Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 255 Days and 77188 Haiku later...

She swatted the flies,
smashing them between her palms,
admiring death.
Haiku # 61618, January 11, 2019 8:49 pm ET
by Jim Kerns
Whatever you do
Don't share your big problem here.
We'll just make it verse.
Haiku # 61617, January 11, 2019 3:04 pm ET
by Seek the Lord while He may be found
Got a bad problem
Googled it. Nothing came up.
That's how fucked it is
Haiku # 61616, January 11, 2019 7:37 am ET
by Person who has a huge problem
O Lucky Man. If
you've never seen it, find it
on YouTube. Great film.
Haiku # 61615, January 10, 2019 9:04 pm ET
by Alan Price of The Animals did the soundtrack
Crocodile dung
Substitute for Nutella
Here
Haiku # 61614, January 10, 2019 8:13 pm ET
by Lady with the Alligator purse
Shut down the toilets
Find the most foul chunk of poo
Make it President
Haiku # 61613, January 10, 2019 4:42 pm ET
by Stillwood B. of An improvement
Your unique grimace
What life has turned you into
A friendly monster
Haiku # 61612, January 10, 2019 4:33 pm ET
by For Cripes sake of Don't look
Tom Selleck's bathtub
The pubic hair collection
For your perusal
Haiku # 61611, January 10, 2019 3:29 pm ET
by Or arousal
Never had a clog
Looks like it's never been used
The Grimace, Explained.
Haiku # 61610, January 10, 2019 3:24 pm ET
by Bruce Springsteen's plumber of Tales of Constipation
Organic Pleasure
New! Banana Peel Condom!
Slippery when wet
Haiku # 61609, January 10, 2019 3:21 pm ET
by Mother Nature
The shitter is full
Whining and gnashing of teeth
A yunky surprise
Haiku # 61608, January 10, 2019 3:17 pm ET
by Grimace of New Paltz
toyota honda
mitsubishi yamaha
subaru sushi
Haiku # 61607, January 10, 2019 2:59 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I have an idea:
ask our president for a
Government shut-down!
Haiku # 61606, January 10, 2019 1:53 pm ET
by Admit it, he is the greatest statesman and philosopher since Jefferson, Lincoln and JFK
The one with nice tits?
I remember that lab well.
She liked me better.
Haiku # 61605, January 10, 2019 1:46 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Biological
Remember my lab partner
A nice set of tits
Haiku # 61604, January 10, 2019 1:34 pm ET
by Alumnus
Sanitized haiku
But you left out the best part
Crocodile Dong
Haiku # 61603, January 10, 2019 1:30 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Fetch my walking stick
The ornately carved handle
Crocodile
Haiku # 61602, January 10, 2019 1:29 pm ET
by Crikey of Down Under
And now, Ladies and Gentlemen,
a Haiku in the style of DF:


five syllables shit
seven syllables more shit
and finally, the stench...
Haiku # 61601, January 10, 2019 9:23 am ET
by Faithful follower of Farth Digpucker
Oh fervent poets!
Oh Haiku visionaries!
Don't you just LOVE Trump?
Haiku # 61600, January 10, 2019 8:28 am ET
by Reactions of Reactionaries
Keep slapping that ham,
oh grand Sensei of Haiku.
May it help your verse.
Haiku # 61599, January 10, 2019 8:25 am ET
by Syllababically Challenged of Sillabobbles

Free cassettes? Right on.
ABBA, Pink Floyd... forget Bjork.
I'll use my Walkman.
Haiku # 61598, January 10, 2019 8:16 am ET
by Syd Faltskog of That wicked syncopated ragtime
Turning to butter
Penis slapping. Running top speed
You'll never catch me
Haiku # 61597, January 10, 2019 6:17 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Human Pyramid
Bulimic Cheerleader Blows
Laxative Lava
Haiku # 61596, January 10, 2019 5:22 am ET
by Hawaiian Rainbows of HeyIwannaleiya
The drunken in laws
I pissed in their lemonade
I watch them drink it
Haiku # 61595, January 10, 2019 5:17 am ET
by Urine Goodhands
Sometimes when I run
My penis slaps my legs hard
Then I run faster
Haiku # 61594, January 10, 2019 5:14 am ET
by Insane Bolt of Ahead of You
Seeking employment
Acceptance in the workplace
Got a smelly bum
Haiku # 61593, January 10, 2019 5:11 am ET
by It won't come clean
Fill out all the forms
Magazine subscriptions come
Never pay for them
Haiku # 61592, January 10, 2019 5:07 am ET
by I take issue with this of Periodically
Lonely at the top
Haiku misers! Hoarders, all!
Just what will it take
Haiku # 61591, January 10, 2019 4:07 am ET
by Mooning You All of Barstool
The Real Starkitten
Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow
I am Starkitten
Haiku # 61590, January 9, 2019 3:09 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
Ten Penny Henry
Extra penny for your thoughts
They verge on dirty
Haiku # 61589, January 9, 2019 3:05 pm ET
by Come On Eileen of Ta loo rye ay
There is soup in my fly
Creme d Trousertrout
Haiku # 61588, January 9, 2019 3:00 pm ET
by Frenchy
Wardrobe Malfunction
Waiter, there
Haiku # 61587, January 9, 2019 2:59 pm ET
by Frenchy of Oooo lala
Columbia House
Free cassettes for VHS
ABBA, Pink Floyd, Bjork
Haiku # 61586, January 9, 2019 2:53 pm ET
by 12 for a penny
Escargot leaves trail
Are we there yet? No, not yet.
Are we there yet? Soon
Haiku # 61585, January 9, 2019 2:51 pm ET
by Almost there of Snail trail
Enjoyable when you are hella baked
Like Funyuns and basically all food
Haiku # 61584, January 9, 2019 1:58 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I would imagine
This website
Haiku # 61583, January 9, 2019 1:56 pm ET
by Puffgiggles of Gigglepuffs
I hope v.h.s.
is still alive and typing.
he seemed so depressed.
Haiku # 61582, January 9, 2019 8:32 am ET
by Downeast of Southwest
How much puck would a
Figpucker puck if a Fig
pucker could puck fig?

Kitten versus star:
Feline musings wander far
Bookish avatar
Haiku # 61581, January 9, 2019 8:28 am ET
by Haiku Disinformation of Front Operation
More verse about Trump...
greatest statesman and leader
since old Abe Lincoln!
Haiku # 61580, January 9, 2019 8:19 am ET
by Donaldian Sources of Poetic Inspiration
A morning quickie:
getting it on with my muse
Thanks love, that was fun.
Haiku # 61579, January 9, 2019 8:15 am ET
by Wham Bam of Thank You Haiku
Under surveillance
No ordinary pervert
Dad's got a hard on
Haiku # 61578, January 8, 2019 11:09 pm ET
by Ivanka Trump of Toadstool polisher
Books were overdue
LIBRARIAN STABS BOOKWORM!
Throw the book at him
Haiku # 61577, January 8, 2019 10:58 pm ET
by Fitting Punishment
Quiet Library
Clicking of high heels. A scream.
Murder Mystery
Haiku # 61576, January 8, 2019 10:53 pm ET
by Reading Rainbow
I'm gonna catch heck
Leaving this tremendous poop
In your toilet bowl
Haiku # 61575, January 8, 2019 10:50 pm ET
by Don't Mind Me of Collision Course with Colitis
Origami Fold
Defecate Japanese style
Delicate brown bird
Haiku # 61574, January 8, 2019 8:18 pm ET
by One ply
A wall made of bricks
Each one gold. Each one I shit.
Tremendous, my bricks.
Haiku # 61573, January 8, 2019 7:25 pm ET
by Toadstool dick
Nasal Spelunking
Bring home a green souvenir
On your fingertip
Haiku # 61572, January 8, 2019 6:20 pm ET
by Pokey of Poconos ( Beautiful Mt. Airy Lodge)
Where is Figpucker?
Joined the priesthood?Arrested?
Need some of his sass
Haiku # 61571, January 8, 2019 6:13 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Neurotic liberals
As far as the eye can see
Projecting their peeve
Haiku # 61570, January 8, 2019 3:47 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Get well soon, poet
Prescription Refillable
Healing Syllables
Haiku # 61569, January 8, 2019 2:51 pm ET
by Doc sk of Bad Haiku
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