BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
22 Years
248 Days
and
65352 Haikus
later...
Salty human flesh
Stringy and mostly tasteless
Roll you in Panko

Look for the wet spot
But it
Haiku #61509, by Foodie
January 5, 2019 1:05 am ET

Food was delivered
Foot Longpig Sandwiches
Ate UberEats guy
Haiku #61508, by Crunchy penis
January 5, 2019 1:02 am ET

What if I told you
The secret to poetry
Lies in your own farts
Haiku #61507, by Poet of Head in (fart) clouds
January 4, 2019 9:21 pm ET

So your dick
Haiku #61506, by Anonymous Poet
January 4, 2019 9:11 pm ET

They
Haiku #61505, by Poopstain of On the run(s)
January 4, 2019 9:02 pm ET

When the cops show up
Let out a big fart and run
Leave them in your dust
Haiku #61504, by Poopstain Bolt of On the run(s)
January 4, 2019 8:45 pm ET

You just missed it, bud
Rank post holidays fart fest
A nose full of news
Haiku #61503, by Ima Fullogas of Creaky Porch
January 4, 2019 8:43 pm ET

Yeah, we
Haiku #61502, by Entrepreneur Furrburger Queef of Business Luncheon
January 4, 2019 8:40 pm ET

Starting a business
Similar to Amazon
But only sell farts
Haiku #61501, by Butt of Smelly Fartville
January 4, 2019 8:38 pm ET

Temporarily
So don
Haiku #61500, by Jerk
January 4, 2019 5:28 pm ET

I didn
Haiku #61499, by Let the poets speak
January 4, 2019 4:21 pm ET

Farts for currency
Who wants to be millionaires?
I didn
Haiku #61498, by Poopstain of In your pants
January 4, 2019 4:21 pm ET

Bankers will get theirs
when Lucifer gets his ass
handed to him (Hell).
Haiku #61497, by Prince Alexandre Louis Philippe Marie Berthier of the House of Rothschild
January 4, 2019 3:17 pm ET

He's the town pervert
But they pronounce it Pre Vert
I just call him Dad
Haiku #61496, by Mr. Fritzl's daughter of Not in basement
January 4, 2019 5:53 am ET

Poconos Humpfest
Beautiful Mt. Airy Lodge
Mount a lot of things
Haiku #61495, by Jingle singer of Heart shaped Bathtub
January 4, 2019 5:39 am ET

Barstool of New Year
Occupation: Town Drunkard
Seeing double now
Haiku #61494, by Town Drunkard of Barstool
January 4, 2019 4:32 am ET

Cigarette Machine
Cough up the booty, robot!
Way back in the day
Haiku #61493, by Automated of Machine
January 4, 2019 4:21 am ET

Wonka wonka woo
Now thrusting dance on table
Crashing to the floor
Haiku #61492, by Eddie's mom of Dive Bar
January 4, 2019 4:19 am ET

Relax. Visualize.
Captain and Tenille screwing
Muskrat in rear end
Haiku #61491, by Guided Relaxation of Floor
January 4, 2019 4:18 am ET

Cancan dancers kick
Who opened the tuna fish?
From row seats fishy
Haiku #61490, by Audience of Front Row
January 4, 2019 4:15 am ET

Gates of Good Fortune
Wide open like your sister
Without the fish smell
Haiku #61489, by Tally Whacker of Corner of Cockles and Mussels
January 4, 2019 2:17 am ET

Camel had a toe
Hot sand. Million miles to go
Dry hump Dry hump hump
Haiku #61488, by Dry Hump of Hump
January 4, 2019 2:14 am ET

Word in name congealed
Left a bad taste in your mouth
Find nearest spittoon
Haiku #61487, by Sal Iva
January 4, 2019 12:13 am ET

Dickens cider
Haiku #61486, by Anonymous Poet
January 3, 2019 9:08 pm ET

Trying to get some
Dickens
Haiku #61485, by Surf, Turf, and Afterbirth of Produce
January 3, 2019 9:07 pm ET

Great Expectations
Dissolved by reality
VeneREAL LIFE
Haiku #61484, by Pip trying to get Dickens of Some dusty pub
January 3, 2019 9:04 pm ET

Dickensian twins . . .
their names: Ignorance and Want.
Did you mean those two?
Haiku #61483, by Sale of Two Titties
January 3, 2019 7:56 pm ET

Abuse and Neglect
Expecting twins? Perfect names.
Congratulations!
Haiku #61482, by Living Abortion
January 3, 2019 6:26 pm ET

Come see my belle chose
Give the lotion. Give the hose.
C'est la vie en rose
Haiku #61481, by Frenchy of Oooooo la la
January 3, 2019 5:28 pm ET

A fragrant French whore
beckons me to approach
and empty my balls
Haiku #61480, by Packing Master of NYC
January 3, 2019 4:47 pm ET

I ain't no sex doll
I'm the Michelin Tire Man
Got rubbers covered
Haiku #61479, by Complimentary Lube of Busy Corner
January 3, 2019 4:42 pm ET

That sex-joke punchline:
Those two inflatable dolls
Wait. Let me think first
Haiku #61478, by Her breath inside of me
January 3, 2019 3:32 pm ET

It's necessary.
Submit to my bad haiku.
Submit to Islam.
Haiku #61477, by Taqiyya of Submission
January 3, 2019 3:30 pm ET

Yo it aint like dat . . .
aint like dat at ALL, gnome sain?
People be like: damn.
Haiku #61476, by Guy about to shoot you because you got the WalMart parking space and he kind of violent
January 3, 2019 3:27 pm ET

Oh bright liquid fire
Temple elixir of bliss . . .
what was I saying ?
Haiku #61475, by Loku Wi-Fi of Pseudo-oriental Splendors
January 3, 2019 3:23 pm ET

Oh haiku maidens
Oh ye nine mini-muses
Draw near and inspire
Haiku #61474, by Asahi EXTRA-DRY of Sapporo 生 発泡酒 More Please
January 3, 2019 3:20 pm ET

Hey all you damn kids
Get the hell out of my yard.
This is MY haiku
Haiku #61473, by Foul-tempered old coot shuffling around his filthy kitchen trying to find his hearing aid
January 3, 2019 3:14 pm ET


Word in Name concealed.
Let her slip or got her peeled:
Hannah Banana !
Haiku #61472, by El Platano of Guineo Tropical
January 3, 2019 3:10 pm ET

Poetry Robot
Annual lubrication
Non-friction section
Haiku #61471, by Poetry Robot of Ork
January 3, 2019 3:56 am ET

Been laid up with piles
Couldn
Haiku #61470, by Mack of Rig
January 3, 2019 2:09 am ET

Name in word revealed
Reeled in an eel. Electric.
Oh that was so real
Haiku #61469, by Bicycle Thieves of Outside restaurant
January 2, 2019 8:57 pm ET

Name in word revealed:
re-revealed in veal cutlet
vegan veggie veal
Haiku #61468, by Milk-Fed Vegetables of Lyrical Transcendence
January 2, 2019 7:38 pm ET

Too late just caint stop
haiku-itis got my soul
OH LORDY! Help me
Haiku #61467, by Mammy Haiku of Chitlin Circuit with a cloth on her head
January 2, 2019 7:36 pm ET

Asinine Donkey !
Lick my assurance of fame.
Bear my burden, beast.
Haiku #61466, by Braying Quadruped of Who You Are
January 2, 2019 7:32 pm ET

Ma haiku homies
I'm a send them roun u place
bust u fukin haid
Haiku #61465, by Thaddeus Snodgrass of a Golden Cup of Claret and Thou
January 2, 2019 7:27 pm ET

just type and type and
type and type and type and type,
then count syllables
Haiku #61464, by Polysyllabic Quintessentiality of the Pseudo-epigraphically Explicit
January 2, 2019 7:24 pm ET

The new year arrives
filled with harmonious joy:
Thunderous dark fart
Haiku #61463, by Name: of Location: Preview
January 2, 2019 7:20 pm ET

Orifice of doom
Filthy oracular hole:
your poetic mouth
Haiku #61462, by Name of Location
January 2, 2019 7:16 pm ET

Oh poets! New wine
New snowstorms of crystal verse . . .
New disposable
Haiku #61461, by Please consider purchase of Fuxiang gentlemens wristwatch factory
January 2, 2019 7:15 pm ET

Gary Busey fart
It's been known to clear a room
Guacamole Time
Haiku #61460, by Jennifer Garner of Hollywood, CA
January 2, 2019 6:48 pm ET