BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
23 Years
264 Days
67785 Haikus
I'm so frightened. God I'm scared.
Lord Cheeto, help us.
Haiku #61536, by Cowering Minions of Lord Cheeto of Orange
January 6, 2019 3:34 pm ET

Home Economics
Haiku #61535, by Sofa King (Handsome) of Living Room
January 6, 2019 3:12 pm ET

Bright lights of spring:
nothing to do. But darn, dad
deep throat your OWN socks...
Haiku #61534, by Foot Fetish of Librarians
January 6, 2019 12:59 pm ET

Dark nights of winter
Nothing to do but darn socks
And deep throat your Dad
Haiku #61533, by Longing for Spring
January 6, 2019 2:30 am ET

Is Starkitten real?
A librarian? Really?
I never knew that
Haiku #61532, by Tweety
January 5, 2019 10:21 pm ET

Greasy big old balls
No, I don't want to touch them
They really stink bad
Haiku #61531, by Anonymous Poet
January 5, 2019 8:17 pm ET

I'm a fig picker
Got sticky brown fingernails
I pick the best figs
Haiku #61530, by Figpicker
January 5, 2019 11:40 am ET

Sitting on the toilet:2
Edge of the bed:69
Haiku #61529, by Human Calculator
January 5, 2019 11:32 am ET

I'll never win it
The Clean Fingernails Award
I pick my asshole
Haiku #61528, by Fudgy
January 5, 2019 11:19 am ET

Syllable Sybil
All my personalities
Damn, they're all poets
Haiku #61527, by Cephalapoet
January 5, 2019 11:17 am ET

Honshu Librarian
Please don't shush me this morning
Bad sushi farts today
Haiku #61526, by Patron of Methane to my madness
January 5, 2019 11:11 am ET

Compulsive this is.
Type and type and type and type.
say hi to Yoda
Haiku #61525, by Death to Haiku
January 5, 2019 9:58 am ET

Back to Genesis
(as in P-orridge). That thing
is so pathetic.
Haiku #61524, by Genderless Pronouns of Genesis Psychic TV
January 5, 2019 9:56 am ET

What the hell became
of that crazed librarian
name of StarKitten?
Haiku #61523, by Multiple Personalities of Darth
January 5, 2019 9:12 am ET

REACT you bitches.
Type something NOW. Get moving,
Haiku #61522, by Ephemeral Loveliness of Haiku
January 5, 2019 9:08 am ET

Seriously what
is wrong with the Japanese?
They need Jesus Christ !
Haiku #61521, by Jesus of Nazareth TRUMP 20/20 Vision
January 5, 2019 8:58 am ET

They did deserve it.
Both Fat Man and Little boy.
I'm part Jap. Eat me.
Haiku #61520, by Glorious Burst of One Thousand Eastern Suns
January 5, 2019 8:56 am ET

Kamikaze beer
wriggling tentacle skewered
Hell: Japanese bar
Haiku #61519, by Kirin Asahi of Sapporo Extra DRY
January 5, 2019 8:51 am ET

Aisu-krimu sandu-witch
Robotic Gul-friend
Haiku #61518, by Jap App for Android
January 5, 2019 8:49 am ET

Haiku lifts our souls
to views beyond the village:
distant Fuji. (FART)
Haiku #61517, by Some dumbass Jap wearing a unicorn costume made of pink polyester waving a little flag around on YouTube
January 5, 2019 8:45 am ET

Oh, for poetry
that sings of skidmarks and farts
Write on, Figpucker
Haiku #61516, by Darth F's haiku intervention squad of Freudian Regression
January 5, 2019 8:41 am ET

What not to wear, dude
Loose wrinkled beige kimono
Kimono? I'm nude!
Haiku #61515, by Laughs are Free
January 5, 2019 5:59 am ET

Kangaroo dung pile
Oddly enough, dung has pouch
Containing more dung
Haiku #61514, by God is Awesome
January 5, 2019 1:45 am ET

Frozen beard bristles
Oceanic Explosion
Arctic Iceberg Wank
Haiku #61513, by Chewbacca of Greasy
January 5, 2019 1:32 am ET

Smelly deep knee bends
Consult your physician first
Low tide aerobics
Haiku #61512, by Doc of the Bay of Wasting time
January 5, 2019 1:28 am ET

The old lady smell
Just like a slap in the face
At the fish market
Haiku #61511, by Fishmonger of Trouser Trout
January 5, 2019 1:24 am ET

Washcloth on a stick
Reach around to scour my ass
My thoughts turn to you
Haiku #61510, by Picture That
January 5, 2019 1:08 am ET

Salty human flesh
Stringy and mostly tasteless
Roll you in Panko

Look for the wet spot
But it
Haiku #61509, by Foodie
January 5, 2019 1:05 am ET

Food was delivered
Foot Longpig Sandwiches
Ate UberEats guy
Haiku #61508, by Crunchy penis
January 5, 2019 1:02 am ET

What if I told you
The secret to poetry
Lies in your own farts
Haiku #61507, by Poet of Head in (fart) clouds
January 4, 2019 9:21 pm ET

So your dick
Haiku #61506, by Anonymous Poet
January 4, 2019 9:11 pm ET

Haiku #61505, by Poopstain of On the run(s)
January 4, 2019 9:02 pm ET

When the cops show up
Let out a big fart and run
Leave them in your dust
Haiku #61504, by Poopstain Bolt of On the run(s)
January 4, 2019 8:45 pm ET

You just missed it, bud
Rank post holidays fart fest
A nose full of news
Haiku #61503, by Ima Fullogas of Creaky Porch
January 4, 2019 8:43 pm ET

Yeah, we
Haiku #61502, by Entrepreneur Furrburger Queef of Business Luncheon
January 4, 2019 8:40 pm ET

Starting a business
Similar to Amazon
But only sell farts
Haiku #61501, by Butt of Smelly Fartville
January 4, 2019 8:38 pm ET

So don
Haiku #61500, by Jerk
January 4, 2019 5:28 pm ET

I didn
Haiku #61499, by Let the poets speak
January 4, 2019 4:21 pm ET

Farts for currency
Who wants to be millionaires?
I didn
Haiku #61498, by Poopstain of In your pants
January 4, 2019 4:21 pm ET

Bankers will get theirs
when Lucifer gets his ass
handed to him (Hell).
Haiku #61497, by Prince Alexandre Louis Philippe Marie Berthier of the House of Rothschild
January 4, 2019 3:17 pm ET

He's the town pervert
But they pronounce it Pre Vert
I just call him Dad
Haiku #61496, by Mr. Fritzl's daughter of Not in basement
January 4, 2019 5:53 am ET

Poconos Humpfest
Beautiful Mt. Airy Lodge
Mount a lot of things
Haiku #61495, by Jingle singer of Heart shaped Bathtub
January 4, 2019 5:39 am ET

Barstool of New Year
Occupation: Town Drunkard
Seeing double now
Haiku #61494, by Town Drunkard of Barstool
January 4, 2019 4:32 am ET

Cigarette Machine
Cough up the booty, robot!
Way back in the day
Haiku #61493, by Automated of Machine
January 4, 2019 4:21 am ET

Wonka wonka woo
Now thrusting dance on table
Crashing to the floor
Haiku #61492, by Eddie's mom of Dive Bar
January 4, 2019 4:19 am ET

Relax. Visualize.
Captain and Tenille screwing
Muskrat in rear end
Haiku #61491, by Guided Relaxation of Floor
January 4, 2019 4:18 am ET

Cancan dancers kick
Who opened the tuna fish?
From row seats fishy
Haiku #61490, by Audience of Front Row
January 4, 2019 4:15 am ET

Gates of Good Fortune
Wide open like your sister
Without the fish smell
Haiku #61489, by Tally Whacker of Corner of Cockles and Mussels
January 4, 2019 2:17 am ET

Camel had a toe
Hot sand. Million miles to go
Dry hump Dry hump hump
Haiku #61488, by Dry Hump of Hump
January 4, 2019 2:14 am ET

Word in name congealed
Left a bad taste in your mouth
Find nearest spittoon
Haiku #61487, by Sal Iva
January 4, 2019 12:13 am ET