BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
23 Years
267 Days
67794 Haikus
Er, hop shuffle step
Ball change ball change, hop shuffle..
I will never stop
Haiku #61921, by Tap Dancing of On your sidewalk
February 1, 2019 2:06 am ET

I don
Haiku #61920, by The actual holes of Not like Munchkins or Timbits
February 1, 2019 2:04 am ET

I use it to zap houseguests
Who use my toilet
Haiku #61919, by Air bnb of Toilet seat electric chair
February 1, 2019 12:26 am ET

Cats are partying
A fine dime bag of catnip
Tails wave like glow sticks
Haiku #61918, by Cat Raver of Cat Rave
February 1, 2019 12:00 am ET

Sucking a lemon
At the trumpet recital
Laughing in my sleeve
Haiku #61917, by Starkitten of the Pacific Northwest of Trumpet recital
January 31, 2019 10:18 pm ET

a man told me some
thing but, the thing he told me
was just some more words
Haiku #61916, by vhs
January 31, 2019 10:14 pm ET

Muh Diversity
Waah! Waah! Muh Identity...
Feminism. SKREEEECH!
Haiku #61915, by Tomas Bezmenov of Leetle Russian Magnet on your Fridge
January 31, 2019 4:08 pm ET

That's right, Wong Lofan
Venezuela's an old house
falling apart fast...
Haiku #61914, by Entropy Enhanced
January 31, 2019 3:03 pm ET

Watch it fall apart
If you learn to enjoy it
It makes life easy
Haiku #61913, by Old One of Ethers
January 31, 2019 1:55 pm ET

The rotten bastards
Were supposed to fix the house
They fooked it up worse

It seems those days
No one knows their GD job
incompetent fools!
Haiku #61912, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
January 31, 2019 1:53 pm ET

Most Americans
have no idea about
Venezuela's fate
Haiku #61911, by Maracas of Caracas
January 31, 2019 1:53 pm ET

Dull behaviorists
Pavlov and B.F. Skinner.
What a bunch of twits.
Haiku #61910, by Piaget Too
January 31, 2019 12:48 pm ET

aw who am i kidding
responses stimulus and
do it all over
Haiku #61909, by vhs of rewind
January 31, 2019 8:47 am ET

sit back to camp go
fishing real people, fuck this
this is meaningless
Haiku #61908, by vhs
January 31, 2019 8:34 am ET

something like blah blah blah
yada yada yada
pretty much this is
Haiku #61907, by vhs
January 31, 2019 7:13 am ET

there is nothing more
to say but quietly send
the clowns far away
Haiku #61906, by vhs
January 31, 2019 7:05 am ET

and offense, unashamed
of their evil ways
Haiku #61905, by vhs
January 31, 2019 7:03 am ET

Cry crocodile tears
Go now, cry in your stale beers
Cry me a river
Haiku #61904, by Whiner
January 31, 2019 4:02 am ET

They come from Florida
Reptiles. Stocks and Bonds
Haiku #61903, by Crocodile Purse of Laughing all the way to the bank
January 31, 2019 3:59 am ET

nothing to guess pearls thrown
to swine are trampled then they
turn to rend others
Haiku #61902, by vhs
January 31, 2019 2:51 am ET

Are the waffles blue
And if so, that is your clue
The chef was guess who
Haiku #61901, by Anonymous Poet
January 30, 2019 10:07 pm ET

waffle house is just
freaking heaven and i dont
talk food too much, y'all
Haiku #61900, by vhs of send waffle house to yankee lands, right away!
January 30, 2019 8:31 pm ET

Oh not this again
Someone said we breathe the farts
Of Adolph Hitler
Haiku #61899, by He stinx
January 30, 2019 5:46 pm ET

The Hero returns
Fresh battle scars and tall tales
But now, let us feast!
Haiku #61898, by Hamberders for everyone
January 30, 2019 4:32 pm ET

Only one person
talks about poo rubbing off...
And who might that be?
Haiku #61897, by The Mighty Darth of Figpuckery
January 30, 2019 3:37 pm ET

Haiku #61896, by Anonymous Poet
January 30, 2019 3:27 pm ET

Is this really true?
Their greatness rubs off on you?
How about the poo?
Haiku #61895, by I love Haiku
January 30, 2019 1:49 pm ET

Don't usually do this but I though of all of you fellow Haikooks:

(...When you write a haiku, the masters from Matsuo Basho to Kobayashi Issa are also remembered, and your readers give a mental nod in their direction. Some of their excellence rubs off on your work, merely through you applying the discipline of the form.)

from M. Bijman:
Haiku #61894, by Matsuo Koboyashi of 575 High Ku Ave.
January 30, 2019 11:44 am ET

Time waits for no one-
its a damn good fooking thing
when times up- thats it.
Haiku #61893, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
January 30, 2019 6:17 am ET

I held open-door
She said "chivalry not dead"
Was thinking.. with head
Haiku #61892, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
January 30, 2019 6:10 am ET

Home depot or hell?
Wander around- can't find chit
Hell same--as depot-
Haiku #61891, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
January 30, 2019 6:00 am ET

Caveman rebellion:
Time to storm projection room
(Plato's Cave Act II)
Haiku #61890, by True Illumination of Eternal Day
January 30, 2019 5:56 am ET

there comes a time when
real life wins, no answer back
no more platos cave
Haiku #61889, by vhs
January 30, 2019 4:41 am ET

i still get mad at
the critiques out there but you
know this...learn to code
Haiku #61888, by vhs
January 30, 2019 3:34 am ET

censorship on line
the modern terror, gulags
empty headed skulls
Haiku #61887, by vhs
January 30, 2019 3:33 am ET

move on from the plat
form that mocks thy content and
let then speak to void
Haiku #61886, by vhs
January 30, 2019 3:31 am ET

And for no reason
People just started hugging
All over the world
Haiku #61885, by This gave me a boner
January 30, 2019 1:27 am ET

I've said it before
You know I'll say it again
Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt!
Haiku #61884, by Red Snapper of Fish Market
January 30, 2019 12:41 am ET

Remember the time
You took the axe from your trunk
Fun in the graveyard
Haiku #61883, by French Kissers of Graveyard
January 30, 2019 12:38 am ET

Eagles hate the man
He emulates seagull style
Falls flat on his face
Haiku #61882, by Lunchmeat president of Garbage chute
January 29, 2019 11:21 pm ET

if iran is so far
away, and it could not get
away, oh wrong lyrics!
Haiku #61881, by bloody flock of seagulls it was i swear! of deink vhs
January 29, 2019 10:37 pm ET

Meow and meow
Will anyone hear me now
Lost up in this tree?
Haiku #61880, by Starkitten of Treetops
January 29, 2019 10:02 pm ET

Don't mind if I do
One person with junk of two
Give myself a screw
Haiku #61879, by Conjoined headless something or other of Freak Show
January 29, 2019 6:59 pm ET

Cisgender-based buzz
Pure incoherence
Haiku #61878, by Ha Ha of Only 2 Genders
January 29, 2019 5:26 pm ET

Starkitten! Descend.
Come down off of that tree branch.
You are way too high.
Haiku #61877, by Ladder of Local Fire Dept.
January 29, 2019 2:18 pm ET

Fizzy Haiku Elixir
Haiku #61876, by High AF starkitten of Cloud 5-7-5
January 29, 2019 1:47 pm ET

Haiku will save us.
Haiku will defeat evil.
Count syllables. Yup.
Haiku #61875, by Triumphal Entry into the Immortal Halls of Glory upon Parnassus' Holy Peak
January 29, 2019 8:06 am ET

Let the poems flow
Something for everyone here
Don't give up on it
Haiku #61874, by Anonymous Poet
January 28, 2019 11:18 pm ET

The only reason
Haiku has been ridiculed
It's ridiculous
Haiku #61873, by Poem in my bum
January 28, 2019 11:16 pm ET

This wrinkly flesh rod
The patent holder is God
The Holy Boomstick
Haiku #61872, by Triskelion (yawn) of 3 legged race
January 28, 2019 10:20 pm ET