BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
23 Years
7 Days
66436 Haikus
Shut down the toilets
Find the most foul chunk of poo
Make it President
Haiku #61613, by Stillwood B. of An improvement
January 10, 2019 4:42 pm ET

Your unique grimace
What life has turned you into
A friendly monster
Haiku #61612, by For Cripes sake of Don't look
January 10, 2019 4:33 pm ET

Tom Selleck's bathtub
The pubic hair collection
For your perusal
Haiku #61611, by Or arousal
January 10, 2019 3:29 pm ET

Never had a clog
Looks like it's never been used
The Grimace, Explained.
Haiku #61610, by Bruce Springsteen's plumber of Tales of Constipation
January 10, 2019 3:24 pm ET

Organic Pleasure
New! Banana Peel Condom!
Slippery when wet
Haiku #61609, by Mother Nature
January 10, 2019 3:21 pm ET

The shitter is full
Whining and gnashing of teeth
A yunky surprise
Haiku #61608, by Grimace of New Paltz
January 10, 2019 3:17 pm ET

toyota honda
mitsubishi yamaha
subaru sushi
Haiku #61607, by Anonymous Poet
January 10, 2019 2:59 pm ET

I have an idea:
ask our president for a
Government shut-down!
Haiku #61606, by Admit it, he is the greatest statesman and philosopher since Jefferson, Lincoln and JFK
January 10, 2019 1:53 pm ET

The one with nice tits?
I remember that lab well.
She liked me better.
Haiku #61605, by Anonymous Poet
January 10, 2019 1:46 pm ET

Remember my lab partner
A nice set of tits
Haiku #61604, by Alumnus
January 10, 2019 1:34 pm ET

Sanitized haiku
But you left out the best part
Crocodile Dong
Haiku #61603, by Anonymous Poet
January 10, 2019 1:30 pm ET

Fetch my walking stick
The ornately carved handle
Haiku #61602, by Crikey of Down Under
January 10, 2019 1:29 pm ET

And now, Ladies and Gentlemen,
a Haiku in the style of DF:

five syllables shit
seven syllables more shit
and finally, the stench...
Haiku #61601, by Faithful follower of Farth Digpucker
January 10, 2019 9:23 am ET

Oh fervent poets!
Oh Haiku visionaries!
Don't you just LOVE Trump?
Haiku #61600, by Reactions of Reactionaries
January 10, 2019 8:28 am ET

Keep slapping that ham,
oh grand Sensei of Haiku.
May it help your verse.
Haiku #61599, by Syllababically Challenged of Sillabobbles
January 10, 2019 8:25 am ET

Free cassettes? Right on.
ABBA, Pink Floyd... forget Bjork.
I'll use my Walkman.
Haiku #61598, by Syd Faltskog of That wicked syncopated ragtime
January 10, 2019 8:16 am ET

Turning to butter
Penis slapping. Running top speed
You'll never catch me
Haiku #61597, by Anonymous Poet
January 10, 2019 6:17 am ET

Human Pyramid
Bulimic Cheerleader Blows
Laxative Lava
Haiku #61596, by Hawaiian Rainbows of HeyIwannaleiya
January 10, 2019 5:22 am ET

The drunken in laws
I pissed in their lemonade
I watch them drink it
Haiku #61595, by Urine Goodhands
January 10, 2019 5:17 am ET

Sometimes when I run
My penis slaps my legs hard
Then I run faster
Haiku #61594, by Insane Bolt of Ahead of You
January 10, 2019 5:14 am ET

Seeking employment
Acceptance in the workplace
Got a smelly bum
Haiku #61593, by It won't come clean
January 10, 2019 5:11 am ET

Fill out all the forms
Magazine subscriptions come
Never pay for them
Haiku #61592, by I take issue with this of Periodically
January 10, 2019 5:07 am ET

Lonely at the top
Haiku misers! Hoarders, all!
Just what will it take
Haiku #61591, by Mooning You All of Barstool
January 10, 2019 4:07 am ET

The Real Starkitten
Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow
I am Starkitten
Haiku #61590, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
January 9, 2019 3:09 pm ET

Ten Penny Henry
Extra penny for your thoughts
They verge on dirty
Haiku #61589, by Come On Eileen of Ta loo rye ay
January 9, 2019 3:05 pm ET

There is soup in my fly
Creme d Trousertrout
Haiku #61588, by Frenchy
January 9, 2019 3:00 pm ET

Wardrobe Malfunction
Waiter, there
Haiku #61587, by Frenchy of Oooo lala
January 9, 2019 2:59 pm ET

Columbia House
Free cassettes for VHS
ABBA, Pink Floyd, Bjork
Haiku #61586, by 12 for a penny
January 9, 2019 2:53 pm ET

Escargot leaves trail
Are we there yet? No, not yet.
Are we there yet? Soon
Haiku #61585, by Almost there of Snail trail
January 9, 2019 2:51 pm ET

Enjoyable when you are hella baked
Like Funyuns and basically all food
Haiku #61584, by Anonymous Poet
January 9, 2019 1:58 pm ET

I would imagine
This website
Haiku #61583, by Puffgiggles of Gigglepuffs
January 9, 2019 1:56 pm ET

I hope v.h.s.
is still alive and typing.
he seemed so depressed.
Haiku #61582, by Downeast of Southwest
January 9, 2019 8:32 am ET

How much puck would a
Figpucker puck if a Fig
pucker could puck fig?

Kitten versus star:
Feline musings wander far
Bookish avatar
Haiku #61581, by Haiku Disinformation of Front Operation
January 9, 2019 8:28 am ET

More verse about Trump...
greatest statesman and leader
since old Abe Lincoln!
Haiku #61580, by Donaldian Sources of Poetic Inspiration
January 9, 2019 8:19 am ET

A morning quickie:
getting it on with my muse
Thanks love, that was fun.
Haiku #61579, by Wham Bam of Thank You Haiku
January 9, 2019 8:15 am ET

Under surveillance
No ordinary pervert
Dad's got a hard on
Haiku #61578, by Ivanka Trump of Toadstool polisher
January 8, 2019 11:09 pm ET

Books were overdue
Throw the book at him
Haiku #61577, by Fitting Punishment
January 8, 2019 10:58 pm ET

Quiet Library
Clicking of high heels. A scream.
Murder Mystery
Haiku #61576, by Reading Rainbow
January 8, 2019 10:53 pm ET

I'm gonna catch heck
Leaving this tremendous poop
In your toilet bowl
Haiku #61575, by Don't Mind Me of Collision Course with Colitis
January 8, 2019 10:50 pm ET

Origami Fold
Defecate Japanese style
Delicate brown bird
Haiku #61574, by One ply
January 8, 2019 8:18 pm ET

A wall made of bricks
Each one gold. Each one I shit.
Tremendous, my bricks.
Haiku #61573, by Toadstool dick
January 8, 2019 7:25 pm ET

Nasal Spelunking
Bring home a green souvenir
On your fingertip
Haiku #61572, by Pokey of Poconos ( Beautiful Mt. Airy Lodge)
January 8, 2019 6:20 pm ET

Where is Figpucker?
Joined the priesthood?Arrested?
Need some of his sass
Haiku #61571, by Anonymous Poet
January 8, 2019 6:13 pm ET

Neurotic liberals
As far as the eye can see
Projecting their peeve
Haiku #61570, by Anonymous Poet
January 8, 2019 3:47 pm ET

Get well soon, poet
Prescription Refillable
Healing Syllables
Haiku #61569, by Doc sk of Bad Haiku
January 8, 2019 2:51 pm ET

Crud won't go away
I'll stay home again today
Call or text, okay
Haiku #61568, by pudding tame of Earth
January 8, 2019 1:14 pm ET

Admit your mistake
Voting for Angry Orange
What were you thinking?
Haiku #61567, by Anonymous Poet
January 8, 2019 10:15 am ET

Racists hate Cheetos.
Haters hate our president.
(We know he's a saint.)
Haiku #61566, by Neurotic Projections of The Left
January 8, 2019 7:54 am ET

Spiritual gas
Rising sky high from my ass
This poop soon shall pass
Haiku #61565, by Passwinder of Holditinder
January 8, 2019 7:48 am ET

Survival Food Kit
One fat mama cass sandwich
With a moistmaker
Haiku #61564, by Prepared
January 8, 2019 7:20 am ET