I always enjoyed coming up behind other kids at the urinal and grabbing them and moving them around, making them piss all over the place. Janitors loved me, I'm sure.

Then in the fourth grade
Heather had a crush on Vic
She peed on his shoe

I was in third grade
Kid next to me shit his pants
Turned them inside out

Bend all the way down
Now push out with your rectum
Now clean up the shit

When he falls asleep
I order pizza and wings
On his credit card

The brain is dying.
Not from lack of oxygen,
from too much haiku.

What is poetry?
Is it the sound of my fart?
Or is it the smell?

No Poets Allowed
No Poets Allowed, I said.
No Poets Allowed

Pubic Hair Salon
Genital tumbleweeds roll
"We do coiffs and queefs"

have you read the poems
where Satan has three heads
and one mouth chews Judas
Iscariot for eternity????

poetry is for
the last chance of expression
of the hopeless the

haiku is the suicide
poem of the samurai...

So who listened to
Alice's Restaurant this
last Thanksgiving day?

Listening to AC/DC conjures up images of being shat upon by Satan whilst chained under his outhouse and he's having constipation and screaming, picking the scabs from a VD sore and flicking them down on top of you with the massive piles of shite at the very lowest level of hell.

Dingleberry pie.
Just like grandma used to make.
Fresh from the oven.

Mona Lisa's cunt
Vertical smile mystery
Obvious tuna

Zorg Zeguulon Zerr
Zygorx Zxrog zzzis zeguulon
Zguyx zx Zorg Zerr

Don't bother worry
That's just a waste of your time
Jerk off instead, man

Zoom lens on asshole
Wrinkles. Hairs. Dingleberries.
I'll s(h)it on your face

Awful twat waffle.
Eyeful of Eiffel Tower.
Fine wine art cheese fart.

Haiku licks my ASS.
You are a lightweight ass-lick.
Do your best. Lightweight.

Now you will read this.
Now you will acknowledge Truth
Or burn forever.

I will end Haiku.
You will lick my abstract ass.
You have no values.

John Podesta is
a total criminal and
Now he stands accused.

do i miss you much ?
even though you can't hear me
i certainly do

I'll start a website.
DarthFigpuckerNude dot com.
For true fans of mine.

The site is broken
It keeps cutting off my words!
Somebody! Please help!

*But, she

Thank you, Starkitten!
Vancie is really happy
But, she

Long pig twat waffle
Mosquito pork worms cuntfart
Skateboard cranium

Vancie, you be good
It's hard not being naughty
Let me scratch your belly

Haiku.

Vancie is a dog
She is very very black
And she is a brat

Shimmy was a cunt
He stole our rolls of pennies
And bought tons of weed

Larvae puparium
Squidnick Centurion
If I named new cars

Radiating pain
into the neck from the brain
will make one insane.

Grabbing a handful
of synthetic opioids
like they were candy.

I'd rather grab tits.
Since I'm no politician
that would be okay.

All are poetasters
And useless Turkey Basters
Yeah, and time wasters

Those aren

You might be the one
The greatest haiku poet
You

Still at the table
They ate until their pants burst
Compared genitals

We're having tacos
Believe me, there is no "Hell"
Some of us know that

If you can't give thanks
Then burn in hell, ungrateful.
Haiku has no worth.

Splatter of gravy?
Granted, I don't eat that much
C'mon, you miser!!

A hole in the pie
And Grandpa's looking sheepish
Pass the Werther's, please

Moist moist moist moist moist
Moist moist moist moist moist moist moist
Moist moist moist moist moist

Screwing roast turkey?
It's not beastiality.
It's making gravy.

Or you might call it,
ahem, BASTE-iality.
Pre-stuffing the bird.

Asking for a friend
Screwing a turkey carcass..
Biestiality?

Leftover pumpkins
Grab one off your neighbour's porch
Headless Horseman Time!!

dear americans
though your president's a twat
we love you long time

there once was a poem from me
to show how said limericks be
the pattern of rhyme
and their rhythmic time
is exactly as you can now see

Define limerick.
Other than being dirty.
Rhythm, rhyme, so on.