Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 253 Days and 71024 Haikus later...

Peeking through keyholes
Listening in on phone calls
Perusing your mail
Haiku # 61992, February 6, 2019 3:09 am ET
by Nosy of Your business
Don't mix up these two
Keep the piles separated
Shit and chocolate
Haiku # 61991, February 6, 2019 3:07 am ET
by Organizational wizard
Bodily function
Push out a poem each day
Haiku # 61990, February 6, 2019 3:03 am ET
by Sitter of Shitter
Toilet paper roll
Your shitty future awaits
You and me both
Haiku # 61989, February 6, 2019 2:36 am ET
by King Tushincommon of Walking like an Egyptian (Dingleberries)
strange man in closet
She found him wearing her clothes
Just hanging around
Haiku # 61988, February 6, 2019 2:34 am ET
by Creep
i dont know what to
say, a wicked talent is
never buried, deep
Haiku # 61987, February 5, 2019 11:20 pm ET
by vhs
The Calligrapher
Ambidextrous and then some
Cephalopod inked
Haiku # 61986, February 5, 2019 9:02 pm ET
by Starkitten of the Pacific Northwest of Bathysphere
Is there a word for it?
When you're wiping your asshole
And it's clean enough
Haiku # 61985, February 5, 2019 8:59 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of In the moment
Shot from a cannon
Butt is singed, but I'm happy
Hope I never land
Haiku # 61984, February 5, 2019 8:54 pm ET
by Whizz of Just flew over your house
Figpucker has died.
His brain finally bled out.
It's better this way.
Haiku # 61983, February 5, 2019 6:20 pm ET
by Ghost of Darth Figpucker of Limbo
What do we have here?
The coconut-pineapple
Pina Asana.
Haiku # 61982, February 5, 2019 4:07 pm ET
by Ommmmmmmmmmm of put one of those little parasols in it, Ommmmmmmmmmmm
Dude, it
Haiku # 61981, February 5, 2019 12:07 pm ET
by And many other aliases
if you like pina
coladas and yoga then
what do we have here
Haiku # 61980, February 5, 2019 9:21 am ET
by vhs
Those Herb Alpert horns!
You date yourself, Figpucker...
and I love them too.
Haiku # 61979, February 5, 2019 8:26 am ET
by The Old Smokin' Bull of 1967
i know ive been some
one else on here before the
person i am now
Haiku # 61978, February 4, 2019 10:37 pm ET
by vhs of irn bru?
I don't care but the
poetry is quite good to
be honest, who knows
Haiku # 61977, February 4, 2019 8:45 pm ET
by vhs of he's out there somewhere
I think he's hiding
The Figpucker character
What's your take on it?
Haiku # 61976, February 4, 2019 8:11 pm ET
by Someone
that's all right i ate
alligator and boy spam
seems so last season
Haiku # 61975, February 4, 2019 8:04 pm ET
by vhs
I've been waiting too
Robbed of every happiness
Except my fart jokes
Haiku # 61974, February 4, 2019 7:48 pm ET
by Farts
cynical of faith
i believe but I'm burned out
i just have to wait...
Haiku # 61973, February 4, 2019 7:17 pm ET
by vhs of frustrated, but patient
The magical fruit
Backend Bean Blow Out, Boom Boom!
Honey in the Horn
Haiku # 61972, February 4, 2019 6:16 pm ET
by Smoking Herb Alpert of Horn of plenty more where that came from
Nobody home now
Like living in the mountains
ahh peace and quiet..

One more cup of beans
I put some honey in it
But not some whiskey..
Haiku # 61971, February 4, 2019 5:15 pm ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
Made in his image
I am God and you are God
God is hella ugly
Haiku # 61970, February 4, 2019 2:34 pm ET
by Religious AF of Off the Grid
It's never enough
Even human sacrifice
Never satisfied
Haiku # 61969, February 4, 2019 2:30 pm ET
by Noticer of Details
Everyone bow down
The Great Ego in the Sky
Wants our attention
Haiku # 61968, February 4, 2019 2:28 pm ET
by sassy Smote Avoider
Tonite's the Big Game.
Wow. I am SO excited...
Haiku Superbowl !
Haiku # 61967, February 4, 2019 8:44 am ET
by Offensive Strategies of POETRY
i wonder if the
whiskers belong to a fine
neko lady...rowr?
Haiku # 61966, February 4, 2019 5:01 am ET
by vhs of most intriguing
Haiku Addiction
Sure, I can quit anytime
Okay, one more line
Haiku # 61965, February 4, 2019 4:55 am ET
by Friend of VHS. (Feline variety) of Haiku wavelength
there is no pain, spammed
voice of reason, money sold
30 pieces, pigs
Haiku # 61964, February 4, 2019 4:22 am ET
by vhs of i have the body of a pig...grunt grunt
Flying pigs wee wee.
Feed them blue and red food dye.
Prince's Purple Rain.

There's no more Pink Floyd.
Roger Water's Prince cover.
Rick Wright, RIP.
Haiku # 61963, February 4, 2019 3:33 am ET
by I mean "The "Artist" Formerly Known As Prince."
Dusty gutter dink
Tossed out the car window. Lost
A friend remembered
Haiku # 61962, February 4, 2019 2:19 am ET
by Guttersnipe of Gutter
Human resources
Internal organ harvest
Black market resale
Haiku # 61961, February 4, 2019 2:12 am ET
by Air bnb of Sleep with one eye open...wait where'd my other eye go...
Free filthy futon
Fornication foundation
Flounder fish fragrance
Haiku # 61960, February 4, 2019 2:09 am ET
by Freda
Halftime Tribute
Lay it down for Baphomet
Steroids on STEROIDS
Haiku # 61959, February 3, 2019 8:05 pm ET
by Undercooked Totinos of Small intestine
He's up to the task
Eight tentacles spinning plates
He's beating off, too
Haiku # 61958, February 3, 2019 8:01 pm ET
by Louis c.k. & Starkitten of the PNW of Cephalopod King Restarant Corp.
Starkitten's recent
Epic magnificent verse
Was thusly penned: "He"
Haiku # 61957, February 3, 2019 7:18 pm ET
by QuaLanda of the projects in the Hood
Football be like this:
They gots round thangz on they head.
They all throwin shit
Haiku # 61956, February 3, 2019 7:15 pm ET
by LaQuanda of The Economist (guest columnist)
Chant to the spirits:
"He-ya he-ya hey halftime
Check those cheerleaders"
Haiku # 61955, February 3, 2019 7:07 pm ET
by Spiritual Supper Bowl of DOG
Hey! It's the big game!
Time to drink Ayahuasca
And speak with spirits
Haiku # 61954, February 3, 2019 7:03 pm ET
by NFL shaman of astral projection
Howard Cosell of
Spirit world that was funny
I almost laughed. Urp.
Haiku # 61953, February 3, 2019 7:00 pm ET
by Joe Namath's right buttcheek of Wings and Bud Lite Vomit Spew
Haiku # 61952, February 3, 2019 6:34 pm ET
by Starkitten of the Pacific Northwest of 100% Octopus owned restaurant
Driving down the road
In a motorized commode
Dropping off a load
Haiku # 61951, February 3, 2019 5:51 pm ET
by Starkitten of the Pacific Northwest of Woodland Park Zoo Komodo Dragon
The goofy uncle
Hail Mary pass to Grandma
Knocked out her dentures
Haiku # 61950, February 3, 2019 2:03 pm ET
by Brent Mussberger of Hades
Speaking of pig skin
Why not just eat the football?
Living room hog pile
Haiku # 61949, February 3, 2019 1:57 pm ET
by Howard Cosell of Spirit World
He had a big dink
Inflatable Pink Floyd pig
Life High off the Hog
Haiku # 61948, February 3, 2019 1:22 pm ET
by Pork Bellies of Up
Some big game today.
That basketball tournament...
no wait -- it's hockey.
Haiku # 61947, February 3, 2019 12:58 pm ET
by Spectatored Sport of Spheroid
pigs will fly, esp. if
you put them in catapults
wee wee all the way...
Haiku # 61946, February 3, 2019 9:36 am ET
by vhs
Headstand if you can
Release the methane gasket
Now you are spinning
Haiku # 61945, February 3, 2019 12:31 am ET
by Phenomenon
Do you remember?
I have never forgotten
The humour in farts
Haiku # 61944, February 3, 2019 12:29 am ET
by Farter
Everyone makes farts
Even vegans cut the cheese
Make the most of it
Haiku # 61943, February 3, 2019 12:27 am ET
by Optimist
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