Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 135 Days and 76969 Haiku later...

extra small penis
Trying not to get noticed
jerkin the gherkins
Haiku # 61144, November 29, 2018 4:37 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
https://www.artsy.net/article/artsy-editorial-ancient-greek-sculptures-small-penises
Haiku # 61143, November 29, 2018 4:08 am ET
by df
Statue of David
Ever notice his small dink?
X husband was his twin
Haiku # 61142, November 29, 2018 2:39 am ET
by I'd rather not say of Around
without the cuss words,
or mention of genitals,
it's not a poem.
Haiku # 61141, November 29, 2018 12:09 am ET
by true art needs genitals
That was kinda fun
Really decent poetry
You can write one too

Please submit poems
One poem a day, at least
Recite them out loud
Kuntfart Kuntfart Kunt!!
Haiku # 61140, November 28, 2018 9:39 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Please read my poem
I worked on it all day long
Get it just right, man

Didn't use cuss words
Or mention genitalia
Needs an extra line
G Rated Poem
Haiku # 61139, November 28, 2018 8:16 pm ET
by Pig Dong
Zip zip zip zip zip
Zip zip zip zip zip zip zip
Dink caught in fly
Haiku # 61138, November 28, 2018 4:52 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Rock rock rock crack smush
Rock smush rock smush rock smush smush
Sticky werthers gramps?
Haiku # 61137, November 28, 2018 4:50 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Jehova's Witness
Keeps them away from your door
Protection Program
Haiku # 61136, November 28, 2018 3:21 pm ET
by Just ask
Your smile..like the sun
Cheerful, long yellow teeth
I think I'm in love
Haiku # 61135, November 28, 2018 3:18 pm ET
by Smitten
Soggy manure life
Like a rainy day all day
If the rain wuz poop
Haiku # 61134, November 28, 2018 3:16 pm ET
by Bucket Filler
Have no ha'penny?
Then let's just skin you alive
Oh, and God bless you.
Haiku # 61133, November 28, 2018 3:13 pm ET
by Church goer
your smile send shock waves
that i forget i have lungs
and my legs have knees
Haiku # 61132, November 28, 2018 3:10 pm ET
by vince
The children are taught to sing "Merry Christmas" with their hands held out begging for money and it never changes until they die.
Haiku # 61131, November 28, 2018 2:17 pm ET
by
"When I grow up I
want to be a sacrifice
to volcano gods."
Haiku # 61130, November 28, 2018 2:15 pm ET
by
You might not like filth.
That's where life begins and ends.
Don't blame me, blame God.

Every fart, turd,
and bodily excretion
is a prayer of thanks.
Haiku # 61129, November 28, 2018 2:11 pm ET
by df
Can you reduce it,
Every last lyric impulse,
To sex filth vomit?
Haiku # 61128, November 28, 2018 1:21 pm ET
by buried deep in the figpuckers hog farm
I aim to not aim.
It's wise to stand far from me
at the urinal.
Haiku # 61127, November 28, 2018 5:43 am ET
by df
With six extra cocks
his junk looked like a bag pipe.
Big hit at gay bars.
Haiku # 61126, November 28, 2018 5:40 am ET
by MgGregor's Gene Splicing, Inc. of Lock Ness
The missing bagpipes
Last spotted in Edinburgh
Look under his kilt
Haiku # 61125, November 27, 2018 9:47 pm ET
by Spotted Dick of Bettergetthatlookedat
I aim to confuse
What is my chosen weapon? My shitty haikus
Haiku # 61124, November 27, 2018 9:26 pm ET
by William Mcgonagall of Edinburgh
I would like a Hell.
Torture for all of my sins.
And then I could sleep.

It would be peaceful.
As long as my wife's not there.
It will be okay.
Haiku # 61123, November 27, 2018 9:09 pm ET
by df
Well, you could have flushed
That's not very neighbourly
Ain't a art museum
Haiku # 61122, November 27, 2018 8:02 pm ET
by Hick
bad haiku check-in:
farts, shit-stains, and suchlike filth
time to leave again
Haiku # 61121, November 27, 2018 7:14 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I have a question
Um, do farts have syllables
Can u fart haiku?

Can u cut the cheese?
Lay a coil or drop a stew?
Make smelly haiku?
Haiku # 61120, November 27, 2018 5:57 pm ET
by Smelly Poet
Important Message
Near Far wherever you Are
My fart must go on
Haiku # 61119, November 27, 2018 4:44 pm ET
by On and on and on of Republik of Skidmark
There is no Hell place
So don't sweat the small stuff, dude
Just play with yourself
Haiku # 61118, November 27, 2018 3:00 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Do you mean Dante?
He was obsessed with Satan.
Whatever sells, eh?

I should read his work.
Would be good to pass the time.
As I wait for hell.

A book I enjoyed.
Satan: His Psychotherapy and Cure
by The Unfortunate Dr. Kassler, J.S.P.S.
Haiku # 61117, November 27, 2018 5:05 am ET
by df
When in third grade,
I'd shit in other kids' pants.
Then make them wear it.
Haiku # 61116, November 27, 2018 4:55 am ET
by
If the penis dies,
but the testicles live on,
what's the point of that?
Haiku # 61115, November 27, 2018 4:51 am ET
by
Elvis had a twin
He wasn't an orange dork
With a bunghole mouth
Haiku # 61114, November 27, 2018 2:05 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
One hand in pocket
Other one is...Wait, I'm nude!
That ain't a pocket
Haiku # 61113, November 26, 2018 10:38 pm ET
by Alannis Morisette of Canudia
Weird World of Haiku
Sentenced to hard labor here
Could use a Snickers
Haiku # 61112, November 26, 2018 10:36 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I remember you
Used to be the janitor
I'm a poet now
Haiku # 61111, November 26, 2018 9:27 am ET
by Former Janitor
I always enjoyed coming up behind other kids at the urinal and grabbing them and moving them around, making them piss all over the place. Janitors loved me, I'm sure.
Haiku # 61110, November 26, 2018 3:16 am ET
by df
Then in the fourth grade
Heather had a crush on Vic
She peed on his shoe
Haiku # 61109, November 26, 2018 12:52 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I was in third grade
Kid next to me shit his pants
Turned them inside out
Haiku # 61108, November 26, 2018 12:51 am ET
by Me of Memory Lane
Bend all the way down
Now push out with your rectum
Now clean up the shit
Haiku # 61107, November 26, 2018 12:49 am ET
by Simon Says
When he falls asleep
I order pizza and wings
On his credit card
Haiku # 61106, November 26, 2018 12:47 am ET
by John Boy Walton's Mole of Cheek
The brain is dying.
Not from lack of oxygen,
from too much haiku.
Haiku # 61105, November 25, 2018 11:53 pm ET
by df
What is poetry?
Is it the sound of my fart?
Or is it the smell?
Haiku # 61104, November 25, 2018 11:02 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
No Poets Allowed
No Poets Allowed, I said.
No Poets Allowed
Haiku # 61103, November 25, 2018 11:01 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Pubic Hair Salon
Genital tumbleweeds roll
"We do coiffs and queefs"
Haiku # 61102, November 25, 2018 9:00 pm ET
by Smegward Sciissorhands
have you read the poems
where Satan has three heads
and one mouth chews Judas
Iscariot for eternity????
Haiku # 61101, November 25, 2018 8:29 pm ET
by vhs
poetry is for
the last chance of expression
of the hopeless the

haiku is the suicide
poem of the samurai...
Haiku # 61100, November 25, 2018 8:24 pm ET
by vhs of this isn't a haiku but I am tired of life today
So who listened to
Alice's Restaurant this
last Thanksgiving day?
Haiku # 61099, November 25, 2018 7:12 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Listening to AC/DC conjures up images of being shat upon by Satan whilst chained under his outhouse and he's having constipation and screaming, picking the scabs from a VD sore and flicking them down on top of you with the massive piles of shite at the very lowest level of hell.
Haiku # 61098, November 25, 2018 7:10 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Dingleberry pie.
Just like grandma used to make.
Fresh from the oven.
Haiku # 61097, November 25, 2018 7:06 pm ET
by df
Mona Lisa's cunt
Vertical smile mystery
Obvious tuna
Haiku # 61096, November 25, 2018 6:42 pm ET
by Leonardo of Hard on Department
Zorg Zeguulon Zerr
Zygorx Zxrog zzzis zeguulon
Zguyx zx Zorg Zerr
Haiku # 61095, November 25, 2018 6:39 pm ET
by Zorg of Zeguulon
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