Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 255 Days and 77188 Haiku later...

Follow the doot trail
Stinky long and winding road
Leads me to your door
Haiku # 61629, January 13, 2019 3:38 pm ET
by Walker of Trail Head
Your mind. Only that
would I consider as a
primitive toilet.
Haiku # 61628, January 13, 2019 1:44 pm ET
by Excretory Satori of Midori
Primitive toilet
Trusty, well-used guff bucket
My prized possession
Haiku # 61627, January 13, 2019 1:07 pm ET
by Guff bucket owner of Antiques Roadshow
Took a flying fuck
There goes that rolling doughnut
You missed it again
Haiku # 61626, January 13, 2019 7:41 am ET
by Observer of Hill
My Calvin Klein jeans
How many doughnuts ago?
Think I'll have one more
Haiku # 61625, January 13, 2019 7:39 am ET
by Nom Nom of Nom
Hegelian lies:
Education will save us.
We are all born good.
Haiku # 61624, January 13, 2019 6:04 am ET
by Inherent Truths of Calvinism
The street was closed off
Running off the Syllables
Like they do in Spain
Haiku # 61623, January 12, 2019 11:33 pm ET
by Tori A. Dorr
What's that they all say
Catching more flies with honey?
How 'bout close your legs
Haiku # 61622, January 12, 2019 11:29 pm ET
by Fly B'Gone of Pop Fly
Haiku-less weekend?
Get your poetry ON, people.
Verse won't wait for you.
Haiku # 61621, January 12, 2019 12:42 pm ET
by Dumbass drinking ale and staring into the fire
That Rita Hayworth . . .
I am watching her right now:
nineteen forty-six.
Haiku # 61620, January 11, 2019 9:35 pm ET
by Lover of 1940's femininity
The sunlight beam shone.
Window panes allowed it in.
Only dust mites ride.
Haiku # 61619, January 11, 2019 8:55 pm ET
by Jim again
She swatted the flies,
smashing them between her palms,
admiring death.
Haiku # 61618, January 11, 2019 8:49 pm ET
by Jim Kerns
Whatever you do
Don't share your big problem here.
We'll just make it verse.
Haiku # 61617, January 11, 2019 3:04 pm ET
by Seek the Lord while He may be found
Got a bad problem
Googled it. Nothing came up.
That's how fucked it is
Haiku # 61616, January 11, 2019 7:37 am ET
by Person who has a huge problem
O Lucky Man. If
you've never seen it, find it
on YouTube. Great film.
Haiku # 61615, January 10, 2019 9:04 pm ET
by Alan Price of The Animals did the soundtrack
Crocodile dung
Substitute for Nutella
Haiku # 61614, January 10, 2019 8:13 pm ET
by Lady with the Alligator purse
Shut down the toilets
Find the most foul chunk of poo
Make it President
Haiku # 61613, January 10, 2019 4:42 pm ET
by Stillwood B. of An improvement
Your unique grimace
What life has turned you into
A friendly monster
Haiku # 61612, January 10, 2019 4:33 pm ET
by For Cripes sake of Don't look
Tom Selleck's bathtub
The pubic hair collection
For your perusal
Haiku # 61611, January 10, 2019 3:29 pm ET
by Or arousal
Never had a clog
Looks like it's never been used
The Grimace, Explained.
Haiku # 61610, January 10, 2019 3:24 pm ET
by Bruce Springsteen's plumber of Tales of Constipation
Organic Pleasure
New! Banana Peel Condom!
Slippery when wet
Haiku # 61609, January 10, 2019 3:21 pm ET
by Mother Nature
The shitter is full
Whining and gnashing of teeth
A yunky surprise
Haiku # 61608, January 10, 2019 3:17 pm ET
by Grimace of New Paltz
toyota honda
mitsubishi yamaha
subaru sushi
Haiku # 61607, January 10, 2019 2:59 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I have an idea:
ask our president for a
Government shut-down!
Haiku # 61606, January 10, 2019 1:53 pm ET
by Admit it, he is the greatest statesman and philosopher since Jefferson, Lincoln and JFK
The one with nice tits?
I remember that lab well.
She liked me better.
Haiku # 61605, January 10, 2019 1:46 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Remember my lab partner
A nice set of tits
Haiku # 61604, January 10, 2019 1:34 pm ET
by Alumnus
Sanitized haiku
But you left out the best part
Crocodile Dong
Haiku # 61603, January 10, 2019 1:30 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Fetch my walking stick
The ornately carved handle
Haiku # 61602, January 10, 2019 1:29 pm ET
by Crikey of Down Under
And now, Ladies and Gentlemen,
a Haiku in the style of DF:

five syllables shit
seven syllables more shit
and finally, the stench...
Haiku # 61601, January 10, 2019 9:23 am ET
by Faithful follower of Farth Digpucker
Oh fervent poets!
Oh Haiku visionaries!
Don't you just LOVE Trump?
Haiku # 61600, January 10, 2019 8:28 am ET
by Reactions of Reactionaries
Keep slapping that ham,
oh grand Sensei of Haiku.
May it help your verse.
Haiku # 61599, January 10, 2019 8:25 am ET
by Syllababically Challenged of Sillabobbles

Free cassettes? Right on.
ABBA, Pink Floyd... forget Bjork.
I'll use my Walkman.
Haiku # 61598, January 10, 2019 8:16 am ET
by Syd Faltskog of That wicked syncopated ragtime
Turning to butter
Penis slapping. Running top speed
You'll never catch me
Haiku # 61597, January 10, 2019 6:17 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Human Pyramid
Bulimic Cheerleader Blows
Laxative Lava
Haiku # 61596, January 10, 2019 5:22 am ET
by Hawaiian Rainbows of HeyIwannaleiya
The drunken in laws
I pissed in their lemonade
I watch them drink it
Haiku # 61595, January 10, 2019 5:17 am ET
by Urine Goodhands
Sometimes when I run
My penis slaps my legs hard
Then I run faster
Haiku # 61594, January 10, 2019 5:14 am ET
by Insane Bolt of Ahead of You
Seeking employment
Acceptance in the workplace
Got a smelly bum
Haiku # 61593, January 10, 2019 5:11 am ET
by It won't come clean
Fill out all the forms
Magazine subscriptions come
Never pay for them
Haiku # 61592, January 10, 2019 5:07 am ET
by I take issue with this of Periodically
Lonely at the top
Haiku misers! Hoarders, all!
Just what will it take
Haiku # 61591, January 10, 2019 4:07 am ET
by Mooning You All of Barstool
The Real Starkitten
Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow
I am Starkitten
Haiku # 61590, January 9, 2019 3:09 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
Ten Penny Henry
Extra penny for your thoughts
They verge on dirty
Haiku # 61589, January 9, 2019 3:05 pm ET
by Come On Eileen of Ta loo rye ay
There is soup in my fly
Creme d Trousertrout
Haiku # 61588, January 9, 2019 3:00 pm ET
by Frenchy
Wardrobe Malfunction
Waiter, there
Haiku # 61587, January 9, 2019 2:59 pm ET
by Frenchy of Oooo lala
Columbia House
Free cassettes for VHS
ABBA, Pink Floyd, Bjork
Haiku # 61586, January 9, 2019 2:53 pm ET
by 12 for a penny
Escargot leaves trail
Are we there yet? No, not yet.
Are we there yet? Soon
Haiku # 61585, January 9, 2019 2:51 pm ET
by Almost there of Snail trail
Enjoyable when you are hella baked
Like Funyuns and basically all food
Haiku # 61584, January 9, 2019 1:58 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I would imagine
This website
Haiku # 61583, January 9, 2019 1:56 pm ET
by Puffgiggles of Gigglepuffs
I hope v.h.s.
is still alive and typing.
he seemed so depressed.
Haiku # 61582, January 9, 2019 8:32 am ET
by Downeast of Southwest
How much puck would a
Figpucker puck if a Fig
pucker could puck fig?

Kitten versus star:
Feline musings wander far
Bookish avatar
Haiku # 61581, January 9, 2019 8:28 am ET
by Haiku Disinformation of Front Operation
More verse about Trump...
greatest statesman and leader
since old Abe Lincoln!
Haiku # 61580, January 9, 2019 8:19 am ET
by Donaldian Sources of Poetic Inspiration
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