee.
Can a ghost ejaculate?
Does the Bible say?
Haiku #62022, by Smote Avoider of No Smoting Zone
February 7, 2019 7:51 pm ET

Come together now
All are beings who make wind
Breathe it in. Rejoice!
Haiku #62021, by Anonymous Poet
February 7, 2019 7:48 pm ET

So are you white or
and why should we breathe?
Haiku #62020, by Reified Isms of Ontology
February 7, 2019 7:21 pm ET

It's Earth, Wind and Fire.
That's what I am composed of.
Go figure me out.
Haiku #62019, by Yo Funked-Up Mama of 1976
February 7, 2019 7:19 pm ET

So are you black or
African American
and why do you care?
Haiku #62018, by Anonymous Poet
February 7, 2019 7:05 pm ET

Miss America
You got your legs wide open
American Pie
Haiku #62017, by Jack Hornier of Not little
February 7, 2019 5:30 pm ET

Sick of the routine:
sneak into America;
so -- no loyalty.
Haiku #62016, by Sustainability of Borders
February 7, 2019 5:23 pm ET

Some immigrants good;
but some never learn English.
Only want Dollar.
Haiku #62015, by Ass of Imilation
February 7, 2019 5:16 pm ET

She won't use her hands
Greedy chopsticks grab penis
Banned from the restaurant
Haiku #62014, by Dim Sum of Chinatown
February 7, 2019 4:00 pm ET

Stamp Collecting (Nerd)
Tonga Banana Stamp (Nerd)
Nerd Nerd Nerd Nerd Nerd
Haiku #62013, by Nerd of Post Office
February 7, 2019 3:56 pm ET

Miss you look so hot
In that sexy qi pao dress!
Don't call your lawyer.

Just a compliment
From a beat up old bastard
Who likes sexy girls.

War between sexes
Seems damn silly-to me
We are all human.

No more fun joking
Harmless flirting riske' fun
Its a sad damn thing..
Haiku #62012, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
February 7, 2019 3:55 pm ET

Closet. Way in back.
MC Hammer's crazy pants
You can not touch them
Haiku #62011, by Me of Wayback
February 7, 2019 3:49 pm ET

Stale fortune cookie
Tasted it. Hard to swallow.
The texture is off
Haiku #62010, by Hungry of 20 minutes later
February 7, 2019 12:39 pm ET

Liberal women
talk talk talk talk talk talk talk...
and then keep talking.
Haiku #62009, by But Ann C. talks better
February 7, 2019 9:52 am ET

This page left intentionally blank.
Haiku #62008, by But now it's not blank. of Oh shit!
February 7, 2019 7:14 am ET

With that being said
With that being said fart fart
With that being said
Haiku #62007, by new law passed today of Must say before farting
February 7, 2019 5:18 am ET

Let the world end tonight
Will someone please pull the plug
Haiku #62006, by Done of Here
February 7, 2019 1:43 am ET

Readymade haiku
Just add water and voila
Bad Haiku Growbeast
Haiku #62005, by Junk of Made in China
February 7, 2019 1:38 am ET

For Valentine
Haiku #62004, by Flo of Mel
February 6, 2019 9:54 pm ET

Long winter evenings
Inches and centimeters
Measuring my Dong
Haiku #62003, by Big Mack of Whopper
February 6, 2019 9:50 pm ET

You ll be a millionaire
Haiku #62002, by Anonymous Poet
February 6, 2019 9:47 pm ET

Haiku #62001, by Anonymous Poet
February 6, 2019 9:22 pm ET

Haiku #62000, by Anonymous Poet
February 6, 2019 7:05 pm ET

Haiku #61999, by Anonymous Poet
February 6, 2019 6:55 pm ET

Dirty underwear
Will be the new currency
Haiku #61998, by Financial Advisor of Loot of the Fruit of the Loom
February 6, 2019 6:55 pm ET

He counts sheep
He owns a sleep number bed
A friend to count on
Haiku #61997, by Flintstone Kid of Ten million strong and growing
February 6, 2019 4:45 pm ET

Daydreaming. Digits.
The square root of flatulence
A beautiful mind
Haiku #61996, by Professor Beanfart of University of Pfffft
February 6, 2019 4:42 pm ET

He loved number two
Math problems were no problem
You can count on Darth!
Haiku #61995, by Go Figure of In the gall for snapping my gum
February 6, 2019 2:12 pm ET

Look, up in the sky:
it's Super Darth Figpucker.
(Back to shit and farts)
Haiku #61994, by Predictable Poetics of Peristalsis
February 6, 2019 9:55 am ET

How many cunts would
a Cuntfart fart if a cunt-
fart could fart cunts? Five.
Haiku #61993, by Cuntfart's cunt farts cunts
February 6, 2019 4:37 am ET

Peeking through keyholes
Listening in on phone calls
Perusing your mail
Haiku #61992, by Nosy of Your business
February 6, 2019 3:09 am ET

Don't mix up these two
Keep the piles separated
Shit and chocolate
Haiku #61991, by Organizational wizard
February 6, 2019 3:07 am ET

Bodily function
Push out a poem each day
Haiku #61990, by Sitter of Shitter
February 6, 2019 3:03 am ET

Toilet paper roll
Your shitty future awaits
You and me both
Haiku #61989, by King Tushincommon of Walking like an Egyptian (Dingleberries)
February 6, 2019 2:36 am ET

strange man in closet
She found him wearing her clothes
Just hanging around
Haiku #61988, by Creep
February 6, 2019 2:34 am ET

i dont know what to
say, a wicked talent is
never buried, deep
Haiku #61987, by vhs
February 5, 2019 11:20 pm ET

The Calligrapher
Ambidextrous and then some
Cephalopod inked
Haiku #61986, by Starkitten of the Pacific Northwest of Bathysphere
February 5, 2019 9:02 pm ET

Is there a word for it?
When you're wiping your asshole
And it's clean enough
Haiku #61985, by Noticer of Details of In the moment
February 5, 2019 8:59 pm ET