Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 215 Days and 77132 Haiku later...

If Lofan turns out
to be Figpucker again
I will have a cow
Haiku # 61665, January 14, 2019 7:01 pm ET
by Darth F of the Lyrical Water Closet
Can't stop just can't stop
I need more and more RIGHT NOW
Oh God, bring it on
Haiku # 61664, January 14, 2019 6:58 pm ET
by Having Haiku Relapse of Please Call Poetic Intervention 4 Me
Busty Bus, ye are
nuthin' more than a HARLOT,
you foul Jezebel
Haiku # 61663, January 14, 2019 6:55 pm ET
by Tempt not the Master of Haiku
Now PREACH IT, sister.
Haiku goin' to bring them down
to the pit of HAIL !
Haiku # 61662, January 14, 2019 6:53 pm ET
by Snake-handlin' Church of Haiku
Haiku done bit me!
Oh Lordy I jess caint stop.
Clem, pass that bottle . . .
Haiku # 61661, January 14, 2019 6:48 pm ET
by Old-timer hidin' frum the Haiku fedral agints of Appalachian Moonshine
I remember you
I was hoping you
Haiku # 61660, January 14, 2019 6:46 pm ET
by Busty Bus Passenger
It was proof of God.
(Just like that Norwegian girl
With the grape lip-gloss)
Haiku # 61659, January 14, 2019 6:42 pm ET
by Nostalgia of Melancholic Memory of of Distant Past is Better
On that bus to AZ:
Guadalupe Huerta was her name
She sat next to me...
Haiku # 61658, January 14, 2019 6:38 pm ET
by And I almost lost it she was so gorgeous
Old Lofan . . . alone.
Contemplating Aztec boobs
from wise mountain-view.
Haiku # 61657, January 14, 2019 6:36 pm ET
by Imaginary Painting of Han Dynasty with Enchiladas
French fried monkey meat
Compliments of the house, sir
World's Oldest Virgin
Haiku # 61656, January 14, 2019 5:34 pm ET
by Honored guest at funny table of Under table shaking hands with your member
Lofan tell tall tales
Penis never been unwrapped
Now past Best Buy Date
Haiku # 61655, January 14, 2019 5:32 pm ET
by U know who of Peeking
Young Lofan- happy!
Many fine Chicas like Wong!
to bad Lofan- old...

In past days of yore
Lofan roamed the whole wide world
Chase girls and drink beer!

Now those days are gone
Wong Lofan sad oldster
Living in a hut.
Haiku # 61654, January 14, 2019 5:27 pm ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
Poet got horny
That's not tits. Those are his balls
You need an eye test

Lay off the masturbation
You're losing your sight
Haiku # 61653, January 14, 2019 5:24 pm ET
by Huge right hand of Why?
That Mexican girl
is MY angel and goddess.
Smile now, cry later...
Haiku # 61652, January 14, 2019 5:05 pm ET
by Virgin of Guadalupe's Hot Cousin
Haiku dissipates
the one thousand things of beer.
Until they return.
Haiku # 61651, January 14, 2019 5:03 pm ET
by Fong Lowan of Tsing Tao
Boob-gazing Lofan:
You have evoked the wrath of
Haiku # 61650, January 14, 2019 4:56 pm ET
by Coffee-tits of Azteca Abundance
Haiku # 61649, January 14, 2019 4:51 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
She served me coffee
And leaned down low on the bar
Her boobs! Outstanding!
Haiku # 61648, January 14, 2019 4:28 pm ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
That Mexican girl
Has the Azz of a Goddess
And the soul of a Angel
Haiku # 61647, January 14, 2019 4:04 pm ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
Curtain of thick fog
Won't be caught wanking today
Blow jizz all over
Haiku # 61646, January 14, 2019 3:58 pm ET
by Mayor Mcjizz
Cool beans amazeballs
Gwynneth Paltrow's steamed scrod cunt
Haiku # 61645, January 14, 2019 3:54 pm ET
by Bro
So lovely her face
Just one look can break your heart
Do not lose your mind.
Haiku # 61644, January 14, 2019 3:54 pm ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
Drank all of the beer
In Japan and Korea
Now its black coffee
Haiku # 61643, January 14, 2019 3:45 pm ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
Used to roam the world
Now a beat up old bastard
Never leave the yard
Haiku # 61642, January 14, 2019 3:34 pm ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
Used to roam the world
Now a best up old bastard
Never leave the yard
Haiku # 61641, January 14, 2019 3:22 pm ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
Haunted damn condo
Every thing broken
Every fooking day
Haiku # 61640, January 14, 2019 3:17 pm ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
I hear it a lot
but what does it really mean:
Weaponized Autism?
Haiku # 61639, January 14, 2019 11:53 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
The same old same old...
Same farts in elevators.
Dude--get over it.
Haiku # 61638, January 14, 2019 8:45 am ET
by Your Eminence of Flatulence
I can see it now
Dinosaurs of the old world
Having relations
Haiku # 61637, January 14, 2019 7:54 am ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northmoist
Woot woot!
Haiku # 61636, January 14, 2019 5:24 am ET
by Admin
As rare as hens' teeth
Good old fashioned poetry
Every poet stinks
Haiku # 61635, January 14, 2019 3:20 am ET
by Grandma Poet of Dildo Aisle
Who runs this web site
Probably old Juggaloes
Ringing Sevice Bell
Haiku # 61634, January 14, 2019 1:00 am ET
by Customer of Customer service
I'm so excited
I won first place this weekend
Smelly Ass Award
Haiku # 61633, January 14, 2019 12:57 am ET
by Win Win Situation of Elevator
Packed in like sardines
Stench in the elevator
I farted HA HA!
Haiku # 61632, January 13, 2019 11:21 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Yanking it so hard
Haiku # 61631, January 13, 2019 10:24 pm ET
by Chin hair puller
Hansel and Gretel
Left a Diarrhea Trail
Wiped their bums with bread
Haiku # 61630, January 13, 2019 9:37 pm ET
by Story time of Library
Follow the doot trail
Stinky long and winding road
Leads me to your door
Haiku # 61629, January 13, 2019 3:38 pm ET
by Walker of Trail Head
Your mind. Only that
would I consider as a
primitive toilet.
Haiku # 61628, January 13, 2019 1:44 pm ET
by Excretory Satori of Midori
Primitive toilet
Trusty, well-used guff bucket
My prized possession
Haiku # 61627, January 13, 2019 1:07 pm ET
by Guff bucket owner of Antiques Roadshow
Took a flying fuck
There goes that rolling doughnut
You missed it again
Haiku # 61626, January 13, 2019 7:41 am ET
by Observer of Hill
My Calvin Klein jeans
How many doughnuts ago?
Think I'll have one more
Haiku # 61625, January 13, 2019 7:39 am ET
by Nom Nom of Nom
Hegelian lies:
Education will save us.
We are all born good.
Haiku # 61624, January 13, 2019 6:04 am ET
by Inherent Truths of Calvinism
The street was closed off
Running off the Syllables
Like they do in Spain
Haiku # 61623, January 12, 2019 11:33 pm ET
by Tori A. Dorr
What's that they all say
Catching more flies with honey?
How 'bout close your legs
Haiku # 61622, January 12, 2019 11:29 pm ET
by Fly B'Gone of Pop Fly
Haiku-less weekend?
Get your poetry ON, people.
Verse won't wait for you.
Haiku # 61621, January 12, 2019 12:42 pm ET
by Dumbass drinking ale and staring into the fire
That Rita Hayworth . . .
I am watching her right now:
nineteen forty-six.
Haiku # 61620, January 11, 2019 9:35 pm ET
by Lover of 1940's femininity
The sunlight beam shone.
Window panes allowed it in.
Only dust mites ride.
Haiku # 61619, January 11, 2019 8:55 pm ET
by Jim again
She swatted the flies,
smashing them between her palms,
admiring death.
Haiku # 61618, January 11, 2019 8:49 pm ET
by Jim Kerns
Whatever you do
Don't share your big problem here.
We'll just make it verse.
Haiku # 61617, January 11, 2019 3:04 pm ET
by Seek the Lord while He may be found
Got a bad problem
Googled it. Nothing came up.
That's how fucked it is
Haiku # 61616, January 11, 2019 7:37 am ET
by Person who has a huge problem
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