BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
22 Years
309 Days
and
65960 Haikus
later...
Figpucker has died.
His brain finally bled out.
It's better this way.
Haiku #61983, by Ghost of Darth Figpucker of Limbo
February 5, 2019 6:20 pm ET

What do we have here?
The coconut-pineapple
Pina Asana.
Haiku #61982, by Ommmmmmmmmmm of put one of those little parasols in it, Ommmmmmmmmmmm
February 5, 2019 4:07 pm ET

Dude, it
Haiku #61981, by And many other aliases
February 5, 2019 12:07 pm ET

if you like pina
coladas and yoga then
what do we have here
Haiku #61980, by vhs
February 5, 2019 9:21 am ET

Those Herb Alpert horns!
You date yourself, Figpucker...
and I love them too.
Haiku #61979, by The Old Smokin' Bull of 1967
February 5, 2019 8:26 am ET

i know ive been some
one else on here before the
person i am now
Haiku #61978, by vhs of irn bru?
February 4, 2019 10:37 pm ET

I don't care but the
poetry is quite good to
be honest, who knows
Haiku #61977, by vhs of he's out there somewhere
February 4, 2019 8:45 pm ET

I think he's hiding
The Figpucker character
What's your take on it?
Haiku #61976, by Someone
February 4, 2019 8:11 pm ET

that's all right i ate
alligator and boy spam
seems so last season
Haiku #61975, by vhs
February 4, 2019 8:04 pm ET

I've been waiting too
Robbed of every happiness
Except my fart jokes
Haiku #61974, by Farts
February 4, 2019 7:48 pm ET

cynical of faith
i believe but I'm burned out
i just have to wait...
Haiku #61973, by vhs of frustrated, but patient
February 4, 2019 7:17 pm ET

The magical fruit
Backend Bean Blow Out, Boom Boom!
Honey in the Horn
Haiku #61972, by Smoking Herb Alpert of Horn of plenty more where that came from
February 4, 2019 6:16 pm ET

Nobody home now
Like living in the mountains
ahh peace and quiet..

One more cup of beans
I put some honey in it
But not some whiskey..
Haiku #61971, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
February 4, 2019 5:15 pm ET

Made in his image
I am God and you are God
God is hella ugly
Haiku #61970, by Religious AF of Off the Grid
February 4, 2019 2:34 pm ET

It's never enough
Even human sacrifice
Never satisfied
Haiku #61969, by Noticer of Details
February 4, 2019 2:30 pm ET

Everyone bow down
The Great Ego in the Sky
Wants our attention
Haiku #61968, by sassy Smote Avoider
February 4, 2019 2:28 pm ET

Tonite's the Big Game.
Wow. I am SO excited...
Haiku Superbowl !
Haiku #61967, by Offensive Strategies of POETRY
February 4, 2019 8:44 am ET

i wonder if the
whiskers belong to a fine
neko lady...rowr?
Haiku #61966, by vhs of most intriguing
February 4, 2019 5:01 am ET

Haiku Addiction
Sure, I can quit anytime
Okay, one more line
Haiku #61965, by Friend of VHS. (Feline variety) of Haiku wavelength
February 4, 2019 4:55 am ET

there is no pain, spammed
voice of reason, money sold
30 pieces, pigs
Haiku #61964, by vhs of i have the body of a pig...grunt grunt
February 4, 2019 4:22 am ET

Flying pigs wee wee.
Feed them blue and red food dye.
Prince's Purple Rain.

There's no more Pink Floyd.
Roger Water's Prince cover.
Rick Wright, RIP.
Haiku #61963, by I mean "The "Artist" Formerly Known As Prince."
February 4, 2019 3:33 am ET

Dusty gutter dink
Tossed out the car window. Lost
A friend remembered
Haiku #61962, by Guttersnipe of Gutter
February 4, 2019 2:19 am ET

Human resources
Internal organ harvest
Black market resale
Haiku #61961, by Air bnb of Sleep with one eye open...wait where'd my other eye go...
February 4, 2019 2:12 am ET

Free filthy futon
Fornication foundation
Flounder fish fragrance
Haiku #61960, by Freda
February 4, 2019 2:09 am ET

Halftime Tribute
Lay it down for Baphomet
Steroids on STEROIDS
Haiku #61959, by Undercooked Totinos of Small intestine
February 3, 2019 8:05 pm ET

He's up to the task
Eight tentacles spinning plates
He's beating off, too
Haiku #61958, by Louis c.k. & Starkitten of the PNW of Cephalopod King Restarant Corp.
February 3, 2019 8:01 pm ET

Starkitten's recent
Epic magnificent verse
Was thusly penned: "He"
Haiku #61957, by QuaLanda of the projects in the Hood
February 3, 2019 7:18 pm ET

Football be like this:
They gots round thangz on they head.
They all throwin shit
Haiku #61956, by LaQuanda of The Economist (guest columnist)
February 3, 2019 7:15 pm ET

Chant to the spirits:
"He-ya he-ya hey halftime
Check those cheerleaders"
Haiku #61955, by Spiritual Supper Bowl of DOG
February 3, 2019 7:07 pm ET

Hey! It's the big game!
Time to drink Ayahuasca
And speak with spirits
Haiku #61954, by NFL shaman of astral projection
February 3, 2019 7:03 pm ET

Howard Cosell of
Spirit world that was funny
I almost laughed. Urp.
Haiku #61953, by Joe Namath's right buttcheek of Wings and Bud Lite Vomit Spew
February 3, 2019 7:00 pm ET

He
Haiku #61952, by Starkitten of the Pacific Northwest of 100% Octopus owned restaurant
February 3, 2019 6:34 pm ET

Driving down the road
In a motorized commode
Dropping off a load
Haiku #61951, by Starkitten of the Pacific Northwest of Woodland Park Zoo Komodo Dragon
February 3, 2019 5:51 pm ET

The goofy uncle
Hail Mary pass to Grandma
Knocked out her dentures
Haiku #61950, by Brent Mussberger of Hades
February 3, 2019 2:03 pm ET

Speaking of pig skin
Why not just eat the football?
Living room hog pile
Haiku #61949, by Howard Cosell of Spirit World
February 3, 2019 1:57 pm ET

He had a big dink
Inflatable Pink Floyd pig
Life High off the Hog
Haiku #61948, by Pork Bellies of Up
February 3, 2019 1:22 pm ET

Some big game today.
That basketball tournament...
no wait -- it's hockey.
Haiku #61947, by Spectatored Sport of Spheroid
February 3, 2019 12:58 pm ET

pigs will fly, esp. if
you put them in catapults
wee wee all the way...
Haiku #61946, by vhs
February 3, 2019 9:36 am ET

Headstand if you can
Release the methane gasket
Now you are spinning
Haiku #61945, by Phenomenon
February 3, 2019 12:31 am ET

Do you remember?
I have never forgotten
The humour in farts
Haiku #61944, by Farter
February 3, 2019 12:29 am ET

Everyone makes farts
Even vegans cut the cheese
Make the most of it
Haiku #61943, by Optimist
February 3, 2019 12:27 am ET

They aired out the room
Thick fog of fart molecules
I say, "Ambrosia!"
Haiku #61942, by Sniffy of Room
February 3, 2019 12:25 am ET

No one will deny
that other races helped us.
But Anglos built this.
Haiku #61941, by Revisionists Eat Your Words
February 2, 2019 7:43 pm ET

No American
Cares what color your hide is
Get over yourself

Just ride for the brand
Live by the Constitution
All for one- one all

Some four hundred Blacks
Fought under George Washington
And Indians to

They made this nation
Along with their white brothers
Do not forget it.
Haiku #61940, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
February 2, 2019 6:24 pm ET

I don't have an answer
i just live day by day
yesterday's gone but

we live in its shadow
Haiku #61939, by vhs
February 2, 2019 6:19 pm ET

No American
Cares what color your hide is
Get over yourself

Just ride for the brand
Live by the Constitution
Get over your self

Some four hundred Blacks
Fought under George Washington
And Indians to

They made this nation
Along with their white brothers
Do not forget it.
Haiku #61938, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
February 2, 2019 6:19 pm ET

Best thing about God
He hates every one of us
Take comfort in that
Haiku #61937, by Anonymous Poet
February 2, 2019 5:27 pm ET

I'm not VHS...
Nations established by whites
in Europe and here!
Haiku #61936, by Go live in Underdeveloped World and Get Back to Me
February 2, 2019 2:42 pm ET

Tell us VHS....
Just what is a "white nation?"
The one built by slaves?

Or maybe it is
One stolen from the natives?
Yup, all POC

should have built a wall
Before 1492
Them dang immigrants
Haiku #61935, by Jesus loves me more than you
February 2, 2019 1:17 pm ET

Hula Hooping nude
Jump Back! Heaving mounds of lard
I'm shaking my junk
Haiku #61934, by Fun person
February 2, 2019 3:10 am ET