Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 39 Days and 77431 Haiku later...

They chased the Beatles
They chase my darning needle
It's Peenmania!
Haiku # 62030, February 8, 2019 1:06 pm ET
by Help! of Cavern Club (My wife's Cunt)
See my Royal Peen
By appointment to the Queen
Admire my gold knob
Haiku # 62029, February 8, 2019 1:04 pm ET
by Gold Nob Bob of Look for the mob
I peed in a sink
It's not as strange as you think
In London, England
Haiku # 62028, February 8, 2019 1:02 pm ET
by Downright Upright of Drinking a shandy outside the pub
What the hell is this?!
Tampon in the urinal!
Getting out of hand.
Haiku # 62027, February 8, 2019 9:59 am ET
by Transgender Substantiation Sanitation of I am toxic shocked!
We couldn
Haiku # 62026, February 8, 2019 6:48 am ET
by On the run(s)
Remember Taiwan
Cold beer, warm girls, China seas
Shu lin kou station

Bought some green jade
And some yards of bright red silk
Carter you bastard!
Haiku # 62025, February 8, 2019 6:02 am ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
How long has it been?
Since the last time I told you
Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt
Haiku # 62024, February 7, 2019 11:32 pm ET
by Cuntfish of cunt
Aluminum foil
Useful to wrap leftovers
Not as toilet paper
Haiku # 62023, February 7, 2019 9:19 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Ghost. Patrick Swayzee.
Can a ghost ejaculate?
Does the Bible say?
Haiku # 62022, February 7, 2019 7:51 pm ET
by Smote Avoider of No Smoting Zone
Come together now
All are beings who make wind
Breathe it in. Rejoice!
Haiku # 62021, February 7, 2019 7:48 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
So are you white or
Nordic/Scandinavian
and why should we breathe?
Haiku # 62020, February 7, 2019 7:21 pm ET
by Reified Isms of Ontology
It's Earth, Wind and Fire.
That's what I am composed of.
Go figure me out.
Haiku # 62019, February 7, 2019 7:19 pm ET
by Yo Funked-Up Mama of 1976
So are you black or
African American
and why do you care?
Haiku # 62018, February 7, 2019 7:05 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Miss America
You got your legs wide open
American Pie
Haiku # 62017, February 7, 2019 5:30 pm ET
by Jack Hornier of Not little
Sick of the routine:
sneak into America;
so -- no loyalty.
Haiku # 62016, February 7, 2019 5:23 pm ET
by Sustainability of Borders
Some immigrants good;
but some never learn English.
Only want Dollar.
Haiku # 62015, February 7, 2019 5:16 pm ET
by Ass of Imilation
She won't use her hands
Greedy chopsticks grab penis
Banned from the restaurant
Haiku # 62014, February 7, 2019 4:00 pm ET
by Dim Sum of Chinatown
Stamp Collecting (Nerd)
Tonga Banana Stamp (Nerd)
Nerd Nerd Nerd Nerd Nerd
Haiku # 62013, February 7, 2019 3:56 pm ET
by Nerd of Post Office
Miss you look so hot
In that sexy qi pao dress!
Don't call your lawyer.

Just a compliment
From a beat up old bastard
Who likes sexy girls.

War between sexes
Seems damn silly-to me
We are all human.

No more fun joking
Harmless flirting riske' fun
Its a sad damn thing..
Haiku # 62012, February 7, 2019 3:55 pm ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
Closet. Way in back.
MC Hammer's crazy pants
You can not touch them
Haiku # 62011, February 7, 2019 3:49 pm ET
by Me of Wayback
Stale fortune cookie
Tasted it. Hard to swallow.
The texture is off
Haiku # 62010, February 7, 2019 12:39 pm ET
by Hungry of 20 minutes later
Liberal women
talk talk talk talk talk talk talk...
and then keep talking.
Haiku # 62009, February 7, 2019 9:52 am ET
by But Ann C. talks better
This page left intentionally blank.
Haiku # 62008, February 7, 2019 7:14 am ET
by But now it's not blank. of Oh shit!
With that being said
With that being said fart fart
With that being said
Haiku # 62007, February 7, 2019 5:18 am ET
by new law passed today of Must say before farting
Let the world end tonight
Will someone please pull the plug
We
Haiku # 62006, February 7, 2019 1:43 am ET
by Done of Here
Readymade haiku
Just add water and voila
Bad Haiku Growbeast
Haiku # 62005, February 7, 2019 1:38 am ET
by Junk of Made in China
For Valentine
Haiku # 62004, February 6, 2019 9:54 pm ET
by Flo of Mel
Long winter evenings
Inches and centimeters
Measuring my Dong
Haiku # 62003, February 6, 2019 9:50 pm ET
by Big Mack of Whopper
You ll be a millionaire
Haiku # 62002, February 6, 2019 9:47 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
You
Haiku # 62001, February 6, 2019 9:22 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
You
Haiku # 62000, February 6, 2019 7:05 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
You
Haiku # 61999, February 6, 2019 6:55 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Dirty underwear
Will be the new currency
You
Haiku # 61998, February 6, 2019 6:55 pm ET
by Financial Advisor of Loot of the Fruit of the Loom
He counts sheep
He owns a sleep number bed
A friend to count on
Haiku # 61997, February 6, 2019 4:45 pm ET
by Flintstone Kid of Ten million strong and growing
Daydreaming. Digits.
The square root of flatulence
A beautiful mind
Haiku # 61996, February 6, 2019 4:42 pm ET
by Professor Beanfart of University of Pfffft
He loved number two
Math problems were no problem
You can count on Darth!
Haiku # 61995, February 6, 2019 2:12 pm ET
by Go Figure of In the gall for snapping my gum
Look, up in the sky:
it's Super Darth Figpucker.
(Back to shit and farts)
Haiku # 61994, February 6, 2019 9:55 am ET
by Predictable Poetics of Peristalsis
How many cunts would
a Cuntfart fart if a cunt-
fart could fart cunts? Five.
Haiku # 61993, February 6, 2019 4:37 am ET
by Cuntfart's cunt farts cunts
Peeking through keyholes
Listening in on phone calls
Perusing your mail
Haiku # 61992, February 6, 2019 3:09 am ET
by Nosy of Your business
Don't mix up these two
Keep the piles separated
Shit and chocolate
Haiku # 61991, February 6, 2019 3:07 am ET
by Organizational wizard
Bodily function
Push out a poem each day
Regularity
Haiku # 61990, February 6, 2019 3:03 am ET
by Sitter of Shitter
Toilet paper roll
Your shitty future awaits
You and me both
Haiku # 61989, February 6, 2019 2:36 am ET
by King Tushincommon of Walking like an Egyptian (Dingleberries)
strange man in closet
She found him wearing her clothes
Just hanging around
Haiku # 61988, February 6, 2019 2:34 am ET
by Creep
i dont know what to
say, a wicked talent is
never buried, deep
Haiku # 61987, February 5, 2019 11:20 pm ET
by vhs
The Calligrapher
Ambidextrous and then some
Cephalopod inked
Haiku # 61986, February 5, 2019 9:02 pm ET
by Starkitten of the Pacific Northwest of Bathysphere
Is there a word for it?
When you're wiping your asshole
And it's clean enough
Haiku # 61985, February 5, 2019 8:59 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of In the moment
Shot from a cannon
Butt is singed, but I'm happy
Hope I never land
Haiku # 61984, February 5, 2019 8:54 pm ET
by Whizz of Just flew over your house
Figpucker has died.
His brain finally bled out.
It's better this way.
Haiku # 61983, February 5, 2019 6:20 pm ET
by Ghost of Darth Figpucker of Limbo
What do we have here?
The coconut-pineapple
Pina Asana.
Haiku # 61982, February 5, 2019 4:07 pm ET
by Ommmmmmmmmmm of put one of those little parasols in it, Ommmmmmmmmmmm
Dude, it
Haiku # 61981, February 5, 2019 12:07 pm ET
by And many other aliases
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