BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
23 Years
23 Days
and
66519 Haikus
later...
What if I told you
The secret to poetry
Lies in your own farts
Haiku #61507, by Poet of Head in (fart) clouds
January 4, 2019 9:21 pm ET

So your dick
Haiku #61506, by Anonymous Poet
January 4, 2019 9:11 pm ET

They
Haiku #61505, by Poopstain of On the run(s)
January 4, 2019 9:02 pm ET

When the cops show up
Let out a big fart and run
Leave them in your dust
Haiku #61504, by Poopstain Bolt of On the run(s)
January 4, 2019 8:45 pm ET

You just missed it, bud
Rank post holidays fart fest
A nose full of news
Haiku #61503, by Ima Fullogas of Creaky Porch
January 4, 2019 8:43 pm ET

Yeah, we
Haiku #61502, by Entrepreneur Furrburger Queef of Business Luncheon
January 4, 2019 8:40 pm ET

Starting a business
Similar to Amazon
But only sell farts
Haiku #61501, by Butt of Smelly Fartville
January 4, 2019 8:38 pm ET

Temporarily
So don
Haiku #61500, by Jerk
January 4, 2019 5:28 pm ET

I didn
Haiku #61499, by Let the poets speak
January 4, 2019 4:21 pm ET

Farts for currency
Who wants to be millionaires?
I didn
Haiku #61498, by Poopstain of In your pants
January 4, 2019 4:21 pm ET

Bankers will get theirs
when Lucifer gets his ass
handed to him (Hell).
Haiku #61497, by Prince Alexandre Louis Philippe Marie Berthier of the House of Rothschild
January 4, 2019 3:17 pm ET

He's the town pervert
But they pronounce it Pre Vert
I just call him Dad
Haiku #61496, by Mr. Fritzl's daughter of Not in basement
January 4, 2019 5:53 am ET

Poconos Humpfest
Beautiful Mt. Airy Lodge
Mount a lot of things
Haiku #61495, by Jingle singer of Heart shaped Bathtub
January 4, 2019 5:39 am ET

Barstool of New Year
Occupation: Town Drunkard
Seeing double now
Haiku #61494, by Town Drunkard of Barstool
January 4, 2019 4:32 am ET

Cigarette Machine
Cough up the booty, robot!
Way back in the day
Haiku #61493, by Automated of Machine
January 4, 2019 4:21 am ET

Wonka wonka woo
Now thrusting dance on table
Crashing to the floor
Haiku #61492, by Eddie's mom of Dive Bar
January 4, 2019 4:19 am ET

Relax. Visualize.
Captain and Tenille screwing
Muskrat in rear end
Haiku #61491, by Guided Relaxation of Floor
January 4, 2019 4:18 am ET

Cancan dancers kick
Who opened the tuna fish?
From row seats fishy
Haiku #61490, by Audience of Front Row
January 4, 2019 4:15 am ET

Gates of Good Fortune
Wide open like your sister
Without the fish smell
Haiku #61489, by Tally Whacker of Corner of Cockles and Mussels
January 4, 2019 2:17 am ET

Camel had a toe
Hot sand. Million miles to go
Dry hump Dry hump hump
Haiku #61488, by Dry Hump of Hump
January 4, 2019 2:14 am ET

Word in name congealed
Left a bad taste in your mouth
Find nearest spittoon
Haiku #61487, by Sal Iva
January 4, 2019 12:13 am ET

Dickens cider
Haiku #61486, by Anonymous Poet
January 3, 2019 9:08 pm ET

Trying to get some
Dickens
Haiku #61485, by Surf, Turf, and Afterbirth of Produce
January 3, 2019 9:07 pm ET

Great Expectations
Dissolved by reality
VeneREAL LIFE
Haiku #61484, by Pip trying to get Dickens of Some dusty pub
January 3, 2019 9:04 pm ET

Dickensian twins . . .
their names: Ignorance and Want.
Did you mean those two?
Haiku #61483, by Sale of Two Titties
January 3, 2019 7:56 pm ET

Abuse and Neglect
Expecting twins? Perfect names.
Congratulations!
Haiku #61482, by Living Abortion
January 3, 2019 6:26 pm ET

Come see my belle chose
Give the lotion. Give the hose.
C'est la vie en rose
Haiku #61481, by Frenchy of Oooooo la la
January 3, 2019 5:28 pm ET

A fragrant French whore
beckons me to approach
and empty my balls
Haiku #61480, by Packing Master of NYC
January 3, 2019 4:47 pm ET

I ain't no sex doll
I'm the Michelin Tire Man
Got rubbers covered
Haiku #61479, by Complimentary Lube of Busy Corner
January 3, 2019 4:42 pm ET

That sex-joke punchline:
Those two inflatable dolls
Wait. Let me think first
Haiku #61478, by Her breath inside of me
January 3, 2019 3:32 pm ET

It's necessary.
Submit to my bad haiku.
Submit to Islam.
Haiku #61477, by Taqiyya of Submission
January 3, 2019 3:30 pm ET

Yo it aint like dat . . .
aint like dat at ALL, gnome sain?
People be like: damn.
Haiku #61476, by Guy about to shoot you because you got the WalMart parking space and he kind of violent
January 3, 2019 3:27 pm ET

Oh bright liquid fire
Temple elixir of bliss . . .
what was I saying ?
Haiku #61475, by Loku Wi-Fi of Pseudo-oriental Splendors
January 3, 2019 3:23 pm ET

Oh haiku maidens
Oh ye nine mini-muses
Draw near and inspire
Haiku #61474, by Asahi EXTRA-DRY of Sapporo 生 発泡酒 More Please
January 3, 2019 3:20 pm ET

Hey all you damn kids
Get the hell out of my yard.
This is MY haiku
Haiku #61473, by Foul-tempered old coot shuffling around his filthy kitchen trying to find his hearing aid
January 3, 2019 3:14 pm ET


Word in Name concealed.
Let her slip or got her peeled:
Hannah Banana !
Haiku #61472, by El Platano of Guineo Tropical
January 3, 2019 3:10 pm ET

Poetry Robot
Annual lubrication
Non-friction section
Haiku #61471, by Poetry Robot of Ork
January 3, 2019 3:56 am ET

Been laid up with piles
Couldn
Haiku #61470, by Mack of Rig
January 3, 2019 2:09 am ET

Name in word revealed
Reeled in an eel. Electric.
Oh that was so real
Haiku #61469, by Bicycle Thieves of Outside restaurant
January 2, 2019 8:57 pm ET

Name in word revealed:
re-revealed in veal cutlet
vegan veggie veal
Haiku #61468, by Milk-Fed Vegetables of Lyrical Transcendence
January 2, 2019 7:38 pm ET

Too late just caint stop
haiku-itis got my soul
OH LORDY! Help me
Haiku #61467, by Mammy Haiku of Chitlin Circuit with a cloth on her head
January 2, 2019 7:36 pm ET

Asinine Donkey !
Lick my assurance of fame.
Bear my burden, beast.
Haiku #61466, by Braying Quadruped of Who You Are
January 2, 2019 7:32 pm ET

Ma haiku homies
I'm a send them roun u place
bust u fukin haid
Haiku #61465, by Thaddeus Snodgrass of a Golden Cup of Claret and Thou
January 2, 2019 7:27 pm ET

just type and type and
type and type and type and type,
then count syllables
Haiku #61464, by Polysyllabic Quintessentiality of the Pseudo-epigraphically Explicit
January 2, 2019 7:24 pm ET

The new year arrives
filled with harmonious joy:
Thunderous dark fart
Haiku #61463, by Name: of Location: Preview
January 2, 2019 7:20 pm ET

Orifice of doom
Filthy oracular hole:
your poetic mouth
Haiku #61462, by Name of Location
January 2, 2019 7:16 pm ET

Oh poets! New wine
New snowstorms of crystal verse . . .
New disposable
Haiku #61461, by Please consider purchase of Fuxiang gentlemens wristwatch factory
January 2, 2019 7:15 pm ET

Gary Busey fart
It's been known to clear a room
Guacamole Time
Haiku #61460, by Jennifer Garner of Hollywood, CA
January 2, 2019 6:48 pm ET

Stay Tuned. coming Soon.
Chinese year of the long pig
Might as well bend over
Haiku #61459, by Nostradongus of Predictable location
January 2, 2019 3:51 pm ET

Hail twenty-nineteen;
a new year to get buried
in Figpucker's waste.
Haiku #61458, by Anonymous Poet
January 2, 2019 12:40 pm ET