BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
23 Years
264 Days
67785 Haikus
Don't bother worry
That's just a waste of your time
Jerk off instead, man
Haiku #61094, by Anonymous Poet
November 25, 2018 6:27 pm ET

Zoom lens on asshole
Wrinkles. Hairs. Dingleberries.
I'll s(h)it on your face
Haiku #61093, by Zygorx of Sgrunx
November 25, 2018 6:14 pm ET

Awful twat waffle.
Eyeful of Eiffel Tower.
Fine wine art cheese fart.
Haiku #61092, by df of French fried frog fritters fraternity
November 25, 2018 5:04 pm ET

Haiku licks my ASS.
You are a lightweight ass-lick.
Do your best. Lightweight.
Haiku #61091, by Ass- cheeks of Transcedence
November 25, 2018 5:00 pm ET

Now you will read this.
Now you will acknowledge Truth
Or burn forever.
Haiku #61090, by Haiku condemns you out of time & money
November 25, 2018 4:44 pm ET

I will end Haiku.
You will lick my abstract ass.
You have no values.
Haiku #61089, by Ass Suck of Poetic Innovation
November 25, 2018 4:37 pm ET

John Podesta is
a total criminal and
Now he stands accused.
Haiku #61088, by Haiku of Ass-suck
November 25, 2018 4:32 pm ET

do i miss you much ?
even though you can't hear me
i certainly do
Haiku #61087, by ash
November 25, 2018 3:29 am ET

I'll start a website.
DarthFigpuckerNude dot com.
For true fans of mine.
Haiku #61086, by df
November 24, 2018 11:30 pm ET

The site is broken
It keeps cutting off my words!
Somebody! Please help!
Haiku #61085, by The owner of Vancie (Adam)
November 24, 2018 9:22 pm ET

*But, she
Haiku #61084, by Vancie
November 24, 2018 9:21 pm ET

Thank you, Starkitten!
Vancie is really happy
But, she
Haiku #61083, by Vancie
November 24, 2018 9:19 pm ET

Long pig twat waffle
Mosquito pork worms cuntfart
Skateboard cranium
Haiku #61082, by Figpucker Fanclub
November 24, 2018 6:24 pm ET

Vancie, you be good
It's hard not being naughty
Let me scratch your belly
Haiku #61081, by Vancie' friend, Starkitten
November 24, 2018 5:51 pm ET

Haiku #61080, by Anonymous Poet
November 24, 2018 10:08 am ET

Vancie is a dog
She is very very black
And she is a brat
Haiku #61079, by Vancie
November 24, 2018 10:06 am ET

Shimmy was a cunt
He stole our rolls of pennies
And bought tons of weed
Haiku #61078, by Rippin
November 24, 2018 4:23 am ET

Larvae puparium
Squidnick Centurion
If I named new cars
Haiku #61077, by Hi Koo
November 24, 2018 4:21 am ET

Radiating pain
into the neck from the brain
will make one insane.

Grabbing a handful
of synthetic opioids
like they were candy.

I'd rather grab tits.
Since I'm no politician
that would be okay.
Haiku #61076, by farty pants poopie face... or something
November 24, 2018 2:46 am ET

All are poetasters
And useless Turkey Basters
Yeah, and time wasters
Haiku #61075, by Outer Spacester
November 23, 2018 5:22 pm ET

Those aren
Haiku #61074, by Anonymous Poet
November 23, 2018 6:16 am ET

You might be the one
The greatest haiku poet
Haiku #61073, by Haiku Freak
November 23, 2018 6:12 am ET

Still at the table
They ate until their pants burst
Compared genitals
Haiku #61072, by I'd rather not say of Under the table
November 22, 2018 10:22 pm ET

We're having tacos
Believe me, there is no "Hell"
Some of us know that
Haiku #61071, by Anonymous Poet
November 22, 2018 7:39 pm ET

If you can't give thanks
Then burn in hell, ungrateful.
Haiku has no worth.
Haiku #61070, by Anonymous Poet
November 22, 2018 6:55 pm ET

Splatter of gravy?
Granted, I don't eat that much
C'mon, you miser!!
Haiku #61069, by John Boy Walton's Hangry Mole of John Boy Walton's face
November 22, 2018 4:11 pm ET

A hole in the pie
And Grandpa's looking sheepish
Pass the Werther's, please
Haiku #61068, by Anonymous Poet
November 22, 2018 3:01 pm ET

Moist moist moist moist moist
Moist moist moist moist moist moist moist
Moist moist moist moist moist
Haiku #61067, by Moist person of Moist place
November 22, 2018 11:36 am ET

Screwing roast turkey?
It's not beastiality.
It's making gravy.

Or you might call it,
ahem, BASTE-iality.
Pre-stuffing the bird.
Haiku #61066, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 22, 2018 7:12 am ET

Asking for a friend
Screwing a turkey carcass..
Haiku #61065, by I'd rather not say
November 22, 2018 4:31 am ET

Leftover pumpkins
Grab one off your neighbour's porch
Headless Horseman Time!!
Haiku #61064, by Fun Person
November 22, 2018 2:14 am ET

dear americans
though your president's a twat
we love you long time
Haiku #61063, by ash
November 22, 2018 1:50 am ET

there once was a poem from me
to show how said limericks be
the pattern of rhyme
and their rhythmic time
is exactly as you can now see
Haiku #61062, by ash
November 22, 2018 1:47 am ET

Define limerick.
Other than being dirty.
Rhythm, rhyme, so on.
Haiku #61061, by Edward Lear's left testicle.
November 21, 2018 8:05 pm ET

Give you sedatives
Dunk you in a vat of nog
Fuck your brains right out
Haiku #61060, by Anonymous Poet
November 21, 2018 6:59 pm ET

That ain't a limerick
You better lay off the sauce
Poet, Stay Sober!!
Haiku #61059, by Anonymous Poet
November 21, 2018 6:58 pm ET

Egg nog with rum sucks.
Drink half a gallon per day.
You must drink it straight.

Spend New Year's alone.
No one likes to fuck fatties.
Not even when drunk.
Haiku #61058, by df
November 21, 2018 6:56 pm ET

This bad haiku's a limerick.
When you read it you will be sick.
You'll vomit a bucket
of puke and shout "fuck it",
Cunt maggots and dog feces lick.
Haiku #61057, by Vaginal Flatus Discharge Beverage Beaver Hemorhage of Bloody Mary
November 21, 2018 6:51 pm ET

Santa brings presents
But why dont God and Jesus?
Cheap Motherfuckers
Haiku #61056, by Person who wants lots of presents
November 21, 2018 6:46 pm ET

I've not drank egg nog,
disappointing heart surgeons,
for about four years.
Haiku #61055, by df
November 21, 2018 5:51 pm ET

Spiked Santa's egg nog
latte with Viagra pills.
Shopping mall scandal.
Haiku #61054, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 21, 2018 5:48 pm ET

I rode a funt-cart.
It wouldn't go very fast.
It was at Wal-Mart.

Oh wait, no, I'm wrong.
It was one of those "Rascals".
The seat smelled funny.
Haiku #61053, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 21, 2018 7:37 am ET

Quantum particles
swerve inappropriately
whilst navigating.
Haiku #61052, by the way of the scoundrel
November 21, 2018 5:39 am ET

Holiday photos
Mall Santa popped a boner
Mugshot portrait now
Haiku #61051, by Elf Dentist
November 20, 2018 8:50 pm ET

Oxen pull funt-cart
Through the wastelands of Haiku
Loaded full of Funt.
Haiku #61050, by Funt-Cart of Mottypouth
November 20, 2018 5:50 pm ET

Bad Haiku website
symptomatic of our time:
pottymouth trash-talk
Haiku #61049, by Darth Kitten Starpucker of Excrementally Underwhelmed
November 20, 2018 5:47 pm ET

With that being said
With that being said...No more!!
With that being said
Haiku #61048, by Annoying person
November 20, 2018 4:25 pm ET

Ronald McDonald
He's got an orange schmeckle
Just like that Trump clown
Haiku #61047, by Oompa Loompa watcher
November 20, 2018 2:58 pm ET

Salami dildo
Delicatessen window
Dinner and a show
Haiku #61046, by New York Mona of New Jersey
November 20, 2018 2:55 pm ET

Since the last update
Forecast calls for more poems
Chance of urine floods
Haiku #61045, by Whiskey sip of Barstool
November 20, 2018 2:52 pm ET