Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 135 Days and 76969 Haiku later...

Frozen beard bristles
Oceanic Explosion
Arctic Iceberg Wank
Haiku # 61513, January 5, 2019 1:32 am ET
by Chewbacca of Greasy
Smelly deep knee bends
Consult your physician first
Low tide aerobics
Haiku # 61512, January 5, 2019 1:28 am ET
by Doc of the Bay of Wasting time
The old lady smell
Just like a slap in the face
At the fish market
Haiku # 61511, January 5, 2019 1:24 am ET
by Fishmonger of Trouser Trout
Washcloth on a stick
Reach around to scour my ass
My thoughts turn to you
Haiku # 61510, January 5, 2019 1:08 am ET
by Picture That
Salty human flesh
Stringy and mostly tasteless
Roll you in Panko

Look for the wet spot
But it
Haiku # 61509, January 5, 2019 1:05 am ET
by Foodie
Food was delivered
Foot Longpig Sandwiches
Ate UberEats guy
Haiku # 61508, January 5, 2019 1:02 am ET
by Crunchy penis
What if I told you
The secret to poetry
Lies in your own farts
Haiku # 61507, January 4, 2019 9:21 pm ET
by Poet of Head in (fart) clouds
So your dick
Haiku # 61506, January 4, 2019 9:11 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
They
Haiku # 61505, January 4, 2019 9:02 pm ET
by Poopstain of On the run(s)
When the cops show up
Let out a big fart and run
Leave them in your dust
Haiku # 61504, January 4, 2019 8:45 pm ET
by Poopstain Bolt of On the run(s)
You just missed it, bud
Rank post holidays fart fest
A nose full of news
Haiku # 61503, January 4, 2019 8:43 pm ET
by Ima Fullogas of Creaky Porch
Yeah, we
Haiku # 61502, January 4, 2019 8:40 pm ET
by Entrepreneur Furrburger Queef of Business Luncheon
Starting a business
Similar to Amazon
But only sell farts
Haiku # 61501, January 4, 2019 8:38 pm ET
by Butt of Smelly Fartville
Temporarily
So don
Haiku # 61500, January 4, 2019 5:28 pm ET
by Jerk
I didn
Haiku # 61499, January 4, 2019 4:21 pm ET
by Let the poets speak
Farts for currency
Who wants to be millionaires?
I didn
Haiku # 61498, January 4, 2019 4:21 pm ET
by Poopstain of In your pants
Bankers will get theirs
when Lucifer gets his ass
handed to him (Hell).
Haiku # 61497, January 4, 2019 3:17 pm ET
by Prince Alexandre Louis Philippe Marie Berthier of the House of Rothschild
He's the town pervert
But they pronounce it Pre Vert
I just call him Dad
Haiku # 61496, January 4, 2019 5:53 am ET
by Mr. Fritzl's daughter of Not in basement
Poconos Humpfest
Beautiful Mt. Airy Lodge
Mount a lot of things
Haiku # 61495, January 4, 2019 5:39 am ET
by Jingle singer of Heart shaped Bathtub
Barstool of New Year
Occupation: Town Drunkard
Seeing double now
Haiku # 61494, January 4, 2019 4:32 am ET
by Town Drunkard of Barstool
Cigarette Machine
Cough up the booty, robot!
Way back in the day
Haiku # 61493, January 4, 2019 4:21 am ET
by Automated of Machine
Wonka wonka woo
Now thrusting dance on table
Crashing to the floor
Haiku # 61492, January 4, 2019 4:19 am ET
by Eddie's mom of Dive Bar
Relax. Visualize.
Captain and Tenille screwing
Muskrat in rear end
Haiku # 61491, January 4, 2019 4:18 am ET
by Guided Relaxation of Floor
Cancan dancers kick
Who opened the tuna fish?
From row seats fishy
Haiku # 61490, January 4, 2019 4:15 am ET
by Audience of Front Row
Gates of Good Fortune
Wide open like your sister
Without the fish smell
Haiku # 61489, January 4, 2019 2:17 am ET
by Tally Whacker of Corner of Cockles and Mussels
Camel had a toe
Hot sand. Million miles to go
Dry hump Dry hump hump
Haiku # 61488, January 4, 2019 2:14 am ET
by Dry Hump of Hump
Word in name congealed
Left a bad taste in your mouth
Find nearest spittoon
Haiku # 61487, January 4, 2019 12:13 am ET
by Sal Iva
Dickens cider
Haiku # 61486, January 3, 2019 9:08 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Trying to get some
Dickens
Haiku # 61485, January 3, 2019 9:07 pm ET
by Surf, Turf, and Afterbirth of Produce
Great Expectations
Dissolved by reality
VeneREAL LIFE
Haiku # 61484, January 3, 2019 9:04 pm ET
by Pip trying to get Dickens of Some dusty pub
Dickensian twins . . .
their names: Ignorance and Want.
Did you mean those two?
Haiku # 61483, January 3, 2019 7:56 pm ET
by Sale of Two Titties
Abuse and Neglect
Expecting twins? Perfect names.
Congratulations!
Haiku # 61482, January 3, 2019 6:26 pm ET
by Living Abortion
Come see my belle chose
Give the lotion. Give the hose.
C'est la vie en rose
Haiku # 61481, January 3, 2019 5:28 pm ET
by Frenchy of Oooooo la la
A fragrant French whore
beckons me to approach
and empty my balls
Haiku # 61480, January 3, 2019 4:47 pm ET
by Packing Master of NYC
I ain't no sex doll
I'm the Michelin Tire Man
Got rubbers covered
Haiku # 61479, January 3, 2019 4:42 pm ET
by Complimentary Lube of Busy Corner
That sex-joke punchline:
Those two inflatable dolls
Wait. Let me think first
Haiku # 61478, January 3, 2019 3:32 pm ET
by Her breath inside of me
It's necessary.
Submit to my bad haiku.
Submit to Islam.
Haiku # 61477, January 3, 2019 3:30 pm ET
by Taqiyya of Submission
Yo it aint like dat . . .
aint like dat at ALL, gnome sain?
People be like: damn.
Haiku # 61476, January 3, 2019 3:27 pm ET
by Guy about to shoot you because you got the WalMart parking space and he kind of violent
Oh bright liquid fire
Temple elixir of bliss . . .
what was I saying ?
Haiku # 61475, January 3, 2019 3:23 pm ET
by Loku Wi-Fi of Pseudo-oriental Splendors
Oh haiku maidens
Oh ye nine mini-muses
Draw near and inspire
Haiku # 61474, January 3, 2019 3:20 pm ET
by Asahi EXTRA-DRY of Sapporo 生 発泡酒 More Please
Hey all you damn kids
Get the hell out of my yard.
This is MY haiku
Haiku # 61473, January 3, 2019 3:14 pm ET
by Foul-tempered old coot shuffling around his filthy kitchen trying to find his hearing aid

Word in Name concealed.
Let her slip or got her peeled:
Hannah Banana !
Haiku # 61472, January 3, 2019 3:10 pm ET
by El Platano of Guineo Tropical
Poetry Robot
Annual lubrication
Non-friction section
Haiku # 61471, January 3, 2019 3:56 am ET
by Poetry Robot of Ork
Been laid up with piles
Couldn
Haiku # 61470, January 3, 2019 2:09 am ET
by Mack of Rig
Name in word revealed
Reeled in an eel. Electric.
Oh that was so real
Haiku # 61469, January 2, 2019 8:57 pm ET
by Bicycle Thieves of Outside restaurant
Name in word revealed:
re-revealed in veal cutlet
vegan veggie veal
Haiku # 61468, January 2, 2019 7:38 pm ET
by Milk-Fed Vegetables of Lyrical Transcendence
Too late just caint stop
haiku-itis got my soul
OH LORDY! Help me
Haiku # 61467, January 2, 2019 7:36 pm ET
by Mammy Haiku of Chitlin Circuit with a cloth on her head
Asinine Donkey !
Lick my assurance of fame.
Bear my burden, beast.
Haiku # 61466, January 2, 2019 7:32 pm ET
by Braying Quadruped of Who You Are
Ma haiku homies
I'm a send them roun u place
bust u fukin haid
Haiku # 61465, January 2, 2019 7:27 pm ET
by Thaddeus Snodgrass of a Golden Cup of Claret and Thou
just type and type and
type and type and type and type,
then count syllables
Haiku # 61464, January 2, 2019 7:24 pm ET
by Polysyllabic Quintessentiality of the Pseudo-epigraphically Explicit
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