Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 135 Days and 76969 Haiku later...

Grandpa
Haiku # 62072, February 9, 2019 3:03 am ET
by Geezer
Commando Nation
Pull your pants out of your ass
They get sucked in there
Haiku # 62071, February 9, 2019 2:59 am ET
by Age old problem
I do remember
Caturday nights high on nip
How many lives ago?
Haiku # 62070, February 9, 2019 2:54 am ET
by Familiar of Old haunt
Where my sheep at yo?
Have ewe seen any of them?
Wolves slither snakes howl
Haiku # 62069, February 9, 2019 2:50 am ET
by Shepherd of Field
Migrating mountain
Voiceless song as echoes pass
Moon shines over here
Haiku # 62068, February 9, 2019 2:48 am ET
by human 4
Rubbing against you
To leave my scent on your leg
You remember me
Haiku # 62067, February 9, 2019 2:46 am ET
by human 3
Sometimes I don't think
Then I think about just that
Sometimes I do think
Haiku # 62066, February 9, 2019 2:45 am ET
by human 1
But we are alike
We breathe air and eat and stuff
We can both exist
Haiku # 62065, February 9, 2019 2:44 am ET
by human 2
I resent that fact
I am more human than you
I am number 1
Haiku # 62064, February 9, 2019 2:43 am ET
by human 1
Well hello human
I am also a human
So much in common
Haiku # 62063, February 9, 2019 2:42 am ET
by human 2
I am a human
Identity convincing
Do not question it
Haiku # 62062, February 9, 2019 2:41 am ET
by human 1
Forecasting future
Predictive analysis
Haiku incoming
Haiku # 62061, February 9, 2019 2:39 am ET
by neural net
Now tested on horse
I feel like I GET people
Creatures of habit
Haiku # 62060, February 9, 2019 2:37 am ET
by Sparklepony, MD of Rave
Drug MDMA
Can help human empathy
Untested on horse
Haiku # 62059, February 9, 2019 2:36 am ET
by Sparklepony, MD
Empathy is an
Ability which allows
Some folks to feel things
Haiku # 62058, February 9, 2019 2:28 am ET
by neural net of training on bad haiku convos
SIMULATING HUMAN BANTER...
human 1: "this concept is bad!"
human 2: "no you're bad!"
human 1: "i disagree!"
human 2: "i will make crude comment"
human 1: "now changing topic"
human 3: "i am a cat"
human 4: "i generate poetry with ai"
Haiku # 62057, February 9, 2019 2:22 am ET
by neural net of training on bad haiku convos
Running in circles
Rearranging furniture
So that it looks new
Haiku # 62056, February 9, 2019 2:14 am ET
by Sparklepony, MD
Sometimes I come here
And the haiku makes me laugh
It could save your life
Haiku # 62055, February 9, 2019 12:00 am ET
by Noticer of Details
The bagpipes went missing
Commando Highland Flinging
Over barbed wire fence
Haiku # 62054, February 8, 2019 9:22 pm ET
by Unwise
Free Range Starkitten
The world is my litter pan
Think outside the box
Haiku # 62053, February 8, 2019 9:13 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
Time for "Starkitten"
To go use her litterbox
and then play bagpipes.
Haiku # 62052, February 8, 2019 8:16 pm ET
by Skirl of a Wee Leftover Haggis
Catholic priests taught me
To despise the Vatican:
Antichrist Fake Church
Haiku # 62051, February 8, 2019 8:12 pm ET
by You are gonna make a GREAT Protestant of course you will have to change your theology...
I know you taught Christ.
And also Catholic priests
how to rape children.

You are really old.
Symphony for the Devil.
Blood shit cum bottom.
Haiku # 62050, February 8, 2019 8:06 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
God don't write poems
Maybe he's a late bloomer
Beatnik daddy-o
Haiku # 62049, February 8, 2019 8:05 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
EVERYONE is LOST
Unless they are SAVED in Christ.
Don't give me that shit.
Haiku # 62048, February 8, 2019 8:02 pm ET
by Blow my fuse of Change your lightbulb
Wong Lofan just dreams
About beer and pussy past
en route to A.A.
Haiku # 62047, February 8, 2019 7:59 pm ET
by Sorry you grew old of Happens to Most of Us
No one here is lost
See, you've come to the right place
And I'm glad you're here
Haiku # 62046, February 8, 2019 7:58 pm ET
by Noticer of Details
I can't say enough
About how lost you all are.
So stay fucking lost.
Haiku # 62045, February 8, 2019 7:46 pm ET
by I am not a Loving Christian of Course
I dare you to come
To this pathetic website.
STEP UP you pussy.
Haiku # 62044, February 8, 2019 7:44 pm ET
by I Taught Almighty God About Poetry
Fuck you. Fuck your soul.
And your mind. And your spirit.
I hope you read this.
Haiku # 62043, February 8, 2019 7:39 pm ET
by I Taught Christ How To Love The Human Race
That's right, Bad Haiku.
Lots of foul thoughts from lost souls.
No one dragged you here.
Haiku # 62042, February 8, 2019 7:36 pm ET
by Babylonian Captivity of Go to Hell
DARTH. The guilty one.
Made me read about shit, shit,
Shit, shit and more shit.
Haiku # 62041, February 8, 2019 7:32 pm ET
by So wipe your Ass and get Over It of May You Be Spared
Yes, you are guilty
of loading the internet
with foul stinking shit.
Haiku # 62040, February 8, 2019 7:27 pm ET
by So wipe your mouth and wipe your mind
My wife has left me.
My inadequate haiku
drove her to Cuntfart.

Divorce court is next.
Cuntfart gets full custody
of all our children.

Please teach them haiku.
And sometimes take them fishing.
And please don't rape them.
Haiku # 62039, February 8, 2019 7:23 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
Hail, the Poo Flingers
Misunderstood throughout Time
Firm smelly handshake
Haiku # 62038, February 8, 2019 7:18 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of Emergency Room
Crime: Constipation
Sentenced to life in prison
Free Free set me free
Haiku # 62037, February 8, 2019 7:13 pm ET
by Last line read in sing song voice of Sting
at a certain age
the battle of the bulge is
literal gut wrench...
Haiku # 62036, February 8, 2019 7:13 pm ET
by vhs
Hey that kinda smarts
No it's burning the skin off
Cauterize the hole
Haiku # 62035, February 8, 2019 7:09 pm ET
by Torturer of Incompetent ERDoctor of Fantasy
He doesn't like poo
Read about it at med school
That shit is too real
Haiku # 62034, February 8, 2019 6:57 pm ET
by Observer of Idiots of This Emergency Room
In my fantasy
Enema for the doctor
Fill it with acid
Haiku # 62033, February 8, 2019 6:27 pm ET
by Cat Raver of Rubber Room
To tell you the truth
You start by not saying that
Will they ever learn?
Haiku # 62032, February 8, 2019 3:02 pm ET
by Liar of Liarsville
Lord, how I would hate
to be born Figpucker's wife.
Deep levels of Hell.
Haiku # 62031, February 8, 2019 2:24 pm ET
by Does she like Haiku?
They chased the Beatles
They chase my darning needle
It's Peenmania!
Haiku # 62030, February 8, 2019 1:06 pm ET
by Help! of Cavern Club (My wife's Cunt)
See my Royal Peen
By appointment to the Queen
Admire my gold knob
Haiku # 62029, February 8, 2019 1:04 pm ET
by Gold Nob Bob of Look for the mob
I peed in a sink
It's not as strange as you think
In London, England
Haiku # 62028, February 8, 2019 1:02 pm ET
by Downright Upright of Drinking a shandy outside the pub
What the hell is this?!
Tampon in the urinal!
Getting out of hand.
Haiku # 62027, February 8, 2019 9:59 am ET
by Transgender Substantiation Sanitation of I am toxic shocked!
We couldn
Haiku # 62026, February 8, 2019 6:48 am ET
by On the run(s)
Remember Taiwan
Cold beer, warm girls, China seas
Shu lin kou station

Bought some green jade
And some yards of bright red silk
Carter you bastard!
Haiku # 62025, February 8, 2019 6:02 am ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
How long has it been?
Since the last time I told you
Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt
Haiku # 62024, February 7, 2019 11:32 pm ET
by Cuntfish of cunt
Aluminum foil
Useful to wrap leftovers
Not as toilet paper
Haiku # 62023, February 7, 2019 9:19 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
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