Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 26 Days and 77406 Haiku later...

Shut down the toilets
Find the most foul chunk of poo
Make it President
Haiku # 61613, January 10, 2019 4:42 pm ET
by Stillwood B. of An improvement
Your unique grimace
What life has turned you into
A friendly monster
Haiku # 61612, January 10, 2019 4:33 pm ET
by For Cripes sake of Don't look
Tom Selleck's bathtub
The pubic hair collection
For your perusal
Haiku # 61611, January 10, 2019 3:29 pm ET
by Or arousal
Never had a clog
Looks like it's never been used
The Grimace, Explained.
Haiku # 61610, January 10, 2019 3:24 pm ET
by Bruce Springsteen's plumber of Tales of Constipation
Organic Pleasure
New! Banana Peel Condom!
Slippery when wet
Haiku # 61609, January 10, 2019 3:21 pm ET
by Mother Nature
The shitter is full
Whining and gnashing of teeth
A yunky surprise
Haiku # 61608, January 10, 2019 3:17 pm ET
by Grimace of New Paltz
toyota honda
mitsubishi yamaha
subaru sushi
Haiku # 61607, January 10, 2019 2:59 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I have an idea:
ask our president for a
Government shut-down!
Haiku # 61606, January 10, 2019 1:53 pm ET
by Admit it, he is the greatest statesman and philosopher since Jefferson, Lincoln and JFK
The one with nice tits?
I remember that lab well.
She liked me better.
Haiku # 61605, January 10, 2019 1:46 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Biological
Remember my lab partner
A nice set of tits
Haiku # 61604, January 10, 2019 1:34 pm ET
by Alumnus
Sanitized haiku
But you left out the best part
Crocodile Dong
Haiku # 61603, January 10, 2019 1:30 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Fetch my walking stick
The ornately carved handle
Crocodile
Haiku # 61602, January 10, 2019 1:29 pm ET
by Crikey of Down Under
And now, Ladies and Gentlemen,
a Haiku in the style of DF:


five syllables shit
seven syllables more shit
and finally, the stench...
Haiku # 61601, January 10, 2019 9:23 am ET
by Faithful follower of Farth Digpucker
Oh fervent poets!
Oh Haiku visionaries!
Don't you just LOVE Trump?
Haiku # 61600, January 10, 2019 8:28 am ET
by Reactions of Reactionaries
Keep slapping that ham,
oh grand Sensei of Haiku.
May it help your verse.
Haiku # 61599, January 10, 2019 8:25 am ET
by Syllababically Challenged of Sillabobbles

Free cassettes? Right on.
ABBA, Pink Floyd... forget Bjork.
I'll use my Walkman.
Haiku # 61598, January 10, 2019 8:16 am ET
by Syd Faltskog of That wicked syncopated ragtime
Turning to butter
Penis slapping. Running top speed
You'll never catch me
Haiku # 61597, January 10, 2019 6:17 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Human Pyramid
Bulimic Cheerleader Blows
Laxative Lava
Haiku # 61596, January 10, 2019 5:22 am ET
by Hawaiian Rainbows of HeyIwannaleiya
The drunken in laws
I pissed in their lemonade
I watch them drink it
Haiku # 61595, January 10, 2019 5:17 am ET
by Urine Goodhands
Sometimes when I run
My penis slaps my legs hard
Then I run faster
Haiku # 61594, January 10, 2019 5:14 am ET
by Insane Bolt of Ahead of You
Seeking employment
Acceptance in the workplace
Got a smelly bum
Haiku # 61593, January 10, 2019 5:11 am ET
by It won't come clean
Fill out all the forms
Magazine subscriptions come
Never pay for them
Haiku # 61592, January 10, 2019 5:07 am ET
by I take issue with this of Periodically
Lonely at the top
Haiku misers! Hoarders, all!
Just what will it take
Haiku # 61591, January 10, 2019 4:07 am ET
by Mooning You All of Barstool
The Real Starkitten
Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow
I am Starkitten
Haiku # 61590, January 9, 2019 3:09 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
Ten Penny Henry
Extra penny for your thoughts
They verge on dirty
Haiku # 61589, January 9, 2019 3:05 pm ET
by Come On Eileen of Ta loo rye ay
There is soup in my fly
Creme d Trousertrout
Haiku # 61588, January 9, 2019 3:00 pm ET
by Frenchy
Wardrobe Malfunction
Waiter, there
Haiku # 61587, January 9, 2019 2:59 pm ET
by Frenchy of Oooo lala
Columbia House
Free cassettes for VHS
ABBA, Pink Floyd, Bjork
Haiku # 61586, January 9, 2019 2:53 pm ET
by 12 for a penny
Escargot leaves trail
Are we there yet? No, not yet.
Are we there yet? Soon
Haiku # 61585, January 9, 2019 2:51 pm ET
by Almost there of Snail trail
Enjoyable when you are hella baked
Like Funyuns and basically all food
Haiku # 61584, January 9, 2019 1:58 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I would imagine
This website
Haiku # 61583, January 9, 2019 1:56 pm ET
by Puffgiggles of Gigglepuffs
I hope v.h.s.
is still alive and typing.
he seemed so depressed.
Haiku # 61582, January 9, 2019 8:32 am ET
by Downeast of Southwest
How much puck would a
Figpucker puck if a Fig
pucker could puck fig?

Kitten versus star:
Feline musings wander far
Bookish avatar
Haiku # 61581, January 9, 2019 8:28 am ET
by Haiku Disinformation of Front Operation
More verse about Trump...
greatest statesman and leader
since old Abe Lincoln!
Haiku # 61580, January 9, 2019 8:19 am ET
by Donaldian Sources of Poetic Inspiration
A morning quickie:
getting it on with my muse
Thanks love, that was fun.
Haiku # 61579, January 9, 2019 8:15 am ET
by Wham Bam of Thank You Haiku
Under surveillance
No ordinary pervert
Dad's got a hard on
Haiku # 61578, January 8, 2019 11:09 pm ET
by Ivanka Trump of Toadstool polisher
Books were overdue
LIBRARIAN STABS BOOKWORM!
Throw the book at him
Haiku # 61577, January 8, 2019 10:58 pm ET
by Fitting Punishment
Quiet Library
Clicking of high heels. A scream.
Murder Mystery
Haiku # 61576, January 8, 2019 10:53 pm ET
by Reading Rainbow
I'm gonna catch heck
Leaving this tremendous poop
In your toilet bowl
Haiku # 61575, January 8, 2019 10:50 pm ET
by Don't Mind Me of Collision Course with Colitis
Origami Fold
Defecate Japanese style
Delicate brown bird
Haiku # 61574, January 8, 2019 8:18 pm ET
by One ply
A wall made of bricks
Each one gold. Each one I shit.
Tremendous, my bricks.
Haiku # 61573, January 8, 2019 7:25 pm ET
by Toadstool dick
Nasal Spelunking
Bring home a green souvenir
On your fingertip
Haiku # 61572, January 8, 2019 6:20 pm ET
by Pokey of Poconos ( Beautiful Mt. Airy Lodge)
Where is Figpucker?
Joined the priesthood?Arrested?
Need some of his sass
Haiku # 61571, January 8, 2019 6:13 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Neurotic liberals
As far as the eye can see
Projecting their peeve
Haiku # 61570, January 8, 2019 3:47 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Get well soon, poet
Prescription Refillable
Healing Syllables
Haiku # 61569, January 8, 2019 2:51 pm ET
by Doc sk of Bad Haiku
Crud won't go away
I'll stay home again today
Call or text, okay
Haiku # 61568, January 8, 2019 1:14 pm ET
by pudding tame of Earth
Admit your mistake
Voting for Angry Orange
What were you thinking?
Haiku # 61567, January 8, 2019 10:15 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Racists hate Cheetos.
Haters hate our president.
(We know he's a saint.)
Haiku # 61566, January 8, 2019 7:54 am ET
by Neurotic Projections of The Left
Spiritual gas
Rising sky high from my ass
This poop soon shall pass
Haiku # 61565, January 8, 2019 7:48 am ET
by Passwinder of Holditinder
Survival Food Kit
One fat mama cass sandwich
With a moistmaker
Haiku # 61564, January 8, 2019 7:20 am ET
by Prepared
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