Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 136 Days and 76969 Haiku later...

Have poets always
been so confrontational?
Like fools to their king.

Asking for a friend
questioning an enema.
Fleet bisacodyl.

So it all comes out,
as the proctologists say,
in the bitter end.

"Looks like he's had his
grande latte enema."
A great movie quote.
Haiku # 61159, November 30, 2018 11:07 am ET
by df
You say "shit no wit"
as if that is a bad thing.
Someone shat you out.

Shitting is hard work.
Be respectful to your mom.
She loves you, I'm sure.

She could have flushed you.
But she kept and nurtured you.
Like U2's Bono.

So I shit haiku.
Hey, I'm not shooting up schools.
Be thankful, wee turd.
Haiku # 61158, November 30, 2018 9:07 am ET
by Mr. Hankey, Circle of Poo
Push suck push suck push
Push suck push Glunk flush glug swirl
Unclogged your terlit
Haiku # 61157, November 30, 2018 6:10 am ET
by Darth's plumber of Darthville
Darth school of Haiku:
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, no wit.
Just shit upon shit.
Haiku # 61156, November 30, 2018 3:04 am ET
by Sensei Figpucker
Spa time with my boo
Stinking up the joint right now
Gonna get trespassed
Haiku # 61155, November 30, 2018 1:45 am ET
by Smelly
A beautiful mind
And he
Haiku # 61154, November 29, 2018 7:53 pm ET
by Now, what of Mensa Think Tank
Haiku proportion:
Penis poems to "others"
is one over pi.

Theoretically.
The proof is hard to work out.
But you know it's true.

Tune in next week, kids.
I'll derive God's phone number.
He doesn't like text.
Haiku # 61153, November 29, 2018 5:28 pm ET
by df
Sloppy cursive job
Illegible bachelor
Penis fountain pen
Haiku # 61152, November 29, 2018 1:05 pm ET
by Invisible ink of Dink
Take zinc for your dink.
I think. In pill form or drink.
Live life on the brink.
Haiku # 61151, November 29, 2018 11:25 am ET
by df
Cuntabulated.
For those busy prostitutes.
Vaginal spread sheets.
Haiku # 61150, November 29, 2018 11:22 am ET
by df
Zink
Haiku # 61149, November 29, 2018 11:04 am ET
by Stink
Think pink mink dink stink?
Pink dink slink. Pink stink dink. think.
Slink mink. Stink mink fink
Haiku # 61148, November 29, 2018 11:03 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Think pink dink stink sink.
Slink mink fink rink brink ink wink.
Sync drink kink link blink.
Haiku # 61147, November 29, 2018 10:19 am ET
by
This life will kill us
It seems like a waste of time
But just wait it out
Haiku # 61146, November 29, 2018 5:00 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
you just laugh at me
When I show you my small dink
And then we both cry
Haiku # 61145, November 29, 2018 4:41 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
extra small penis
Trying not to get noticed
jerkin the gherkins
Haiku # 61144, November 29, 2018 4:37 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
https://www.artsy.net/article/artsy-editorial-ancient-greek-sculptures-small-penises
Haiku # 61143, November 29, 2018 4:08 am ET
by df
Statue of David
Ever notice his small dink?
X husband was his twin
Haiku # 61142, November 29, 2018 2:39 am ET
by I'd rather not say of Around
without the cuss words,
or mention of genitals,
it's not a poem.
Haiku # 61141, November 29, 2018 12:09 am ET
by true art needs genitals
That was kinda fun
Really decent poetry
You can write one too

Please submit poems
One poem a day, at least
Recite them out loud
Kuntfart Kuntfart Kunt!!
Haiku # 61140, November 28, 2018 9:39 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Please read my poem
I worked on it all day long
Get it just right, man

Didn't use cuss words
Or mention genitalia
Needs an extra line
G Rated Poem
Haiku # 61139, November 28, 2018 8:16 pm ET
by Pig Dong
Zip zip zip zip zip
Zip zip zip zip zip zip zip
Dink caught in fly
Haiku # 61138, November 28, 2018 4:52 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Rock rock rock crack smush
Rock smush rock smush rock smush smush
Sticky werthers gramps?
Haiku # 61137, November 28, 2018 4:50 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Jehova's Witness
Keeps them away from your door
Protection Program
Haiku # 61136, November 28, 2018 3:21 pm ET
by Just ask
Your smile..like the sun
Cheerful, long yellow teeth
I think I'm in love
Haiku # 61135, November 28, 2018 3:18 pm ET
by Smitten
Soggy manure life
Like a rainy day all day
If the rain wuz poop
Haiku # 61134, November 28, 2018 3:16 pm ET
by Bucket Filler
Have no ha'penny?
Then let's just skin you alive
Oh, and God bless you.
Haiku # 61133, November 28, 2018 3:13 pm ET
by Church goer
your smile send shock waves
that i forget i have lungs
and my legs have knees
Haiku # 61132, November 28, 2018 3:10 pm ET
by vince
The children are taught to sing "Merry Christmas" with their hands held out begging for money and it never changes until they die.
Haiku # 61131, November 28, 2018 2:17 pm ET
by
"When I grow up I
want to be a sacrifice
to volcano gods."
Haiku # 61130, November 28, 2018 2:15 pm ET
by
You might not like filth.
That's where life begins and ends.
Don't blame me, blame God.

Every fart, turd,
and bodily excretion
is a prayer of thanks.
Haiku # 61129, November 28, 2018 2:11 pm ET
by df
Can you reduce it,
Every last lyric impulse,
To sex filth vomit?
Haiku # 61128, November 28, 2018 1:21 pm ET
by buried deep in the figpuckers hog farm
I aim to not aim.
It's wise to stand far from me
at the urinal.
Haiku # 61127, November 28, 2018 5:43 am ET
by df
With six extra cocks
his junk looked like a bag pipe.
Big hit at gay bars.
Haiku # 61126, November 28, 2018 5:40 am ET
by MgGregor's Gene Splicing, Inc. of Lock Ness
The missing bagpipes
Last spotted in Edinburgh
Look under his kilt
Haiku # 61125, November 27, 2018 9:47 pm ET
by Spotted Dick of Bettergetthatlookedat
I aim to confuse
What is my chosen weapon? My shitty haikus
Haiku # 61124, November 27, 2018 9:26 pm ET
by William Mcgonagall of Edinburgh
I would like a Hell.
Torture for all of my sins.
And then I could sleep.

It would be peaceful.
As long as my wife's not there.
It will be okay.
Haiku # 61123, November 27, 2018 9:09 pm ET
by df
Well, you could have flushed
That's not very neighbourly
Ain't a art museum
Haiku # 61122, November 27, 2018 8:02 pm ET
by Hick
bad haiku check-in:
farts, shit-stains, and suchlike filth
time to leave again
Haiku # 61121, November 27, 2018 7:14 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I have a question
Um, do farts have syllables
Can u fart haiku?

Can u cut the cheese?
Lay a coil or drop a stew?
Make smelly haiku?
Haiku # 61120, November 27, 2018 5:57 pm ET
by Smelly Poet
Important Message
Near Far wherever you Are
My fart must go on
Haiku # 61119, November 27, 2018 4:44 pm ET
by On and on and on of Republik of Skidmark
There is no Hell place
So don't sweat the small stuff, dude
Just play with yourself
Haiku # 61118, November 27, 2018 3:00 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Do you mean Dante?
He was obsessed with Satan.
Whatever sells, eh?

I should read his work.
Would be good to pass the time.
As I wait for hell.

A book I enjoyed.
Satan: His Psychotherapy and Cure
by The Unfortunate Dr. Kassler, J.S.P.S.
Haiku # 61117, November 27, 2018 5:05 am ET
by df
When in third grade,
I'd shit in other kids' pants.
Then make them wear it.
Haiku # 61116, November 27, 2018 4:55 am ET
by
If the penis dies,
but the testicles live on,
what's the point of that?
Haiku # 61115, November 27, 2018 4:51 am ET
by
Elvis had a twin
He wasn't an orange dork
With a bunghole mouth
Haiku # 61114, November 27, 2018 2:05 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
One hand in pocket
Other one is...Wait, I'm nude!
That ain't a pocket
Haiku # 61113, November 26, 2018 10:38 pm ET
by Alannis Morisette of Canudia
Weird World of Haiku
Sentenced to hard labor here
Could use a Snickers
Haiku # 61112, November 26, 2018 10:36 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I remember you
Used to be the janitor
I'm a poet now
Haiku # 61111, November 26, 2018 9:27 am ET
by Former Janitor
I always enjoyed coming up behind other kids at the urinal and grabbing them and moving them around, making them piss all over the place. Janitors loved me, I'm sure.
Haiku # 61110, November 26, 2018 3:16 am ET
by df
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