BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
22 Years
340 Days
66223 Haikus
Have poets always
been so confrontational?
Like fools to their king.

Asking for a friend
questioning an enema.
Fleet bisacodyl.

So it all comes out,
as the proctologists say,
in the bitter end.

"Looks like he's had his
grande latte enema."
A great movie quote.
Haiku #61159, by df
November 30, 2018 11:07 am ET

You say "shit no wit"
as if that is a bad thing.
Someone shat you out.

Shitting is hard work.
Be respectful to your mom.
She loves you, I'm sure.

She could have flushed you.
But she kept and nurtured you.
Like U2's Bono.

So I shit haiku.
Hey, I'm not shooting up schools.
Be thankful, wee turd.
Haiku #61158, by Mr. Hankey, Circle of Poo
November 30, 2018 9:07 am ET

Push suck push suck push
Push suck push Glunk flush glug swirl
Unclogged your terlit
Haiku #61157, by Darth's plumber of Darthville
November 30, 2018 6:10 am ET

Darth school of Haiku:
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, no wit.
Just shit upon shit.
Haiku #61156, by Sensei Figpucker
November 30, 2018 3:04 am ET

Spa time with my boo
Stinking up the joint right now
Gonna get trespassed
Haiku #61155, by Smelly
November 30, 2018 1:45 am ET

A beautiful mind
And he
Haiku #61154, by Now, what of Mensa Think Tank
November 29, 2018 7:53 pm ET

Haiku proportion:
Penis poems to "others"
is one over pi.

The proof is hard to work out.
But you know it's true.

Tune in next week, kids.
I'll derive God's phone number.
He doesn't like text.
Haiku #61153, by df
November 29, 2018 5:28 pm ET

Sloppy cursive job
Illegible bachelor
Penis fountain pen
Haiku #61152, by Invisible ink of Dink
November 29, 2018 1:05 pm ET

Take zinc for your dink.
I think. In pill form or drink.
Live life on the brink.
Haiku #61151, by df
November 29, 2018 11:25 am ET

For those busy prostitutes.
Vaginal spread sheets.
Haiku #61150, by df
November 29, 2018 11:22 am ET

Haiku #61149, by Stink
November 29, 2018 11:04 am ET

Think pink mink dink stink?
Pink dink slink. Pink stink dink. think.
Slink mink. Stink mink fink
Haiku #61148, by Anonymous Poet
November 29, 2018 11:03 am ET

Think pink dink stink sink.
Slink mink fink rink brink ink wink.
Sync drink kink link blink.
Haiku #61147, by
November 29, 2018 10:19 am ET

This life will kill us
It seems like a waste of time
But just wait it out
Haiku #61146, by Anonymous Poet
November 29, 2018 5:00 am ET

you just laugh at me
When I show you my small dink
And then we both cry
Haiku #61145, by Anonymous Poet
November 29, 2018 4:41 am ET

extra small penis
Trying not to get noticed
jerkin the gherkins
Haiku #61144, by Anonymous Poet
November 29, 2018 4:37 am ET
Haiku #61143, by df
November 29, 2018 4:08 am ET

Statue of David
Ever notice his small dink?
X husband was his twin
Haiku #61142, by I'd rather not say of Around
November 29, 2018 2:39 am ET

without the cuss words,
or mention of genitals,
it's not a poem.
Haiku #61141, by true art needs genitals
November 29, 2018 12:09 am ET

That was kinda fun
Really decent poetry
You can write one too

Please submit poems
One poem a day, at least
Recite them out loud
Kuntfart Kuntfart Kunt!!
Haiku #61140, by Anonymous Poet
November 28, 2018 9:39 pm ET

Please read my poem
I worked on it all day long
Get it just right, man

Didn't use cuss words
Or mention genitalia
Needs an extra line
G Rated Poem
Haiku #61139, by Pig Dong
November 28, 2018 8:16 pm ET

Zip zip zip zip zip
Zip zip zip zip zip zip zip
Dink caught in fly
Haiku #61138, by Anonymous Poet
November 28, 2018 4:52 pm ET

Rock rock rock crack smush
Rock smush rock smush rock smush smush
Sticky werthers gramps?
Haiku #61137, by Anonymous Poet
November 28, 2018 4:50 pm ET

Jehova's Witness
Keeps them away from your door
Protection Program
Haiku #61136, by Just ask
November 28, 2018 3:21 pm ET

Your the sun
Cheerful, long yellow teeth
I think I'm in love
Haiku #61135, by Smitten
November 28, 2018 3:18 pm ET

Soggy manure life
Like a rainy day all day
If the rain wuz poop
Haiku #61134, by Bucket Filler
November 28, 2018 3:16 pm ET

Have no ha'penny?
Then let's just skin you alive
Oh, and God bless you.
Haiku #61133, by Church goer
November 28, 2018 3:13 pm ET

your smile send shock waves
that i forget i have lungs
and my legs have knees
Haiku #61132, by vince
November 28, 2018 3:10 pm ET

The children are taught to sing "Merry Christmas" with their hands held out begging for money and it never changes until they die.
Haiku #61131, by
November 28, 2018 2:17 pm ET

"When I grow up I
want to be a sacrifice
to volcano gods."
Haiku #61130, by
November 28, 2018 2:15 pm ET

You might not like filth.
That's where life begins and ends.
Don't blame me, blame God.

Every fart, turd,
and bodily excretion
is a prayer of thanks.
Haiku #61129, by df
November 28, 2018 2:11 pm ET

Can you reduce it,
Every last lyric impulse,
To sex filth vomit?
Haiku #61128, by buried deep in the figpuckers hog farm
November 28, 2018 1:21 pm ET

I aim to not aim.
It's wise to stand far from me
at the urinal.
Haiku #61127, by df
November 28, 2018 5:43 am ET

With six extra cocks
his junk looked like a bag pipe.
Big hit at gay bars.
Haiku #61126, by MgGregor's Gene Splicing, Inc. of Lock Ness
November 28, 2018 5:40 am ET

The missing bagpipes
Last spotted in Edinburgh
Look under his kilt
Haiku #61125, by Spotted Dick of Bettergetthatlookedat
November 27, 2018 9:47 pm ET

I aim to confuse
What is my chosen weapon? My shitty haikus
Haiku #61124, by William Mcgonagall of Edinburgh
November 27, 2018 9:26 pm ET

I would like a Hell.
Torture for all of my sins.
And then I could sleep.

It would be peaceful.
As long as my wife's not there.
It will be okay.
Haiku #61123, by df
November 27, 2018 9:09 pm ET

Well, you could have flushed
That's not very neighbourly
Ain't a art museum
Haiku #61122, by Hick
November 27, 2018 8:02 pm ET

bad haiku check-in:
farts, shit-stains, and suchlike filth
time to leave again
Haiku #61121, by Anonymous Poet
November 27, 2018 7:14 pm ET

I have a question
Um, do farts have syllables
Can u fart haiku?

Can u cut the cheese?
Lay a coil or drop a stew?
Make smelly haiku?
Haiku #61120, by Smelly Poet
November 27, 2018 5:57 pm ET

Important Message
Near Far wherever you Are
My fart must go on
Haiku #61119, by On and on and on of Republik of Skidmark
November 27, 2018 4:44 pm ET

There is no Hell place
So don't sweat the small stuff, dude
Just play with yourself
Haiku #61118, by Anonymous Poet
November 27, 2018 3:00 pm ET

Do you mean Dante?
He was obsessed with Satan.
Whatever sells, eh?

I should read his work.
Would be good to pass the time.
As I wait for hell.

A book I enjoyed.
Satan: His Psychotherapy and Cure
by The Unfortunate Dr. Kassler, J.S.P.S.
Haiku #61117, by df
November 27, 2018 5:05 am ET

When in third grade,
I'd shit in other kids' pants.
Then make them wear it.
Haiku #61116, by
November 27, 2018 4:55 am ET

If the penis dies,
but the testicles live on,
what's the point of that?
Haiku #61115, by
November 27, 2018 4:51 am ET

Elvis had a twin
He wasn't an orange dork
With a bunghole mouth
Haiku #61114, by Anonymous Poet
November 27, 2018 2:05 am ET

One hand in pocket
Other one is...Wait, I'm nude!
That ain't a pocket
Haiku #61113, by Alannis Morisette of Canudia
November 26, 2018 10:38 pm ET

Weird World of Haiku
Sentenced to hard labor here
Could use a Snickers
Haiku #61112, by Anonymous Poet
November 26, 2018 10:36 pm ET

I remember you
Used to be the janitor
I'm a poet now
Haiku #61111, by Former Janitor
November 26, 2018 9:27 am ET

I always enjoyed coming up behind other kids at the urinal and grabbing them and moving them around, making them piss all over the place. Janitors loved me, I'm sure.
Haiku #61110, by df
November 26, 2018 3:16 am ET