Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 255 Days and 77188 Haiku later...

Woot woot!
Haiku # 61636, January 14, 2019 5:24 am ET
by Admin
As rare as hens' teeth
Good old fashioned poetry
Every poet stinks
Haiku # 61635, January 14, 2019 3:20 am ET
by Grandma Poet of Dildo Aisle
Who runs this web site
Probably old Juggaloes
Ringing Sevice Bell
Haiku # 61634, January 14, 2019 1:00 am ET
by Customer of Customer service
I'm so excited
I won first place this weekend
Smelly Ass Award
Haiku # 61633, January 14, 2019 12:57 am ET
by Win Win Situation of Elevator
Packed in like sardines
Stench in the elevator
I farted HA HA!
Haiku # 61632, January 13, 2019 11:21 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Yanking it so hard
Haiku # 61631, January 13, 2019 10:24 pm ET
by Chin hair puller
Hansel and Gretel
Left a Diarrhea Trail
Wiped their bums with bread
Haiku # 61630, January 13, 2019 9:37 pm ET
by Story time of Library
Follow the doot trail
Stinky long and winding road
Leads me to your door
Haiku # 61629, January 13, 2019 3:38 pm ET
by Walker of Trail Head
Your mind. Only that
would I consider as a
primitive toilet.
Haiku # 61628, January 13, 2019 1:44 pm ET
by Excretory Satori of Midori
Primitive toilet
Trusty, well-used guff bucket
My prized possession
Haiku # 61627, January 13, 2019 1:07 pm ET
by Guff bucket owner of Antiques Roadshow
Took a flying fuck
There goes that rolling doughnut
You missed it again
Haiku # 61626, January 13, 2019 7:41 am ET
by Observer of Hill
My Calvin Klein jeans
How many doughnuts ago?
Think I'll have one more
Haiku # 61625, January 13, 2019 7:39 am ET
by Nom Nom of Nom
Hegelian lies:
Education will save us.
We are all born good.
Haiku # 61624, January 13, 2019 6:04 am ET
by Inherent Truths of Calvinism
The street was closed off
Running off the Syllables
Like they do in Spain
Haiku # 61623, January 12, 2019 11:33 pm ET
by Tori A. Dorr
What's that they all say
Catching more flies with honey?
How 'bout close your legs
Haiku # 61622, January 12, 2019 11:29 pm ET
by Fly B'Gone of Pop Fly
Haiku-less weekend?
Get your poetry ON, people.
Verse won't wait for you.
Haiku # 61621, January 12, 2019 12:42 pm ET
by Dumbass drinking ale and staring into the fire
That Rita Hayworth . . .
I am watching her right now:
nineteen forty-six.
Haiku # 61620, January 11, 2019 9:35 pm ET
by Lover of 1940's femininity
The sunlight beam shone.
Window panes allowed it in.
Only dust mites ride.
Haiku # 61619, January 11, 2019 8:55 pm ET
by Jim again
She swatted the flies,
smashing them between her palms,
admiring death.
Haiku # 61618, January 11, 2019 8:49 pm ET
by Jim Kerns
Whatever you do
Don't share your big problem here.
We'll just make it verse.
Haiku # 61617, January 11, 2019 3:04 pm ET
by Seek the Lord while He may be found
Got a bad problem
Googled it. Nothing came up.
That's how fucked it is
Haiku # 61616, January 11, 2019 7:37 am ET
by Person who has a huge problem
O Lucky Man. If
you've never seen it, find it
on YouTube. Great film.
Haiku # 61615, January 10, 2019 9:04 pm ET
by Alan Price of The Animals did the soundtrack
Crocodile dung
Substitute for Nutella
Haiku # 61614, January 10, 2019 8:13 pm ET
by Lady with the Alligator purse
Shut down the toilets
Find the most foul chunk of poo
Make it President
Haiku # 61613, January 10, 2019 4:42 pm ET
by Stillwood B. of An improvement
Your unique grimace
What life has turned you into
A friendly monster
Haiku # 61612, January 10, 2019 4:33 pm ET
by For Cripes sake of Don't look
Tom Selleck's bathtub
The pubic hair collection
For your perusal
Haiku # 61611, January 10, 2019 3:29 pm ET
by Or arousal
Never had a clog
Looks like it's never been used
The Grimace, Explained.
Haiku # 61610, January 10, 2019 3:24 pm ET
by Bruce Springsteen's plumber of Tales of Constipation
Organic Pleasure
New! Banana Peel Condom!
Slippery when wet
Haiku # 61609, January 10, 2019 3:21 pm ET
by Mother Nature
The shitter is full
Whining and gnashing of teeth
A yunky surprise
Haiku # 61608, January 10, 2019 3:17 pm ET
by Grimace of New Paltz
toyota honda
mitsubishi yamaha
subaru sushi
Haiku # 61607, January 10, 2019 2:59 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I have an idea:
ask our president for a
Government shut-down!
Haiku # 61606, January 10, 2019 1:53 pm ET
by Admit it, he is the greatest statesman and philosopher since Jefferson, Lincoln and JFK
The one with nice tits?
I remember that lab well.
She liked me better.
Haiku # 61605, January 10, 2019 1:46 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Remember my lab partner
A nice set of tits
Haiku # 61604, January 10, 2019 1:34 pm ET
by Alumnus
Sanitized haiku
But you left out the best part
Crocodile Dong
Haiku # 61603, January 10, 2019 1:30 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Fetch my walking stick
The ornately carved handle
Haiku # 61602, January 10, 2019 1:29 pm ET
by Crikey of Down Under
And now, Ladies and Gentlemen,
a Haiku in the style of DF:

five syllables shit
seven syllables more shit
and finally, the stench...
Haiku # 61601, January 10, 2019 9:23 am ET
by Faithful follower of Farth Digpucker
Oh fervent poets!
Oh Haiku visionaries!
Don't you just LOVE Trump?
Haiku # 61600, January 10, 2019 8:28 am ET
by Reactions of Reactionaries
Keep slapping that ham,
oh grand Sensei of Haiku.
May it help your verse.
Haiku # 61599, January 10, 2019 8:25 am ET
by Syllababically Challenged of Sillabobbles

Free cassettes? Right on.
ABBA, Pink Floyd... forget Bjork.
I'll use my Walkman.
Haiku # 61598, January 10, 2019 8:16 am ET
by Syd Faltskog of That wicked syncopated ragtime
Turning to butter
Penis slapping. Running top speed
You'll never catch me
Haiku # 61597, January 10, 2019 6:17 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Human Pyramid
Bulimic Cheerleader Blows
Laxative Lava
Haiku # 61596, January 10, 2019 5:22 am ET
by Hawaiian Rainbows of HeyIwannaleiya
The drunken in laws
I pissed in their lemonade
I watch them drink it
Haiku # 61595, January 10, 2019 5:17 am ET
by Urine Goodhands
Sometimes when I run
My penis slaps my legs hard
Then I run faster
Haiku # 61594, January 10, 2019 5:14 am ET
by Insane Bolt of Ahead of You
Seeking employment
Acceptance in the workplace
Got a smelly bum
Haiku # 61593, January 10, 2019 5:11 am ET
by It won't come clean
Fill out all the forms
Magazine subscriptions come
Never pay for them
Haiku # 61592, January 10, 2019 5:07 am ET
by I take issue with this of Periodically
Lonely at the top
Haiku misers! Hoarders, all!
Just what will it take
Haiku # 61591, January 10, 2019 4:07 am ET
by Mooning You All of Barstool
The Real Starkitten
Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow
I am Starkitten
Haiku # 61590, January 9, 2019 3:09 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
Ten Penny Henry
Extra penny for your thoughts
They verge on dirty
Haiku # 61589, January 9, 2019 3:05 pm ET
by Come On Eileen of Ta loo rye ay
There is soup in my fly
Creme d Trousertrout
Haiku # 61588, January 9, 2019 3:00 pm ET
by Frenchy
Wardrobe Malfunction
Waiter, there
Haiku # 61587, January 9, 2019 2:59 pm ET
by Frenchy of Oooo lala
< 50 Less Recent Haiku 50 More Recent Haiku >