BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
22 Years
343 Days
and
66233 Haikus
later...
Remember Taiwan
Cold beer, warm girls, China seas
Shu lin kou station

Bought some green jade
And some yards of bright red silk
Carter you bastard!
Haiku #62025, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
February 8, 2019 6:02 am ET

How long has it been?
Since the last time I told you
Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt
Haiku #62024, by Cuntfish of cunt
February 7, 2019 11:32 pm ET

Aluminum foil
Useful to wrap leftovers
Not as toilet paper
Haiku #62023, by Anonymous Poet
February 7, 2019 9:19 pm ET

Ghost. Patrick Swayzee.
Can a ghost ejaculate?
Does the Bible say?
Haiku #62022, by Smote Avoider of No Smoting Zone
February 7, 2019 7:51 pm ET

Come together now
All are beings who make wind
Breathe it in. Rejoice!
Haiku #62021, by Anonymous Poet
February 7, 2019 7:48 pm ET

So are you white or
Nordic/Scandinavian
and why should we breathe?
Haiku #62020, by Reified Isms of Ontology
February 7, 2019 7:21 pm ET

It's Earth, Wind and Fire.
That's what I am composed of.
Go figure me out.
Haiku #62019, by Yo Funked-Up Mama of 1976
February 7, 2019 7:19 pm ET

So are you black or
African American
and why do you care?
Haiku #62018, by Anonymous Poet
February 7, 2019 7:05 pm ET

Miss America
You got your legs wide open
American Pie
Haiku #62017, by Jack Hornier of Not little
February 7, 2019 5:30 pm ET

Sick of the routine:
sneak into America;
so -- no loyalty.
Haiku #62016, by Sustainability of Borders
February 7, 2019 5:23 pm ET

Some immigrants good;
but some never learn English.
Only want Dollar.
Haiku #62015, by Ass of Imilation
February 7, 2019 5:16 pm ET

She won't use her hands
Greedy chopsticks grab penis
Banned from the restaurant
Haiku #62014, by Dim Sum of Chinatown
February 7, 2019 4:00 pm ET

Stamp Collecting (Nerd)
Tonga Banana Stamp (Nerd)
Nerd Nerd Nerd Nerd Nerd
Haiku #62013, by Nerd of Post Office
February 7, 2019 3:56 pm ET

Miss you look so hot
In that sexy qi pao dress!
Don't call your lawyer.

Just a compliment
From a beat up old bastard
Who likes sexy girls.

War between sexes
Seems damn silly-to me
We are all human.

No more fun joking
Harmless flirting riske' fun
Its a sad damn thing..
Haiku #62012, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
February 7, 2019 3:55 pm ET

Closet. Way in back.
MC Hammer's crazy pants
You can not touch them
Haiku #62011, by Me of Wayback
February 7, 2019 3:49 pm ET

Stale fortune cookie
Tasted it. Hard to swallow.
The texture is off
Haiku #62010, by Hungry of 20 minutes later
February 7, 2019 12:39 pm ET

Liberal women
talk talk talk talk talk talk talk...
and then keep talking.
Haiku #62009, by But Ann C. talks better
February 7, 2019 9:52 am ET

This page left intentionally blank.
Haiku #62008, by But now it's not blank. of Oh shit!
February 7, 2019 7:14 am ET

With that being said
With that being said fart fart
With that being said
Haiku #62007, by new law passed today of Must say before farting
February 7, 2019 5:18 am ET

Let the world end tonight
Will someone please pull the plug
We
Haiku #62006, by Done of Here
February 7, 2019 1:43 am ET

Readymade haiku
Just add water and voila
Bad Haiku Growbeast
Haiku #62005, by Junk of Made in China
February 7, 2019 1:38 am ET

For Valentine
Haiku #62004, by Flo of Mel
February 6, 2019 9:54 pm ET

Long winter evenings
Inches and centimeters
Measuring my Dong
Haiku #62003, by Big Mack of Whopper
February 6, 2019 9:50 pm ET

You ll be a millionaire
Haiku #62002, by Anonymous Poet
February 6, 2019 9:47 pm ET

You
Haiku #62001, by Anonymous Poet
February 6, 2019 9:22 pm ET

You
Haiku #62000, by Anonymous Poet
February 6, 2019 7:05 pm ET

You
Haiku #61999, by Anonymous Poet
February 6, 2019 6:55 pm ET

Dirty underwear
Will be the new currency
You
Haiku #61998, by Financial Advisor of Loot of the Fruit of the Loom
February 6, 2019 6:55 pm ET

He counts sheep
He owns a sleep number bed
A friend to count on
Haiku #61997, by Flintstone Kid of Ten million strong and growing
February 6, 2019 4:45 pm ET

Daydreaming. Digits.
The square root of flatulence
A beautiful mind
Haiku #61996, by Professor Beanfart of University of Pfffft
February 6, 2019 4:42 pm ET

He loved number two
Math problems were no problem
You can count on Darth!
Haiku #61995, by Go Figure of In the gall for snapping my gum
February 6, 2019 2:12 pm ET

Look, up in the sky:
it's Super Darth Figpucker.
(Back to shit and farts)
Haiku #61994, by Predictable Poetics of Peristalsis
February 6, 2019 9:55 am ET

How many cunts would
a Cuntfart fart if a cunt-
fart could fart cunts? Five.
Haiku #61993, by Cuntfart's cunt farts cunts
February 6, 2019 4:37 am ET

Peeking through keyholes
Listening in on phone calls
Perusing your mail
Haiku #61992, by Nosy of Your business
February 6, 2019 3:09 am ET

Don't mix up these two
Keep the piles separated
Shit and chocolate
Haiku #61991, by Organizational wizard
February 6, 2019 3:07 am ET

Bodily function
Push out a poem each day
Regularity
Haiku #61990, by Sitter of Shitter
February 6, 2019 3:03 am ET

Toilet paper roll
Your shitty future awaits
You and me both
Haiku #61989, by King Tushincommon of Walking like an Egyptian (Dingleberries)
February 6, 2019 2:36 am ET

strange man in closet
She found him wearing her clothes
Just hanging around
Haiku #61988, by Creep
February 6, 2019 2:34 am ET

i dont know what to
say, a wicked talent is
never buried, deep
Haiku #61987, by vhs
February 5, 2019 11:20 pm ET

The Calligrapher
Ambidextrous and then some
Cephalopod inked
Haiku #61986, by Starkitten of the Pacific Northwest of Bathysphere
February 5, 2019 9:02 pm ET

Is there a word for it?
When you're wiping your asshole
And it's clean enough
Haiku #61985, by Noticer of Details of In the moment
February 5, 2019 8:59 pm ET

Shot from a cannon
Butt is singed, but I'm happy
Hope I never land
Haiku #61984, by Whizz of Just flew over your house
February 5, 2019 8:54 pm ET

Figpucker has died.
His brain finally bled out.
It's better this way.
Haiku #61983, by Ghost of Darth Figpucker of Limbo
February 5, 2019 6:20 pm ET

What do we have here?
The coconut-pineapple
Pina Asana.
Haiku #61982, by Ommmmmmmmmmm of put one of those little parasols in it, Ommmmmmmmmmmm
February 5, 2019 4:07 pm ET

Dude, it
Haiku #61981, by And many other aliases
February 5, 2019 12:07 pm ET

if you like pina
coladas and yoga then
what do we have here
Haiku #61980, by vhs
February 5, 2019 9:21 am ET

Those Herb Alpert horns!
You date yourself, Figpucker...
and I love them too.
Haiku #61979, by The Old Smokin' Bull of 1967
February 5, 2019 8:26 am ET

i know ive been some
one else on here before the
person i am now
Haiku #61978, by vhs of irn bru?
February 4, 2019 10:37 pm ET

I don't care but the
poetry is quite good to
be honest, who knows
Haiku #61977, by vhs of he's out there somewhere
February 4, 2019 8:45 pm ET

I think he's hiding
The Figpucker character
What's your take on it?
Haiku #61976, by Someone
February 4, 2019 8:11 pm ET