Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 136 Days and 76970 Haiku later...

When in third grade,
I'd shit in other kids' pants.
Then make them wear it.
Haiku # 61116, November 27, 2018 4:55 am ET
by
If the penis dies,
but the testicles live on,
what's the point of that?
Haiku # 61115, November 27, 2018 4:51 am ET
by
Elvis had a twin
He wasn't an orange dork
With a bunghole mouth
Haiku # 61114, November 27, 2018 2:05 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
One hand in pocket
Other one is...Wait, I'm nude!
That ain't a pocket
Haiku # 61113, November 26, 2018 10:38 pm ET
by Alannis Morisette of Canudia
Weird World of Haiku
Sentenced to hard labor here
Could use a Snickers
Haiku # 61112, November 26, 2018 10:36 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I remember you
Used to be the janitor
I'm a poet now
Haiku # 61111, November 26, 2018 9:27 am ET
by Former Janitor
I always enjoyed coming up behind other kids at the urinal and grabbing them and moving them around, making them piss all over the place. Janitors loved me, I'm sure.
Haiku # 61110, November 26, 2018 3:16 am ET
by df
Then in the fourth grade
Heather had a crush on Vic
She peed on his shoe
Haiku # 61109, November 26, 2018 12:52 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I was in third grade
Kid next to me shit his pants
Turned them inside out
Haiku # 61108, November 26, 2018 12:51 am ET
by Me of Memory Lane
Bend all the way down
Now push out with your rectum
Now clean up the shit
Haiku # 61107, November 26, 2018 12:49 am ET
by Simon Says
When he falls asleep
I order pizza and wings
On his credit card
Haiku # 61106, November 26, 2018 12:47 am ET
by John Boy Walton's Mole of Cheek
The brain is dying.
Not from lack of oxygen,
from too much haiku.
Haiku # 61105, November 25, 2018 11:53 pm ET
by df
What is poetry?
Is it the sound of my fart?
Or is it the smell?
Haiku # 61104, November 25, 2018 11:02 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
No Poets Allowed
No Poets Allowed, I said.
No Poets Allowed
Haiku # 61103, November 25, 2018 11:01 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Pubic Hair Salon
Genital tumbleweeds roll
"We do coiffs and queefs"
Haiku # 61102, November 25, 2018 9:00 pm ET
by Smegward Sciissorhands
have you read the poems
where Satan has three heads
and one mouth chews Judas
Iscariot for eternity????
Haiku # 61101, November 25, 2018 8:29 pm ET
by vhs
poetry is for
the last chance of expression
of the hopeless the

haiku is the suicide
poem of the samurai...
Haiku # 61100, November 25, 2018 8:24 pm ET
by vhs of this isn't a haiku but I am tired of life today
So who listened to
Alice's Restaurant this
last Thanksgiving day?
Haiku # 61099, November 25, 2018 7:12 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Listening to AC/DC conjures up images of being shat upon by Satan whilst chained under his outhouse and he's having constipation and screaming, picking the scabs from a VD sore and flicking them down on top of you with the massive piles of shite at the very lowest level of hell.
Haiku # 61098, November 25, 2018 7:10 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Dingleberry pie.
Just like grandma used to make.
Fresh from the oven.
Haiku # 61097, November 25, 2018 7:06 pm ET
by df
Mona Lisa's cunt
Vertical smile mystery
Obvious tuna
Haiku # 61096, November 25, 2018 6:42 pm ET
by Leonardo of Hard on Department
Zorg Zeguulon Zerr
Zygorx Zxrog zzzis zeguulon
Zguyx zx Zorg Zerr
Haiku # 61095, November 25, 2018 6:39 pm ET
by Zorg of Zeguulon
Don't bother worry
That's just a waste of your time
Jerk off instead, man
Haiku # 61094, November 25, 2018 6:27 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Zoom lens on asshole
Wrinkles. Hairs. Dingleberries.
I'll s(h)it on your face
Haiku # 61093, November 25, 2018 6:14 pm ET
by Zygorx of Sgrunx
Awful twat waffle.
Eyeful of Eiffel Tower.
Fine wine art cheese fart.
Haiku # 61092, November 25, 2018 5:04 pm ET
by df of French fried frog fritters fraternity
Haiku licks my ASS.
You are a lightweight ass-lick.
Do your best. Lightweight.
Haiku # 61091, November 25, 2018 5:00 pm ET
by Ass- cheeks of Transcedence
Now you will read this.
Now you will acknowledge Truth
Or burn forever.
Haiku # 61090, November 25, 2018 4:44 pm ET
by Haiku condemns you out of time & money
I will end Haiku.
You will lick my abstract ass.
You have no values.
Haiku # 61089, November 25, 2018 4:37 pm ET
by Ass Suck of Poetic Innovation
John Podesta is
a total criminal and
Now he stands accused.
Haiku # 61088, November 25, 2018 4:32 pm ET
by Haiku of Ass-suck
do i miss you much ?
even though you can't hear me
i certainly do
Haiku # 61087, November 25, 2018 3:29 am ET
by ash
I'll start a website.
DarthFigpuckerNude dot com.
For true fans of mine.
Haiku # 61086, November 24, 2018 11:30 pm ET
by df
The site is broken
It keeps cutting off my words!
Somebody! Please help!
Haiku # 61085, November 24, 2018 9:22 pm ET
by The owner of Vancie (Adam)
*But, she
Haiku # 61084, November 24, 2018 9:21 pm ET
by Vancie
Thank you, Starkitten!
Vancie is really happy
But, she
Haiku # 61083, November 24, 2018 9:19 pm ET
by Vancie
Long pig twat waffle
Mosquito pork worms cuntfart
Skateboard cranium
Haiku # 61082, November 24, 2018 6:24 pm ET
by Figpucker Fanclub
Vancie, you be good
It's hard not being naughty
Let me scratch your belly
Haiku # 61081, November 24, 2018 5:51 pm ET
by Vancie' friend, Starkitten
Haiku.
Haiku # 61080, November 24, 2018 10:08 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Vancie is a dog
She is very very black
And she is a brat
Haiku # 61079, November 24, 2018 10:06 am ET
by Vancie
Shimmy was a cunt
He stole our rolls of pennies
And bought tons of weed
Haiku # 61078, November 24, 2018 4:23 am ET
by Rippin
Larvae puparium
Squidnick Centurion
If I named new cars
Haiku # 61077, November 24, 2018 4:21 am ET
by Hi Koo
Radiating pain
into the neck from the brain
will make one insane.

Grabbing a handful
of synthetic opioids
like they were candy.

I'd rather grab tits.
Since I'm no politician
that would be okay.
Haiku # 61076, November 24, 2018 2:46 am ET
by farty pants poopie face... or something
All are poetasters
And useless Turkey Basters
Yeah, and time wasters
Haiku # 61075, November 23, 2018 5:22 pm ET
by Outer Spacester
Those aren
Haiku # 61074, November 23, 2018 6:16 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
You might be the one
The greatest haiku poet
You
Haiku # 61073, November 23, 2018 6:12 am ET
by Haiku Freak
Still at the table
They ate until their pants burst
Compared genitals
Haiku # 61072, November 22, 2018 10:22 pm ET
by I'd rather not say of Under the table
We're having tacos
Believe me, there is no "Hell"
Some of us know that
Haiku # 61071, November 22, 2018 7:39 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
If you can't give thanks
Then burn in hell, ungrateful.
Haiku has no worth.
Haiku # 61070, November 22, 2018 6:55 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Splatter of gravy?
Granted, I don't eat that much
C'mon, you miser!!
Haiku # 61069, November 22, 2018 4:11 pm ET
by John Boy Walton's Hangry Mole of John Boy Walton's face
A hole in the pie
And Grandpa's looking sheepish
Pass the Werther's, please
Haiku # 61068, November 22, 2018 3:01 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Moist moist moist moist moist
Moist moist moist moist moist moist moist
Moist moist moist moist moist
Haiku # 61067, November 22, 2018 11:36 am ET
by Moist person of Moist place
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