BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
22 Years
340 Days
66223 Haikus
This life will kill us
It seems like a waste of time
But just wait it out
Haiku #61146, by Anonymous Poet
November 29, 2018 5:00 am ET

you just laugh at me
When I show you my small dink
And then we both cry
Haiku #61145, by Anonymous Poet
November 29, 2018 4:41 am ET

extra small penis
Trying not to get noticed
jerkin the gherkins
Haiku #61144, by Anonymous Poet
November 29, 2018 4:37 am ET
Haiku #61143, by df
November 29, 2018 4:08 am ET

Statue of David
Ever notice his small dink?
X husband was his twin
Haiku #61142, by I'd rather not say of Around
November 29, 2018 2:39 am ET

without the cuss words,
or mention of genitals,
it's not a poem.
Haiku #61141, by true art needs genitals
November 29, 2018 12:09 am ET

That was kinda fun
Really decent poetry
You can write one too

Please submit poems
One poem a day, at least
Recite them out loud
Kuntfart Kuntfart Kunt!!
Haiku #61140, by Anonymous Poet
November 28, 2018 9:39 pm ET

Please read my poem
I worked on it all day long
Get it just right, man

Didn't use cuss words
Or mention genitalia
Needs an extra line
G Rated Poem
Haiku #61139, by Pig Dong
November 28, 2018 8:16 pm ET

Zip zip zip zip zip
Zip zip zip zip zip zip zip
Dink caught in fly
Haiku #61138, by Anonymous Poet
November 28, 2018 4:52 pm ET

Rock rock rock crack smush
Rock smush rock smush rock smush smush
Sticky werthers gramps?
Haiku #61137, by Anonymous Poet
November 28, 2018 4:50 pm ET

Jehova's Witness
Keeps them away from your door
Protection Program
Haiku #61136, by Just ask
November 28, 2018 3:21 pm ET

Your the sun
Cheerful, long yellow teeth
I think I'm in love
Haiku #61135, by Smitten
November 28, 2018 3:18 pm ET

Soggy manure life
Like a rainy day all day
If the rain wuz poop
Haiku #61134, by Bucket Filler
November 28, 2018 3:16 pm ET

Have no ha'penny?
Then let's just skin you alive
Oh, and God bless you.
Haiku #61133, by Church goer
November 28, 2018 3:13 pm ET

your smile send shock waves
that i forget i have lungs
and my legs have knees
Haiku #61132, by vince
November 28, 2018 3:10 pm ET

The children are taught to sing "Merry Christmas" with their hands held out begging for money and it never changes until they die.
Haiku #61131, by
November 28, 2018 2:17 pm ET

"When I grow up I
want to be a sacrifice
to volcano gods."
Haiku #61130, by
November 28, 2018 2:15 pm ET

You might not like filth.
That's where life begins and ends.
Don't blame me, blame God.

Every fart, turd,
and bodily excretion
is a prayer of thanks.
Haiku #61129, by df
November 28, 2018 2:11 pm ET

Can you reduce it,
Every last lyric impulse,
To sex filth vomit?
Haiku #61128, by buried deep in the figpuckers hog farm
November 28, 2018 1:21 pm ET

I aim to not aim.
It's wise to stand far from me
at the urinal.
Haiku #61127, by df
November 28, 2018 5:43 am ET

With six extra cocks
his junk looked like a bag pipe.
Big hit at gay bars.
Haiku #61126, by MgGregor's Gene Splicing, Inc. of Lock Ness
November 28, 2018 5:40 am ET

The missing bagpipes
Last spotted in Edinburgh
Look under his kilt
Haiku #61125, by Spotted Dick of Bettergetthatlookedat
November 27, 2018 9:47 pm ET

I aim to confuse
What is my chosen weapon? My shitty haikus
Haiku #61124, by William Mcgonagall of Edinburgh
November 27, 2018 9:26 pm ET

I would like a Hell.
Torture for all of my sins.
And then I could sleep.

It would be peaceful.
As long as my wife's not there.
It will be okay.
Haiku #61123, by df
November 27, 2018 9:09 pm ET

Well, you could have flushed
That's not very neighbourly
Ain't a art museum
Haiku #61122, by Hick
November 27, 2018 8:02 pm ET

bad haiku check-in:
farts, shit-stains, and suchlike filth
time to leave again
Haiku #61121, by Anonymous Poet
November 27, 2018 7:14 pm ET

I have a question
Um, do farts have syllables
Can u fart haiku?

Can u cut the cheese?
Lay a coil or drop a stew?
Make smelly haiku?
Haiku #61120, by Smelly Poet
November 27, 2018 5:57 pm ET

Important Message
Near Far wherever you Are
My fart must go on
Haiku #61119, by On and on and on of Republik of Skidmark
November 27, 2018 4:44 pm ET

There is no Hell place
So don't sweat the small stuff, dude
Just play with yourself
Haiku #61118, by Anonymous Poet
November 27, 2018 3:00 pm ET

Do you mean Dante?
He was obsessed with Satan.
Whatever sells, eh?

I should read his work.
Would be good to pass the time.
As I wait for hell.

A book I enjoyed.
Satan: His Psychotherapy and Cure
by The Unfortunate Dr. Kassler, J.S.P.S.
Haiku #61117, by df
November 27, 2018 5:05 am ET

When in third grade,
I'd shit in other kids' pants.
Then make them wear it.
Haiku #61116, by
November 27, 2018 4:55 am ET

If the penis dies,
but the testicles live on,
what's the point of that?
Haiku #61115, by
November 27, 2018 4:51 am ET

Elvis had a twin
He wasn't an orange dork
With a bunghole mouth
Haiku #61114, by Anonymous Poet
November 27, 2018 2:05 am ET

One hand in pocket
Other one is...Wait, I'm nude!
That ain't a pocket
Haiku #61113, by Alannis Morisette of Canudia
November 26, 2018 10:38 pm ET

Weird World of Haiku
Sentenced to hard labor here
Could use a Snickers
Haiku #61112, by Anonymous Poet
November 26, 2018 10:36 pm ET

I remember you
Used to be the janitor
I'm a poet now
Haiku #61111, by Former Janitor
November 26, 2018 9:27 am ET

I always enjoyed coming up behind other kids at the urinal and grabbing them and moving them around, making them piss all over the place. Janitors loved me, I'm sure.
Haiku #61110, by df
November 26, 2018 3:16 am ET

Then in the fourth grade
Heather had a crush on Vic
She peed on his shoe
Haiku #61109, by Anonymous Poet
November 26, 2018 12:52 am ET

I was in third grade
Kid next to me shit his pants
Turned them inside out
Haiku #61108, by Me of Memory Lane
November 26, 2018 12:51 am ET

Bend all the way down
Now push out with your rectum
Now clean up the shit
Haiku #61107, by Simon Says
November 26, 2018 12:49 am ET

When he falls asleep
I order pizza and wings
On his credit card
Haiku #61106, by John Boy Walton's Mole of Cheek
November 26, 2018 12:47 am ET

The brain is dying.
Not from lack of oxygen,
from too much haiku.
Haiku #61105, by df
November 25, 2018 11:53 pm ET

What is poetry?
Is it the sound of my fart?
Or is it the smell?
Haiku #61104, by Anonymous Poet
November 25, 2018 11:02 pm ET

No Poets Allowed
No Poets Allowed, I said.
No Poets Allowed
Haiku #61103, by Anonymous Poet
November 25, 2018 11:01 pm ET

Pubic Hair Salon
Genital tumbleweeds roll
"We do coiffs and queefs"
Haiku #61102, by Smegward Sciissorhands
November 25, 2018 9:00 pm ET

have you read the poems
where Satan has three heads
and one mouth chews Judas
Iscariot for eternity????
Haiku #61101, by vhs
November 25, 2018 8:29 pm ET

poetry is for
the last chance of expression
of the hopeless the

haiku is the suicide
poem of the samurai...
Haiku #61100, by vhs of this isn't a haiku but I am tired of life today
November 25, 2018 8:24 pm ET

So who listened to
Alice's Restaurant this
last Thanksgiving day?
Haiku #61099, by Anonymous Poet
November 25, 2018 7:12 pm ET

Listening to AC/DC conjures up images of being shat upon by Satan whilst chained under his outhouse and he's having constipation and screaming, picking the scabs from a VD sore and flicking them down on top of you with the massive piles of shite at the very lowest level of hell.
Haiku #61098, by Anonymous Poet
November 25, 2018 7:10 pm ET

Dingleberry pie.
Just like grandma used to make.
Fresh from the oven.
Haiku #61097, by df
November 25, 2018 7:06 pm ET