Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 136 Days and 76969 Haiku later...

Can you reduce it,
Every last lyric impulse,
To sex filth vomit?
Haiku # 61128, November 28, 2018 1:21 pm ET
by buried deep in the figpuckers hog farm
I aim to not aim.
It's wise to stand far from me
at the urinal.
Haiku # 61127, November 28, 2018 5:43 am ET
by df
With six extra cocks
his junk looked like a bag pipe.
Big hit at gay bars.
Haiku # 61126, November 28, 2018 5:40 am ET
by MgGregor's Gene Splicing, Inc. of Lock Ness
The missing bagpipes
Last spotted in Edinburgh
Look under his kilt
Haiku # 61125, November 27, 2018 9:47 pm ET
by Spotted Dick of Bettergetthatlookedat
I aim to confuse
What is my chosen weapon? My shitty haikus
Haiku # 61124, November 27, 2018 9:26 pm ET
by William Mcgonagall of Edinburgh
I would like a Hell.
Torture for all of my sins.
And then I could sleep.

It would be peaceful.
As long as my wife's not there.
It will be okay.
Haiku # 61123, November 27, 2018 9:09 pm ET
by df
Well, you could have flushed
That's not very neighbourly
Ain't a art museum
Haiku # 61122, November 27, 2018 8:02 pm ET
by Hick
bad haiku check-in:
farts, shit-stains, and suchlike filth
time to leave again
Haiku # 61121, November 27, 2018 7:14 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I have a question
Um, do farts have syllables
Can u fart haiku?

Can u cut the cheese?
Lay a coil or drop a stew?
Make smelly haiku?
Haiku # 61120, November 27, 2018 5:57 pm ET
by Smelly Poet
Important Message
Near Far wherever you Are
My fart must go on
Haiku # 61119, November 27, 2018 4:44 pm ET
by On and on and on of Republik of Skidmark
There is no Hell place
So don't sweat the small stuff, dude
Just play with yourself
Haiku # 61118, November 27, 2018 3:00 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Do you mean Dante?
He was obsessed with Satan.
Whatever sells, eh?

I should read his work.
Would be good to pass the time.
As I wait for hell.

A book I enjoyed.
Satan: His Psychotherapy and Cure
by The Unfortunate Dr. Kassler, J.S.P.S.
Haiku # 61117, November 27, 2018 5:05 am ET
by df
When in third grade,
I'd shit in other kids' pants.
Then make them wear it.
Haiku # 61116, November 27, 2018 4:55 am ET
by
If the penis dies,
but the testicles live on,
what's the point of that?
Haiku # 61115, November 27, 2018 4:51 am ET
by
Elvis had a twin
He wasn't an orange dork
With a bunghole mouth
Haiku # 61114, November 27, 2018 2:05 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
One hand in pocket
Other one is...Wait, I'm nude!
That ain't a pocket
Haiku # 61113, November 26, 2018 10:38 pm ET
by Alannis Morisette of Canudia
Weird World of Haiku
Sentenced to hard labor here
Could use a Snickers
Haiku # 61112, November 26, 2018 10:36 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I remember you
Used to be the janitor
I'm a poet now
Haiku # 61111, November 26, 2018 9:27 am ET
by Former Janitor
I always enjoyed coming up behind other kids at the urinal and grabbing them and moving them around, making them piss all over the place. Janitors loved me, I'm sure.
Haiku # 61110, November 26, 2018 3:16 am ET
by df
Then in the fourth grade
Heather had a crush on Vic
She peed on his shoe
Haiku # 61109, November 26, 2018 12:52 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I was in third grade
Kid next to me shit his pants
Turned them inside out
Haiku # 61108, November 26, 2018 12:51 am ET
by Me of Memory Lane
Bend all the way down
Now push out with your rectum
Now clean up the shit
Haiku # 61107, November 26, 2018 12:49 am ET
by Simon Says
When he falls asleep
I order pizza and wings
On his credit card
Haiku # 61106, November 26, 2018 12:47 am ET
by John Boy Walton's Mole of Cheek
The brain is dying.
Not from lack of oxygen,
from too much haiku.
Haiku # 61105, November 25, 2018 11:53 pm ET
by df
What is poetry?
Is it the sound of my fart?
Or is it the smell?
Haiku # 61104, November 25, 2018 11:02 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
No Poets Allowed
No Poets Allowed, I said.
No Poets Allowed
Haiku # 61103, November 25, 2018 11:01 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Pubic Hair Salon
Genital tumbleweeds roll
"We do coiffs and queefs"
Haiku # 61102, November 25, 2018 9:00 pm ET
by Smegward Sciissorhands
have you read the poems
where Satan has three heads
and one mouth chews Judas
Iscariot for eternity????
Haiku # 61101, November 25, 2018 8:29 pm ET
by vhs
poetry is for
the last chance of expression
of the hopeless the

haiku is the suicide
poem of the samurai...
Haiku # 61100, November 25, 2018 8:24 pm ET
by vhs of this isn't a haiku but I am tired of life today
So who listened to
Alice's Restaurant this
last Thanksgiving day?
Haiku # 61099, November 25, 2018 7:12 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Listening to AC/DC conjures up images of being shat upon by Satan whilst chained under his outhouse and he's having constipation and screaming, picking the scabs from a VD sore and flicking them down on top of you with the massive piles of shite at the very lowest level of hell.
Haiku # 61098, November 25, 2018 7:10 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Dingleberry pie.
Just like grandma used to make.
Fresh from the oven.
Haiku # 61097, November 25, 2018 7:06 pm ET
by df
Mona Lisa's cunt
Vertical smile mystery
Obvious tuna
Haiku # 61096, November 25, 2018 6:42 pm ET
by Leonardo of Hard on Department
Zorg Zeguulon Zerr
Zygorx Zxrog zzzis zeguulon
Zguyx zx Zorg Zerr
Haiku # 61095, November 25, 2018 6:39 pm ET
by Zorg of Zeguulon
Don't bother worry
That's just a waste of your time
Jerk off instead, man
Haiku # 61094, November 25, 2018 6:27 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Zoom lens on asshole
Wrinkles. Hairs. Dingleberries.
I'll s(h)it on your face
Haiku # 61093, November 25, 2018 6:14 pm ET
by Zygorx of Sgrunx
Awful twat waffle.
Eyeful of Eiffel Tower.
Fine wine art cheese fart.
Haiku # 61092, November 25, 2018 5:04 pm ET
by df of French fried frog fritters fraternity
Haiku licks my ASS.
You are a lightweight ass-lick.
Do your best. Lightweight.
Haiku # 61091, November 25, 2018 5:00 pm ET
by Ass- cheeks of Transcedence
Now you will read this.
Now you will acknowledge Truth
Or burn forever.
Haiku # 61090, November 25, 2018 4:44 pm ET
by Haiku condemns you out of time & money
I will end Haiku.
You will lick my abstract ass.
You have no values.
Haiku # 61089, November 25, 2018 4:37 pm ET
by Ass Suck of Poetic Innovation
John Podesta is
a total criminal and
Now he stands accused.
Haiku # 61088, November 25, 2018 4:32 pm ET
by Haiku of Ass-suck
do i miss you much ?
even though you can't hear me
i certainly do
Haiku # 61087, November 25, 2018 3:29 am ET
by ash
I'll start a website.
DarthFigpuckerNude dot com.
For true fans of mine.
Haiku # 61086, November 24, 2018 11:30 pm ET
by df
The site is broken
It keeps cutting off my words!
Somebody! Please help!
Haiku # 61085, November 24, 2018 9:22 pm ET
by The owner of Vancie (Adam)
*But, she
Haiku # 61084, November 24, 2018 9:21 pm ET
by Vancie
Thank you, Starkitten!
Vancie is really happy
But, she
Haiku # 61083, November 24, 2018 9:19 pm ET
by Vancie
Long pig twat waffle
Mosquito pork worms cuntfart
Skateboard cranium
Haiku # 61082, November 24, 2018 6:24 pm ET
by Figpucker Fanclub
Vancie, you be good
It's hard not being naughty
Let me scratch your belly
Haiku # 61081, November 24, 2018 5:51 pm ET
by Vancie' friend, Starkitten
Haiku.
Haiku # 61080, November 24, 2018 10:08 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Vancie is a dog
She is very very black
And she is a brat
Haiku # 61079, November 24, 2018 10:06 am ET
by Vancie
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