BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
23 Years
268 Days
67797 Haikus
For Valentine
Haiku #62004, by Flo of Mel
February 6, 2019 9:54 pm ET

Long winter evenings
Inches and centimeters
Measuring my Dong
Haiku #62003, by Big Mack of Whopper
February 6, 2019 9:50 pm ET

You ll be a millionaire
Haiku #62002, by Anonymous Poet
February 6, 2019 9:47 pm ET

Haiku #62001, by Anonymous Poet
February 6, 2019 9:22 pm ET

Haiku #62000, by Anonymous Poet
February 6, 2019 7:05 pm ET

Haiku #61999, by Anonymous Poet
February 6, 2019 6:55 pm ET

Dirty underwear
Will be the new currency
Haiku #61998, by Financial Advisor of Loot of the Fruit of the Loom
February 6, 2019 6:55 pm ET

He counts sheep
He owns a sleep number bed
A friend to count on
Haiku #61997, by Flintstone Kid of Ten million strong and growing
February 6, 2019 4:45 pm ET

Daydreaming. Digits.
The square root of flatulence
A beautiful mind
Haiku #61996, by Professor Beanfart of University of Pfffft
February 6, 2019 4:42 pm ET

He loved number two
Math problems were no problem
You can count on Darth!
Haiku #61995, by Go Figure of In the gall for snapping my gum
February 6, 2019 2:12 pm ET

Look, up in the sky:
it's Super Darth Figpucker.
(Back to shit and farts)
Haiku #61994, by Predictable Poetics of Peristalsis
February 6, 2019 9:55 am ET

How many cunts would
a Cuntfart fart if a cunt-
fart could fart cunts? Five.
Haiku #61993, by Cuntfart's cunt farts cunts
February 6, 2019 4:37 am ET

Peeking through keyholes
Listening in on phone calls
Perusing your mail
Haiku #61992, by Nosy of Your business
February 6, 2019 3:09 am ET

Don't mix up these two
Keep the piles separated
Shit and chocolate
Haiku #61991, by Organizational wizard
February 6, 2019 3:07 am ET

Bodily function
Push out a poem each day
Haiku #61990, by Sitter of Shitter
February 6, 2019 3:03 am ET

Toilet paper roll
Your shitty future awaits
You and me both
Haiku #61989, by King Tushincommon of Walking like an Egyptian (Dingleberries)
February 6, 2019 2:36 am ET

strange man in closet
She found him wearing her clothes
Just hanging around
Haiku #61988, by Creep
February 6, 2019 2:34 am ET

i dont know what to
say, a wicked talent is
never buried, deep
Haiku #61987, by vhs
February 5, 2019 11:20 pm ET

The Calligrapher
Ambidextrous and then some
Cephalopod inked
Haiku #61986, by Starkitten of the Pacific Northwest of Bathysphere
February 5, 2019 9:02 pm ET

Is there a word for it?
When you're wiping your asshole
And it's clean enough
Haiku #61985, by Noticer of Details of In the moment
February 5, 2019 8:59 pm ET

Shot from a cannon
Butt is singed, but I'm happy
Hope I never land
Haiku #61984, by Whizz of Just flew over your house
February 5, 2019 8:54 pm ET

Figpucker has died.
His brain finally bled out.
It's better this way.
Haiku #61983, by Ghost of Darth Figpucker of Limbo
February 5, 2019 6:20 pm ET

What do we have here?
The coconut-pineapple
Pina Asana.
Haiku #61982, by Ommmmmmmmmmm of put one of those little parasols in it, Ommmmmmmmmmmm
February 5, 2019 4:07 pm ET

Dude, it
Haiku #61981, by And many other aliases
February 5, 2019 12:07 pm ET

if you like pina
coladas and yoga then
what do we have here
Haiku #61980, by vhs
February 5, 2019 9:21 am ET

Those Herb Alpert horns!
You date yourself, Figpucker...
and I love them too.
Haiku #61979, by The Old Smokin' Bull of 1967
February 5, 2019 8:26 am ET

i know ive been some
one else on here before the
person i am now
Haiku #61978, by vhs of irn bru?
February 4, 2019 10:37 pm ET

I don't care but the
poetry is quite good to
be honest, who knows
Haiku #61977, by vhs of he's out there somewhere
February 4, 2019 8:45 pm ET

I think he's hiding
The Figpucker character
What's your take on it?
Haiku #61976, by Someone
February 4, 2019 8:11 pm ET

that's all right i ate
alligator and boy spam
seems so last season
Haiku #61975, by vhs
February 4, 2019 8:04 pm ET

I've been waiting too
Robbed of every happiness
Except my fart jokes
Haiku #61974, by Farts
February 4, 2019 7:48 pm ET

cynical of faith
i believe but I'm burned out
i just have to wait...
Haiku #61973, by vhs of frustrated, but patient
February 4, 2019 7:17 pm ET

The magical fruit
Backend Bean Blow Out, Boom Boom!
Honey in the Horn
Haiku #61972, by Smoking Herb Alpert of Horn of plenty more where that came from
February 4, 2019 6:16 pm ET

Nobody home now
Like living in the mountains
ahh peace and quiet..

One more cup of beans
I put some honey in it
But not some whiskey..
Haiku #61971, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
February 4, 2019 5:15 pm ET

Made in his image
I am God and you are God
God is hella ugly
Haiku #61970, by Religious AF of Off the Grid
February 4, 2019 2:34 pm ET

It's never enough
Even human sacrifice
Never satisfied
Haiku #61969, by Noticer of Details
February 4, 2019 2:30 pm ET

Everyone bow down
The Great Ego in the Sky
Wants our attention
Haiku #61968, by sassy Smote Avoider
February 4, 2019 2:28 pm ET

Tonite's the Big Game.
Wow. I am SO excited...
Haiku Superbowl !
Haiku #61967, by Offensive Strategies of POETRY
February 4, 2019 8:44 am ET

i wonder if the
whiskers belong to a fine
neko lady...rowr?
Haiku #61966, by vhs of most intriguing
February 4, 2019 5:01 am ET

Haiku Addiction
Sure, I can quit anytime
Okay, one more line
Haiku #61965, by Friend of VHS. (Feline variety) of Haiku wavelength
February 4, 2019 4:55 am ET

there is no pain, spammed
voice of reason, money sold
30 pieces, pigs
Haiku #61964, by vhs of i have the body of a pig...grunt grunt
February 4, 2019 4:22 am ET

Flying pigs wee wee.
Feed them blue and red food dye.
Prince's Purple Rain.

There's no more Pink Floyd.
Roger Water's Prince cover.
Rick Wright, RIP.
Haiku #61963, by I mean "The "Artist" Formerly Known As Prince."
February 4, 2019 3:33 am ET

Dusty gutter dink
Tossed out the car window. Lost
A friend remembered
Haiku #61962, by Guttersnipe of Gutter
February 4, 2019 2:19 am ET

Human resources
Internal organ harvest
Black market resale
Haiku #61961, by Air bnb of Sleep with one eye open...wait where'd my other eye go...
February 4, 2019 2:12 am ET

Free filthy futon
Fornication foundation
Flounder fish fragrance
Haiku #61960, by Freda
February 4, 2019 2:09 am ET

Halftime Tribute
Lay it down for Baphomet
Steroids on STEROIDS
Haiku #61959, by Undercooked Totinos of Small intestine
February 3, 2019 8:05 pm ET

He's up to the task
Eight tentacles spinning plates
He's beating off, too
Haiku #61958, by Louis c.k. & Starkitten of the PNW of Cephalopod King Restarant Corp.
February 3, 2019 8:01 pm ET

Starkitten's recent
Epic magnificent verse
Was thusly penned: "He"
Haiku #61957, by QuaLanda of the projects in the Hood
February 3, 2019 7:18 pm ET

Football be like this:
They gots round thangz on they head.
They all throwin shit
Haiku #61956, by LaQuanda of The Economist (guest columnist)
February 3, 2019 7:15 pm ET

Chant to the spirits:
"He-ya he-ya hey halftime
Check those cheerleaders"
Haiku #61955, by Spiritual Supper Bowl of DOG
February 3, 2019 7:07 pm ET