BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
22 Years
337 Days
and
66190 Haikus
later...
strange man in closet
She found him wearing her clothes
Just hanging around
Haiku #61988, by Creep
February 6, 2019 2:34 am ET

i dont know what to
say, a wicked talent is
never buried, deep
Haiku #61987, by vhs
February 5, 2019 11:20 pm ET

The Calligrapher
Ambidextrous and then some
Cephalopod inked
Haiku #61986, by Starkitten of the Pacific Northwest of Bathysphere
February 5, 2019 9:02 pm ET

Is there a word for it?
When you're wiping your asshole
And it's clean enough
Haiku #61985, by Noticer of Details of In the moment
February 5, 2019 8:59 pm ET

Shot from a cannon
Butt is singed, but I'm happy
Hope I never land
Haiku #61984, by Whizz of Just flew over your house
February 5, 2019 8:54 pm ET

Figpucker has died.
His brain finally bled out.
It's better this way.
Haiku #61983, by Ghost of Darth Figpucker of Limbo
February 5, 2019 6:20 pm ET

What do we have here?
The coconut-pineapple
Pina Asana.
Haiku #61982, by Ommmmmmmmmmm of put one of those little parasols in it, Ommmmmmmmmmmm
February 5, 2019 4:07 pm ET

Dude, it
Haiku #61981, by And many other aliases
February 5, 2019 12:07 pm ET

if you like pina
coladas and yoga then
what do we have here
Haiku #61980, by vhs
February 5, 2019 9:21 am ET

Those Herb Alpert horns!
You date yourself, Figpucker...
and I love them too.
Haiku #61979, by The Old Smokin' Bull of 1967
February 5, 2019 8:26 am ET

i know ive been some
one else on here before the
person i am now
Haiku #61978, by vhs of irn bru?
February 4, 2019 10:37 pm ET

I don't care but the
poetry is quite good to
be honest, who knows
Haiku #61977, by vhs of he's out there somewhere
February 4, 2019 8:45 pm ET

I think he's hiding
The Figpucker character
What's your take on it?
Haiku #61976, by Someone
February 4, 2019 8:11 pm ET

that's all right i ate
alligator and boy spam
seems so last season
Haiku #61975, by vhs
February 4, 2019 8:04 pm ET

I've been waiting too
Robbed of every happiness
Except my fart jokes
Haiku #61974, by Farts
February 4, 2019 7:48 pm ET

cynical of faith
i believe but I'm burned out
i just have to wait...
Haiku #61973, by vhs of frustrated, but patient
February 4, 2019 7:17 pm ET

The magical fruit
Backend Bean Blow Out, Boom Boom!
Honey in the Horn
Haiku #61972, by Smoking Herb Alpert of Horn of plenty more where that came from
February 4, 2019 6:16 pm ET

Nobody home now
Like living in the mountains
ahh peace and quiet..

One more cup of beans
I put some honey in it
But not some whiskey..
Haiku #61971, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
February 4, 2019 5:15 pm ET

Made in his image
I am God and you are God
God is hella ugly
Haiku #61970, by Religious AF of Off the Grid
February 4, 2019 2:34 pm ET

It's never enough
Even human sacrifice
Never satisfied
Haiku #61969, by Noticer of Details
February 4, 2019 2:30 pm ET

Everyone bow down
The Great Ego in the Sky
Wants our attention
Haiku #61968, by sassy Smote Avoider
February 4, 2019 2:28 pm ET

Tonite's the Big Game.
Wow. I am SO excited...
Haiku Superbowl !
Haiku #61967, by Offensive Strategies of POETRY
February 4, 2019 8:44 am ET

i wonder if the
whiskers belong to a fine
neko lady...rowr?
Haiku #61966, by vhs of most intriguing
February 4, 2019 5:01 am ET

Haiku Addiction
Sure, I can quit anytime
Okay, one more line
Haiku #61965, by Friend of VHS. (Feline variety) of Haiku wavelength
February 4, 2019 4:55 am ET

there is no pain, spammed
voice of reason, money sold
30 pieces, pigs
Haiku #61964, by vhs of i have the body of a pig...grunt grunt
February 4, 2019 4:22 am ET

Flying pigs wee wee.
Feed them blue and red food dye.
Prince's Purple Rain.

There's no more Pink Floyd.
Roger Water's Prince cover.
Rick Wright, RIP.
Haiku #61963, by I mean "The "Artist" Formerly Known As Prince."
February 4, 2019 3:33 am ET

Dusty gutter dink
Tossed out the car window. Lost
A friend remembered
Haiku #61962, by Guttersnipe of Gutter
February 4, 2019 2:19 am ET

Human resources
Internal organ harvest
Black market resale
Haiku #61961, by Air bnb of Sleep with one eye open...wait where'd my other eye go...
February 4, 2019 2:12 am ET

Free filthy futon
Fornication foundation
Flounder fish fragrance
Haiku #61960, by Freda
February 4, 2019 2:09 am ET

Halftime Tribute
Lay it down for Baphomet
Steroids on STEROIDS
Haiku #61959, by Undercooked Totinos of Small intestine
February 3, 2019 8:05 pm ET

He's up to the task
Eight tentacles spinning plates
He's beating off, too
Haiku #61958, by Louis c.k. & Starkitten of the PNW of Cephalopod King Restarant Corp.
February 3, 2019 8:01 pm ET

Starkitten's recent
Epic magnificent verse
Was thusly penned: "He"
Haiku #61957, by QuaLanda of the projects in the Hood
February 3, 2019 7:18 pm ET

Football be like this:
They gots round thangz on they head.
They all throwin shit
Haiku #61956, by LaQuanda of The Economist (guest columnist)
February 3, 2019 7:15 pm ET

Chant to the spirits:
"He-ya he-ya hey halftime
Check those cheerleaders"
Haiku #61955, by Spiritual Supper Bowl of DOG
February 3, 2019 7:07 pm ET

Hey! It's the big game!
Time to drink Ayahuasca
And speak with spirits
Haiku #61954, by NFL shaman of astral projection
February 3, 2019 7:03 pm ET

Howard Cosell of
Spirit world that was funny
I almost laughed. Urp.
Haiku #61953, by Joe Namath's right buttcheek of Wings and Bud Lite Vomit Spew
February 3, 2019 7:00 pm ET

He
Haiku #61952, by Starkitten of the Pacific Northwest of 100% Octopus owned restaurant
February 3, 2019 6:34 pm ET

Driving down the road
In a motorized commode
Dropping off a load
Haiku #61951, by Starkitten of the Pacific Northwest of Woodland Park Zoo Komodo Dragon
February 3, 2019 5:51 pm ET

The goofy uncle
Hail Mary pass to Grandma
Knocked out her dentures
Haiku #61950, by Brent Mussberger of Hades
February 3, 2019 2:03 pm ET

Speaking of pig skin
Why not just eat the football?
Living room hog pile
Haiku #61949, by Howard Cosell of Spirit World
February 3, 2019 1:57 pm ET

He had a big dink
Inflatable Pink Floyd pig
Life High off the Hog
Haiku #61948, by Pork Bellies of Up
February 3, 2019 1:22 pm ET

Some big game today.
That basketball tournament...
no wait -- it's hockey.
Haiku #61947, by Spectatored Sport of Spheroid
February 3, 2019 12:58 pm ET

pigs will fly, esp. if
you put them in catapults
wee wee all the way...
Haiku #61946, by vhs
February 3, 2019 9:36 am ET

Headstand if you can
Release the methane gasket
Now you are spinning
Haiku #61945, by Phenomenon
February 3, 2019 12:31 am ET

Do you remember?
I have never forgotten
The humour in farts
Haiku #61944, by Farter
February 3, 2019 12:29 am ET

Everyone makes farts
Even vegans cut the cheese
Make the most of it
Haiku #61943, by Optimist
February 3, 2019 12:27 am ET

They aired out the room
Thick fog of fart molecules
I say, "Ambrosia!"
Haiku #61942, by Sniffy of Room
February 3, 2019 12:25 am ET

No one will deny
that other races helped us.
But Anglos built this.
Haiku #61941, by Revisionists Eat Your Words
February 2, 2019 7:43 pm ET

No American
Cares what color your hide is
Get over yourself

Just ride for the brand
Live by the Constitution
All for one- one all

Some four hundred Blacks
Fought under George Washington
And Indians to

They made this nation
Along with their white brothers
Do not forget it.
Haiku #61940, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
February 2, 2019 6:24 pm ET

I don't have an answer
i just live day by day
yesterday's gone but

we live in its shadow
Haiku #61939, by vhs
February 2, 2019 6:19 pm ET