BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
22 Years
337 Days
and
66187 Haikus
later...
Best thing about God
He hates every one of us
Take comfort in that
Haiku #61937, by Anonymous Poet
February 2, 2019 5:27 pm ET

I'm not VHS...
Nations established by whites
in Europe and here!
Haiku #61936, by Go live in Underdeveloped World and Get Back to Me
February 2, 2019 2:42 pm ET

Tell us VHS....
Just what is a "white nation?"
The one built by slaves?

Or maybe it is
One stolen from the natives?
Yup, all POC

should have built a wall
Before 1492
Them dang immigrants
Haiku #61935, by Jesus loves me more than you
February 2, 2019 1:17 pm ET

Hula Hooping nude
Jump Back! Heaving mounds of lard
I'm shaking my junk
Haiku #61934, by Fun person
February 2, 2019 3:10 am ET

Going down the drain
Washed clean of our earthly sins
Is God a wizard?
Haiku #61933, by Cowering Skywatcher of Hiding
February 2, 2019 3:07 am ET

While high on bath salts,
Trump tells CIA to hack
badhaiku dot com.
Haiku #61932, by Anonymous Poet
February 2, 2019 1:21 am ET

Disconnected call
The future is butt dialing
Fart busy signal
Haiku #61931, by Noticer of Details
February 1, 2019 10:43 pm ET

Unbelievable
Tsunami waves in my tub
Washed hair with Haiku
Haiku #61930, by Starkitten of Bath Tub
February 1, 2019 8:33 pm ET

What the old bag said
Cheaper Accommodations
She's in a casket
Haiku #61929, by Big Grandma of Cheap Canadian Biotch
February 1, 2019 7:59 pm ET

Totally agree!
I am fighting on your side!
Phuck the rest of them...
Haiku #61928, by Hasta la Victoria of Siempre
February 1, 2019 7:17 pm ET

America has-
Always been diverse-jive ass!
Read some history...
Haiku #61927, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
February 1, 2019 4:27 pm ET

Demonrat Commies
Tearing apart our nation
Destroying bastards!

Caracas nit wits
destroyed Venezuela
AOC don't care

She is a moron
Mind full of leftist mush
Wants free chit for all

Move to Caracas
Take your brain dead fans with you
To Socialist hell
Haiku #61926, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
February 1, 2019 4:18 pm ET

Today's immigrants
all flock to the White Nations
so how is White bad ?
Haiku #61925, by Hypocrisies of Multiculturalism
February 1, 2019 2:27 pm ET

TVC15
Transmission of Bad Haiku
Now Automatic
Haiku #61924, by Starkitten of Vinyl
February 1, 2019 1:27 pm ET

we write so long then
come back to sneak in and say
hi then leave again
Haiku #61923, by vhs
February 1, 2019 11:05 am ET

Oh no, Basho-San--
my brand-new robot girlfriend
is writing Haiku
Haiku #61922, by Fun to Recharge of Automatic Geisha
February 1, 2019 11:02 am ET

Er, hop shuffle step
Ball change ball change, hop shuffle..
I will never stop
Haiku #61921, by Tap Dancing of On your sidewalk
February 1, 2019 2:06 am ET

I don
Haiku #61920, by The actual holes of Not like Munchkins or Timbits
February 1, 2019 2:04 am ET

Electricity
I use it to zap houseguests
Who use my toilet
Haiku #61919, by Air bnb of Toilet seat electric chair
February 1, 2019 12:26 am ET

Cats are partying
A fine dime bag of catnip
Tails wave like glow sticks
Haiku #61918, by Cat Raver of Cat Rave
February 1, 2019 12:00 am ET

Sucking a lemon
At the trumpet recital
Laughing in my sleeve
Haiku #61917, by Starkitten of the Pacific Northwest of Trumpet recital
January 31, 2019 10:18 pm ET

a man told me some
thing but, the thing he told me
was just some more words
Haiku #61916, by vhs
January 31, 2019 10:14 pm ET

Muh Diversity
Waah! Waah! Muh Identity...
Feminism. SKREEEECH!
Haiku #61915, by Tomas Bezmenov of Leetle Russian Magnet on your Fridge
January 31, 2019 4:08 pm ET

That's right, Wong Lofan
Venezuela's an old house
falling apart fast...
Haiku #61914, by Entropy Enhanced
January 31, 2019 3:03 pm ET

Watch it fall apart
If you learn to enjoy it
It makes life easy
Haiku #61913, by Old One of Ethers
January 31, 2019 1:55 pm ET

The rotten bastards
Were supposed to fix the house
They fooked it up worse

It seems those days
No one knows their GD job
incompetent fools!
Haiku #61912, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
January 31, 2019 1:53 pm ET

Most Americans
have no idea about
Venezuela's fate
Haiku #61911, by Maracas of Caracas
January 31, 2019 1:53 pm ET

Dull behaviorists
Pavlov and B.F. Skinner.
What a bunch of twits.
Haiku #61910, by Piaget Too
January 31, 2019 12:48 pm ET

aw who am i kidding
responses stimulus and
do it all over
Haiku #61909, by vhs of rewind
January 31, 2019 8:47 am ET

sit back to camp go
fishing real people, fuck this
this is meaningless
Haiku #61908, by vhs
January 31, 2019 8:34 am ET

something like blah blah blah
yada yada yada
pretty much this is
Haiku #61907, by vhs
January 31, 2019 7:13 am ET

there is nothing more
to say but quietly send
the clowns far away
Haiku #61906, by vhs
January 31, 2019 7:05 am ET

intimidation
and offense, unashamed
of their evil ways
Haiku #61905, by vhs
January 31, 2019 7:03 am ET

Cry crocodile tears
Go now, cry in your stale beers
Cry me a river
Haiku #61904, by Whiner
January 31, 2019 4:02 am ET

Investigators
They come from Florida
Reptiles. Stocks and Bonds
Haiku #61903, by Crocodile Purse of Laughing all the way to the bank
January 31, 2019 3:59 am ET

nothing to guess pearls thrown
to swine are trampled then they
turn to rend others
Haiku #61902, by vhs
January 31, 2019 2:51 am ET

Are the waffles blue
And if so, that is your clue
The chef was guess who
Haiku #61901, by Anonymous Poet
January 30, 2019 10:07 pm ET

waffle house is just
freaking heaven and i dont
talk food too much, y'all
Haiku #61900, by vhs of send waffle house to yankee lands, right away!
January 30, 2019 8:31 pm ET

Oh not this again
Someone said we breathe the farts
Of Adolph Hitler
Haiku #61899, by He stinx
January 30, 2019 5:46 pm ET

The Hero returns
Fresh battle scars and tall tales
But now, let us feast!
Haiku #61898, by Hamberders for everyone
January 30, 2019 4:32 pm ET

Only one person
talks about poo rubbing off...
And who might that be?
Haiku #61897, by The Mighty Darth of Figpuckery
January 30, 2019 3:37 pm ET

Someone
Haiku #61896, by Anonymous Poet
January 30, 2019 3:27 pm ET

Is this really true?
Their greatness rubs off on you?
How about the poo?
Haiku #61895, by I love Haiku
January 30, 2019 1:49 pm ET

Don't usually do this but I though of all of you fellow Haikooks:

(...When you write a haiku, the masters from Matsuo Basho to Kobayashi Issa are also remembered, and your readers give a mental nod in their direction. Some of their excellence rubs off on your work, merely through you applying the discipline of the form.)

from M. Bijman:
https://sevencircumstances.com/poetry-and-lyrics/why-i-hate-poetry/
Haiku #61894, by Matsuo Koboyashi of 575 High Ku Ave.
January 30, 2019 11:44 am ET

Time waits for no one-
its a damn good fooking thing
when times up- thats it.
Haiku #61893, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
January 30, 2019 6:17 am ET

I held open-door
She said "chivalry not dead"
Was thinking.. with head
Haiku #61892, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
January 30, 2019 6:10 am ET

Home depot or hell?
Wander around- can't find chit
Hell same--as depot-
Haiku #61891, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
January 30, 2019 6:00 am ET

Caveman rebellion:
Time to storm projection room
(Plato's Cave Act II)
Haiku #61890, by True Illumination of Eternal Day
January 30, 2019 5:56 am ET

there comes a time when
real life wins, no answer back
no more platos cave
Haiku #61889, by vhs
January 30, 2019 4:41 am ET

i still get mad at
the critiques out there but you
know this...learn to code
Haiku #61888, by vhs
January 30, 2019 3:34 am ET