BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
22 Years
283 Days
65626 Haikus
You might not like filth.
That's where life begins and ends.
Don't blame me, blame God.

Every fart, turd,
and bodily excretion
is a prayer of thanks.
Haiku #61129, by df
November 28, 2018 2:11 pm ET

Can you reduce it,
Every last lyric impulse,
To sex filth vomit?
Haiku #61128, by buried deep in the figpuckers hog farm
November 28, 2018 1:21 pm ET

I aim to not aim.
It's wise to stand far from me
at the urinal.
Haiku #61127, by df
November 28, 2018 5:43 am ET

With six extra cocks
his junk looked like a bag pipe.
Big hit at gay bars.
Haiku #61126, by MgGregor's Gene Splicing, Inc. of Lock Ness
November 28, 2018 5:40 am ET

The missing bagpipes
Last spotted in Edinburgh
Look under his kilt
Haiku #61125, by Spotted Dick of Bettergetthatlookedat
November 27, 2018 9:47 pm ET

I aim to confuse
What is my chosen weapon? My shitty haikus
Haiku #61124, by William Mcgonagall of Edinburgh
November 27, 2018 9:26 pm ET

I would like a Hell.
Torture for all of my sins.
And then I could sleep.

It would be peaceful.
As long as my wife's not there.
It will be okay.
Haiku #61123, by df
November 27, 2018 9:09 pm ET

Well, you could have flushed
That's not very neighbourly
Ain't a art museum
Haiku #61122, by Hick
November 27, 2018 8:02 pm ET

bad haiku check-in:
farts, shit-stains, and suchlike filth
time to leave again
Haiku #61121, by Anonymous Poet
November 27, 2018 7:14 pm ET

I have a question
Um, do farts have syllables
Can u fart haiku?

Can u cut the cheese?
Lay a coil or drop a stew?
Make smelly haiku?
Haiku #61120, by Smelly Poet
November 27, 2018 5:57 pm ET

Important Message
Near Far wherever you Are
My fart must go on
Haiku #61119, by On and on and on of Republik of Skidmark
November 27, 2018 4:44 pm ET

There is no Hell place
So don't sweat the small stuff, dude
Just play with yourself
Haiku #61118, by Anonymous Poet
November 27, 2018 3:00 pm ET

Do you mean Dante?
He was obsessed with Satan.
Whatever sells, eh?

I should read his work.
Would be good to pass the time.
As I wait for hell.

A book I enjoyed.
Satan: His Psychotherapy and Cure
by The Unfortunate Dr. Kassler, J.S.P.S.
Haiku #61117, by df
November 27, 2018 5:05 am ET

When in third grade,
I'd shit in other kids' pants.
Then make them wear it.
Haiku #61116, by
November 27, 2018 4:55 am ET

If the penis dies,
but the testicles live on,
what's the point of that?
Haiku #61115, by
November 27, 2018 4:51 am ET

Elvis had a twin
He wasn't an orange dork
With a bunghole mouth
Haiku #61114, by Anonymous Poet
November 27, 2018 2:05 am ET

One hand in pocket
Other one is...Wait, I'm nude!
That ain't a pocket
Haiku #61113, by Alannis Morisette of Canudia
November 26, 2018 10:38 pm ET

Weird World of Haiku
Sentenced to hard labor here
Could use a Snickers
Haiku #61112, by Anonymous Poet
November 26, 2018 10:36 pm ET

I remember you
Used to be the janitor
I'm a poet now
Haiku #61111, by Former Janitor
November 26, 2018 9:27 am ET

I always enjoyed coming up behind other kids at the urinal and grabbing them and moving them around, making them piss all over the place. Janitors loved me, I'm sure.
Haiku #61110, by df
November 26, 2018 3:16 am ET

Then in the fourth grade
Heather had a crush on Vic
She peed on his shoe
Haiku #61109, by Anonymous Poet
November 26, 2018 12:52 am ET

I was in third grade
Kid next to me shit his pants
Turned them inside out
Haiku #61108, by Me of Memory Lane
November 26, 2018 12:51 am ET

Bend all the way down
Now push out with your rectum
Now clean up the shit
Haiku #61107, by Simon Says
November 26, 2018 12:49 am ET

When he falls asleep
I order pizza and wings
On his credit card
Haiku #61106, by John Boy Walton's Mole of Cheek
November 26, 2018 12:47 am ET

The brain is dying.
Not from lack of oxygen,
from too much haiku.
Haiku #61105, by df
November 25, 2018 11:53 pm ET

What is poetry?
Is it the sound of my fart?
Or is it the smell?
Haiku #61104, by Anonymous Poet
November 25, 2018 11:02 pm ET

No Poets Allowed
No Poets Allowed, I said.
No Poets Allowed
Haiku #61103, by Anonymous Poet
November 25, 2018 11:01 pm ET

Pubic Hair Salon
Genital tumbleweeds roll
"We do coiffs and queefs"
Haiku #61102, by Smegward Sciissorhands
November 25, 2018 9:00 pm ET

have you read the poems
where Satan has three heads
and one mouth chews Judas
Iscariot for eternity????
Haiku #61101, by vhs
November 25, 2018 8:29 pm ET

poetry is for
the last chance of expression
of the hopeless the

haiku is the suicide
poem of the samurai...
Haiku #61100, by vhs of this isn't a haiku but I am tired of life today
November 25, 2018 8:24 pm ET

So who listened to
Alice's Restaurant this
last Thanksgiving day?
Haiku #61099, by Anonymous Poet
November 25, 2018 7:12 pm ET

Listening to AC/DC conjures up images of being shat upon by Satan whilst chained under his outhouse and he's having constipation and screaming, picking the scabs from a VD sore and flicking them down on top of you with the massive piles of shite at the very lowest level of hell.
Haiku #61098, by Anonymous Poet
November 25, 2018 7:10 pm ET

Dingleberry pie.
Just like grandma used to make.
Fresh from the oven.
Haiku #61097, by df
November 25, 2018 7:06 pm ET

Mona Lisa's cunt
Vertical smile mystery
Obvious tuna
Haiku #61096, by Leonardo of Hard on Department
November 25, 2018 6:42 pm ET

Zorg Zeguulon Zerr
Zygorx Zxrog zzzis zeguulon
Zguyx zx Zorg Zerr
Haiku #61095, by Zorg of Zeguulon
November 25, 2018 6:39 pm ET

Don't bother worry
That's just a waste of your time
Jerk off instead, man
Haiku #61094, by Anonymous Poet
November 25, 2018 6:27 pm ET

Zoom lens on asshole
Wrinkles. Hairs. Dingleberries.
I'll s(h)it on your face
Haiku #61093, by Zygorx of Sgrunx
November 25, 2018 6:14 pm ET

Awful twat waffle.
Eyeful of Eiffel Tower.
Fine wine art cheese fart.
Haiku #61092, by df of French fried frog fritters fraternity
November 25, 2018 5:04 pm ET

Haiku licks my ASS.
You are a lightweight ass-lick.
Do your best. Lightweight.
Haiku #61091, by Ass- cheeks of Transcedence
November 25, 2018 5:00 pm ET

Now you will read this.
Now you will acknowledge Truth
Or burn forever.
Haiku #61090, by Haiku condemns you out of time & money
November 25, 2018 4:44 pm ET

I will end Haiku.
You will lick my abstract ass.
You have no values.
Haiku #61089, by Ass Suck of Poetic Innovation
November 25, 2018 4:37 pm ET

John Podesta is
a total criminal and
Now he stands accused.
Haiku #61088, by Haiku of Ass-suck
November 25, 2018 4:32 pm ET

do i miss you much ?
even though you can't hear me
i certainly do
Haiku #61087, by ash
November 25, 2018 3:29 am ET

I'll start a website.
DarthFigpuckerNude dot com.
For true fans of mine.
Haiku #61086, by df
November 24, 2018 11:30 pm ET

The site is broken
It keeps cutting off my words!
Somebody! Please help!
Haiku #61085, by The owner of Vancie (Adam)
November 24, 2018 9:22 pm ET

*But, she
Haiku #61084, by Vancie
November 24, 2018 9:21 pm ET

Thank you, Starkitten!
Vancie is really happy
But, she
Haiku #61083, by Vancie
November 24, 2018 9:19 pm ET

Long pig twat waffle
Mosquito pork worms cuntfart
Skateboard cranium
Haiku #61082, by Figpucker Fanclub
November 24, 2018 6:24 pm ET

Vancie, you be good
It's hard not being naughty
Let me scratch your belly
Haiku #61081, by Vancie' friend, Starkitten
November 24, 2018 5:51 pm ET

Haiku #61080, by Anonymous Poet
November 24, 2018 10:08 am ET