Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 40 Days and 77431 Haiku later...

The children are taught to sing "Merry Christmas" with their hands held out begging for money and it never changes until they die.
Haiku # 61131, November 28, 2018 2:17 pm ET
by
"When I grow up I
want to be a sacrifice
to volcano gods."
Haiku # 61130, November 28, 2018 2:15 pm ET
by
You might not like filth.
That's where life begins and ends.
Don't blame me, blame God.

Every fart, turd,
and bodily excretion
is a prayer of thanks.
Haiku # 61129, November 28, 2018 2:11 pm ET
by df
Can you reduce it,
Every last lyric impulse,
To sex filth vomit?
Haiku # 61128, November 28, 2018 1:21 pm ET
by buried deep in the figpuckers hog farm
I aim to not aim.
It's wise to stand far from me
at the urinal.
Haiku # 61127, November 28, 2018 5:43 am ET
by df
With six extra cocks
his junk looked like a bag pipe.
Big hit at gay bars.
Haiku # 61126, November 28, 2018 5:40 am ET
by MgGregor's Gene Splicing, Inc. of Lock Ness
The missing bagpipes
Last spotted in Edinburgh
Look under his kilt
Haiku # 61125, November 27, 2018 9:47 pm ET
by Spotted Dick of Bettergetthatlookedat
I aim to confuse
What is my chosen weapon? My shitty haikus
Haiku # 61124, November 27, 2018 9:26 pm ET
by William Mcgonagall of Edinburgh
I would like a Hell.
Torture for all of my sins.
And then I could sleep.

It would be peaceful.
As long as my wife's not there.
It will be okay.
Haiku # 61123, November 27, 2018 9:09 pm ET
by df
Well, you could have flushed
That's not very neighbourly
Ain't a art museum
Haiku # 61122, November 27, 2018 8:02 pm ET
by Hick
bad haiku check-in:
farts, shit-stains, and suchlike filth
time to leave again
Haiku # 61121, November 27, 2018 7:14 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I have a question
Um, do farts have syllables
Can u fart haiku?

Can u cut the cheese?
Lay a coil or drop a stew?
Make smelly haiku?
Haiku # 61120, November 27, 2018 5:57 pm ET
by Smelly Poet
Important Message
Near Far wherever you Are
My fart must go on
Haiku # 61119, November 27, 2018 4:44 pm ET
by On and on and on of Republik of Skidmark
There is no Hell place
So don't sweat the small stuff, dude
Just play with yourself
Haiku # 61118, November 27, 2018 3:00 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Do you mean Dante?
He was obsessed with Satan.
Whatever sells, eh?

I should read his work.
Would be good to pass the time.
As I wait for hell.

A book I enjoyed.
Satan: His Psychotherapy and Cure
by The Unfortunate Dr. Kassler, J.S.P.S.
Haiku # 61117, November 27, 2018 5:05 am ET
by df
When in third grade,
I'd shit in other kids' pants.
Then make them wear it.
Haiku # 61116, November 27, 2018 4:55 am ET
by
If the penis dies,
but the testicles live on,
what's the point of that?
Haiku # 61115, November 27, 2018 4:51 am ET
by
Elvis had a twin
He wasn't an orange dork
With a bunghole mouth
Haiku # 61114, November 27, 2018 2:05 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
One hand in pocket
Other one is...Wait, I'm nude!
That ain't a pocket
Haiku # 61113, November 26, 2018 10:38 pm ET
by Alannis Morisette of Canudia
Weird World of Haiku
Sentenced to hard labor here
Could use a Snickers
Haiku # 61112, November 26, 2018 10:36 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I remember you
Used to be the janitor
I'm a poet now
Haiku # 61111, November 26, 2018 9:27 am ET
by Former Janitor
I always enjoyed coming up behind other kids at the urinal and grabbing them and moving them around, making them piss all over the place. Janitors loved me, I'm sure.
Haiku # 61110, November 26, 2018 3:16 am ET
by df
Then in the fourth grade
Heather had a crush on Vic
She peed on his shoe
Haiku # 61109, November 26, 2018 12:52 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I was in third grade
Kid next to me shit his pants
Turned them inside out
Haiku # 61108, November 26, 2018 12:51 am ET
by Me of Memory Lane
Bend all the way down
Now push out with your rectum
Now clean up the shit
Haiku # 61107, November 26, 2018 12:49 am ET
by Simon Says
When he falls asleep
I order pizza and wings
On his credit card
Haiku # 61106, November 26, 2018 12:47 am ET
by John Boy Walton's Mole of Cheek
The brain is dying.
Not from lack of oxygen,
from too much haiku.
Haiku # 61105, November 25, 2018 11:53 pm ET
by df
What is poetry?
Is it the sound of my fart?
Or is it the smell?
Haiku # 61104, November 25, 2018 11:02 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
No Poets Allowed
No Poets Allowed, I said.
No Poets Allowed
Haiku # 61103, November 25, 2018 11:01 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Pubic Hair Salon
Genital tumbleweeds roll
"We do coiffs and queefs"
Haiku # 61102, November 25, 2018 9:00 pm ET
by Smegward Sciissorhands
have you read the poems
where Satan has three heads
and one mouth chews Judas
Iscariot for eternity????
Haiku # 61101, November 25, 2018 8:29 pm ET
by vhs
poetry is for
the last chance of expression
of the hopeless the

haiku is the suicide
poem of the samurai...
Haiku # 61100, November 25, 2018 8:24 pm ET
by vhs of this isn't a haiku but I am tired of life today
So who listened to
Alice's Restaurant this
last Thanksgiving day?
Haiku # 61099, November 25, 2018 7:12 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Listening to AC/DC conjures up images of being shat upon by Satan whilst chained under his outhouse and he's having constipation and screaming, picking the scabs from a VD sore and flicking them down on top of you with the massive piles of shite at the very lowest level of hell.
Haiku # 61098, November 25, 2018 7:10 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Dingleberry pie.
Just like grandma used to make.
Fresh from the oven.
Haiku # 61097, November 25, 2018 7:06 pm ET
by df
Mona Lisa's cunt
Vertical smile mystery
Obvious tuna
Haiku # 61096, November 25, 2018 6:42 pm ET
by Leonardo of Hard on Department
Zorg Zeguulon Zerr
Zygorx Zxrog zzzis zeguulon
Zguyx zx Zorg Zerr
Haiku # 61095, November 25, 2018 6:39 pm ET
by Zorg of Zeguulon
Don't bother worry
That's just a waste of your time
Jerk off instead, man
Haiku # 61094, November 25, 2018 6:27 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Zoom lens on asshole
Wrinkles. Hairs. Dingleberries.
I'll s(h)it on your face
Haiku # 61093, November 25, 2018 6:14 pm ET
by Zygorx of Sgrunx
Awful twat waffle.
Eyeful of Eiffel Tower.
Fine wine art cheese fart.
Haiku # 61092, November 25, 2018 5:04 pm ET
by df of French fried frog fritters fraternity
Haiku licks my ASS.
You are a lightweight ass-lick.
Do your best. Lightweight.
Haiku # 61091, November 25, 2018 5:00 pm ET
by Ass- cheeks of Transcedence
Now you will read this.
Now you will acknowledge Truth
Or burn forever.
Haiku # 61090, November 25, 2018 4:44 pm ET
by Haiku condemns you out of time & money
I will end Haiku.
You will lick my abstract ass.
You have no values.
Haiku # 61089, November 25, 2018 4:37 pm ET
by Ass Suck of Poetic Innovation
John Podesta is
a total criminal and
Now he stands accused.
Haiku # 61088, November 25, 2018 4:32 pm ET
by Haiku of Ass-suck
do i miss you much ?
even though you can't hear me
i certainly do
Haiku # 61087, November 25, 2018 3:29 am ET
by ash
I'll start a website.
DarthFigpuckerNude dot com.
For true fans of mine.
Haiku # 61086, November 24, 2018 11:30 pm ET
by df
The site is broken
It keeps cutting off my words!
Somebody! Please help!
Haiku # 61085, November 24, 2018 9:22 pm ET
by The owner of Vancie (Adam)
*But, she
Haiku # 61084, November 24, 2018 9:21 pm ET
by Vancie
Thank you, Starkitten!
Vancie is really happy
But, she
Haiku # 61083, November 24, 2018 9:19 pm ET
by Vancie
Long pig twat waffle
Mosquito pork worms cuntfart
Skateboard cranium
Haiku # 61082, November 24, 2018 6:24 pm ET
by Figpucker Fanclub
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