Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 107 Days and 76929 Haiku later...

I use it to zap houseguests
Who use my toilet
Haiku # 61919, February 1, 2019 12:26 am ET
by Air bnb of Toilet seat electric chair
Cats are partying
A fine dime bag of catnip
Tails wave like glow sticks
Haiku # 61918, February 1, 2019 12:00 am ET
by Cat Raver of Cat Rave
Sucking a lemon
At the trumpet recital
Laughing in my sleeve
Haiku # 61917, January 31, 2019 10:18 pm ET
by Starkitten of the Pacific Northwest of Trumpet recital
a man told me some
thing but, the thing he told me
was just some more words
Haiku # 61916, January 31, 2019 10:14 pm ET
by vhs
Muh Diversity
Waah! Waah! Muh Identity...
Feminism. SKREEEECH!
Haiku # 61915, January 31, 2019 4:08 pm ET
by Tomas Bezmenov of Leetle Russian Magnet on your Fridge
That's right, Wong Lofan
Venezuela's an old house
falling apart fast...
Haiku # 61914, January 31, 2019 3:03 pm ET
by Entropy Enhanced
Watch it fall apart
If you learn to enjoy it
It makes life easy
Haiku # 61913, January 31, 2019 1:55 pm ET
by Old One of Ethers
The rotten bastards
Were supposed to fix the house
They fooked it up worse

It seems those days
No one knows their GD job
incompetent fools!
Haiku # 61912, January 31, 2019 1:53 pm ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
Most Americans
have no idea about
Venezuela's fate
Haiku # 61911, January 31, 2019 1:53 pm ET
by Maracas of Caracas
Dull behaviorists
Pavlov and B.F. Skinner.
What a bunch of twits.
Haiku # 61910, January 31, 2019 12:48 pm ET
by Piaget Too
aw who am i kidding
responses stimulus and
do it all over
Haiku # 61909, January 31, 2019 8:47 am ET
by vhs of rewind
sit back to camp go
fishing real people, fuck this
this is meaningless
Haiku # 61908, January 31, 2019 8:34 am ET
by vhs
something like blah blah blah
yada yada yada
pretty much this is
Haiku # 61907, January 31, 2019 7:13 am ET
by vhs
there is nothing more
to say but quietly send
the clowns far away
Haiku # 61906, January 31, 2019 7:05 am ET
by vhs
and offense, unashamed
of their evil ways
Haiku # 61905, January 31, 2019 7:03 am ET
by vhs
Cry crocodile tears
Go now, cry in your stale beers
Cry me a river
Haiku # 61904, January 31, 2019 4:02 am ET
by Whiner
They come from Florida
Reptiles. Stocks and Bonds
Haiku # 61903, January 31, 2019 3:59 am ET
by Crocodile Purse of Laughing all the way to the bank
nothing to guess pearls thrown
to swine are trampled then they
turn to rend others
Haiku # 61902, January 31, 2019 2:51 am ET
by vhs
Are the waffles blue
And if so, that is your clue
The chef was guess who
Haiku # 61901, January 30, 2019 10:07 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
waffle house is just
freaking heaven and i dont
talk food too much, y'all
Haiku # 61900, January 30, 2019 8:31 pm ET
by vhs of send waffle house to yankee lands, right away!
Oh not this again
Someone said we breathe the farts
Of Adolph Hitler
Haiku # 61899, January 30, 2019 5:46 pm ET
by He stinx
The Hero returns
Fresh battle scars and tall tales
But now, let us feast!
Haiku # 61898, January 30, 2019 4:32 pm ET
by Hamberders for everyone
Only one person
talks about poo rubbing off...
And who might that be?
Haiku # 61897, January 30, 2019 3:37 pm ET
by The Mighty Darth of Figpuckery
Haiku # 61896, January 30, 2019 3:27 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Is this really true?
Their greatness rubs off on you?
How about the poo?
Haiku # 61895, January 30, 2019 1:49 pm ET
by I love Haiku
Don't usually do this but I though of all of you fellow Haikooks:

(...When you write a haiku, the masters from Matsuo Basho to Kobayashi Issa are also remembered, and your readers give a mental nod in their direction. Some of their excellence rubs off on your work, merely through you applying the discipline of the form.)

from M. Bijman:
Haiku # 61894, January 30, 2019 11:44 am ET
by Matsuo Koboyashi of 575 High Ku Ave.
Time waits for no one-
its a damn good fooking thing
when times up- thats it.
Haiku # 61893, January 30, 2019 6:17 am ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
I held open-door
She said "chivalry not dead"
Was thinking.. with head
Haiku # 61892, January 30, 2019 6:10 am ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
Home depot or hell?
Wander around- can't find chit
Hell same--as depot-
Haiku # 61891, January 30, 2019 6:00 am ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
Caveman rebellion:
Time to storm projection room
(Plato's Cave Act II)
Haiku # 61890, January 30, 2019 5:56 am ET
by True Illumination of Eternal Day
there comes a time when
real life wins, no answer back
no more platos cave
Haiku # 61889, January 30, 2019 4:41 am ET
by vhs
i still get mad at
the critiques out there but you
know this...learn to code
Haiku # 61888, January 30, 2019 3:34 am ET
by vhs
censorship on line
the modern terror, gulags
empty headed skulls
Haiku # 61887, January 30, 2019 3:33 am ET
by vhs
move on from the plat
form that mocks thy content and
let then speak to void
Haiku # 61886, January 30, 2019 3:31 am ET
by vhs
And for no reason
People just started hugging
All over the world
Haiku # 61885, January 30, 2019 1:27 am ET
by This gave me a boner
I've said it before
You know I'll say it again
Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt!
Haiku # 61884, January 30, 2019 12:41 am ET
by Red Snapper of Fish Market
Remember the time
You took the axe from your trunk
Fun in the graveyard
Haiku # 61883, January 30, 2019 12:38 am ET
by French Kissers of Graveyard
Eagles hate the man
He emulates seagull style
Falls flat on his face
Haiku # 61882, January 29, 2019 11:21 pm ET
by Lunchmeat president of Garbage chute
if iran is so far
away, and it could not get
away, oh wrong lyrics!
Haiku # 61881, January 29, 2019 10:37 pm ET
by bloody flock of seagulls it was i swear! of deink vhs
Meow and meow
Will anyone hear me now
Lost up in this tree?
Haiku # 61880, January 29, 2019 10:02 pm ET
by Starkitten of Treetops
Don't mind if I do
One person with junk of two
Give myself a screw
Haiku # 61879, January 29, 2019 6:59 pm ET
by Conjoined headless something or other of Freak Show
Cisgender-based buzz
Pure incoherence
Haiku # 61878, January 29, 2019 5:26 pm ET
by Ha Ha of Only 2 Genders
Starkitten! Descend.
Come down off of that tree branch.
You are way too high.
Haiku # 61877, January 29, 2019 2:18 pm ET
by Ladder of Local Fire Dept.
Fizzy Haiku Elixir
Haiku # 61876, January 29, 2019 1:47 pm ET
by High AF starkitten of Cloud 5-7-5
Haiku will save us.
Haiku will defeat evil.
Count syllables. Yup.
Haiku # 61875, January 29, 2019 8:06 am ET
by Triumphal Entry into the Immortal Halls of Glory upon Parnassus' Holy Peak
Let the poems flow
Something for everyone here
Don't give up on it
Haiku # 61874, January 28, 2019 11:18 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
The only reason
Haiku has been ridiculed
It's ridiculous
Haiku # 61873, January 28, 2019 11:16 pm ET
by Poem in my bum
This wrinkly flesh rod
The patent holder is God
The Holy Boomstick
Haiku # 61872, January 28, 2019 10:20 pm ET
by Triskelion (yawn) of 3 legged race
Dude. Whip that thing out
In five-seven-five haiku.
That's IT? What a joke.
Haiku # 61871, January 28, 2019 6:52 pm ET
by Flash of Inspiration
Measure for measure
It's a national treasure
Designed for Pleasure
Haiku # 61870, January 28, 2019 6:13 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
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