Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 21 Days and 77400 Haiku later...

Armies march humbly
Wolf like sheep glances quickly
Leaves drift lonely now
Haiku # 60163, October 14, 2018 6:13 pm ET
by MONARCH
You won't get blisters
If you don't rake up the leaves
Ban leaf blowers, too
Haiku # 60162, October 14, 2018 6:13 pm ET
by Starkitten of Far away from rakes
Bird flies throughout all
Tender hug collapsing slow
Eyes dart back and forth
Haiku # 60161, October 14, 2018 6:12 pm ET
by MONARCH
I don't know what a
disconnect will do for me
or to me, the leaves

outside sure do look
like a wonderful change to
mixed up laptop things
Haiku # 60160, October 14, 2018 12:27 pm ET
by vhs
there are insane folks
in the world who will lash out
at complete strangers

I'm worried about
someone i care about right
now so Im concerned
Haiku # 60159, October 14, 2018 11:43 am ET
by vhs
Be a kid again
Jumping into rain puddles
Shoes dark like mud cake
Haiku # 60158, October 14, 2018 9:02 am ET
by annacuppiecake of australia
The end of the world
Is not the end of the world
There's still stuff to do
Haiku # 60157, October 14, 2018 8:53 am ET
by MONARCH of Wasteland
Farts are my life now
The only problem with this
The wind is howling
Haiku # 60156, October 14, 2018 6:53 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
The best way out there
Just got the best thing ever
Seatless Bicycle
Haiku # 60155, October 14, 2018 2:30 am ET
by Hurts So Good
I have never seen
The wind. I am not sure why.
I just want a kite
Haiku # 60154, October 14, 2018 2:28 am ET
by Greedy
The best thing now is
The wind is howling. I can't
Hear my nasty farts
Haiku # 60153, October 14, 2018 2:27 am ET
by Huh.?
Nasty rat and cat
I just woke up from my nap
I am a huge cat
Haiku # 60152, October 14, 2018 2:25 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Joel from my third grade
Shat his pants but solved the prob
Turned them inside out
Haiku # 60151, October 14, 2018 2:21 am ET
by Problem Solving Lithuanian
Clammy blue cheese
Aged for years in a dark cave
Bat shit everywhere

Fuck. Lost the flashlights
Too dark. Stranded and doomed
In the Earth's bowels

Plink. Plop. Trickle.drop
So we ate all the blue cheese
Cut eggers all night
Haiku # 60150, October 14, 2018 2:18 am ET
by Cave Dweller of Cave

John Boy Walton's mole
An existential crisis
"I'm not a pimple!"
Haiku # 60149, October 13, 2018 11:39 pm ET
by Roving Reporter of Walton's Mountain
Cargo Cult drop off
Pencils, Volleyball, Pez, Gum
Lightbulbs, Pocky Sticks
Haiku # 60148, October 13, 2018 11:35 pm ET
by Original Prime Pantry of Incoming
Frankfurt School: weenies
Roast them slow over a fire
serve with kraut on roll
Haiku # 60147, October 13, 2018 10:19 pm ET
by hungry Zombies of the brainwashed cult
Email Hangman
Ol_ _ HO_S_@hotmail.com
Saved you a brownie
Haiku # 60146, October 13, 2018 9:50 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
ABBA 45s
Saved up. Bought them at Woolworth's
My son sings them too
Haiku # 60145, October 13, 2018 9:45 pm ET
by He loves the ABBA girls of Super Trouper
Home karaoke:
Singing with my daughter, yeah!
ABBA greatest hits.
Haiku # 60144, October 13, 2018 9:28 pm ET
by the eternal beauty of Agnetha in 1977
Ganja brownies, right?!
If so, I'll be right over.
email your address:

darthfigpucker2@gmail.com
Haiku # 60143, October 13, 2018 9:24 pm ET
by df
I Just made brownies
Huge aereolas on tap
Korova Milk Bar
Haiku # 60142, October 13, 2018 8:58 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I think I'm pregnant.
Craving large leg of... something.
Ostrich? Carabao?

Raw bloody meat flesh.
A large frosty mug of beer.
And ten pairs of tits.

Young pink perky breasts,
jiggling, oscillating,
circular motion.

"Your dick is so big!"
"That was an amazing belch!"
"Have another steak."

"Buy us one more drink."
Eight hundred dollar bar tab.
Hangover of kings.
Haiku # 60141, October 13, 2018 8:48 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER of I guess I wasn't pregnant after all.
I just know guar gum
From gluten free baking days
It gives you the runs
Haiku # 60140, October 13, 2018 8:31 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
i think it is just
i feel things like i want
to be taken as

a serious guy
on a discord chat but folks
come and go at whim
Haiku # 60139, October 13, 2018 7:59 pm ET
by vhs
the internet has
lost it's charm if it had any
now it just sucks
Haiku # 60138, October 13, 2018 7:52 pm ET
by vhs
and just to think i
watched a video with the
band GWAR mentioned yo...
Haiku # 60137, October 13, 2018 7:40 pm ET
by vhs
Laundry Staff on Strike
Sticky Pants! Demand More Pay!
And it Ain't Werther's
Haiku # 60136, October 13, 2018 7:25 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Wilfred Brimley's ghost
Apparition. Second Floor
Pennies from Heaven
Haiku # 60135, October 13, 2018 7:23 pm ET
by Patrick Swayze's crypt of Makin ' it Rain
Feel the rumble, now
Hey-ho, It's Jack Albertson
You old horn dog, you
Haiku # 60134, October 13, 2018 7:18 pm ET
by Uncouth Fountain of Youth
Gramps, Throw down your cane
Use your triskellion penis
Wind back in the sails
Haiku # 60133, October 13, 2018 7:15 pm ET
by It ain't Werthers of Sticky Pocket
A cute angina
Dentureless Adventure Ward
Raging Woody Ward
Haiku # 60132, October 13, 2018 7:13 pm ET
by Golden Years Rest Home of You can hear the moans 5 mikes away without your hearing aid
What the world needs now:
Rest home Viagra scandal.
Heart meds got switched up.

Heart attacks and smiles.
Dozens of raped orderlies.
Dangerous geezers.
Haiku # 60131, October 13, 2018 6:45 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Can almost see you
Was recruited in college
For remote viewing
Haiku # 60130, October 13, 2018 6:23 pm ET
by Training but only stayed in program 2 yrs of Was studying Russian Language at time
meh maybe you have
a special talent for the
spooking of ai...
Haiku # 60129, October 13, 2018 5:58 pm ET
by vhs
Down and down we descend... nobody wins a race to the bottom
Haiku # 60128, October 13, 2018 5:35 pm ET
by Chris Cuomo of Astroglide Commercial
Question for the boys
Hard work to get a boner?
See them everywhere.
Haiku # 60127, October 13, 2018 5:21 pm ET
by Starkitten of Anyone standing next to me gets one
Come on vhs.
You just need some Viagra
if it's not working.

Remember back when
every other post was spam
for cheap boner pills?
Haiku # 60126, October 13, 2018 5:08 pm ET
by df
like when i do the
recapatcha it won't load
on my tablet right now
Haiku # 60124, October 13, 2018 4:52 pm ET
by vhs
that's not exactly
what I'm saying, my hardware
is acting weird now

so say how to fix
a wonky samsung tablet
or opera browser?
Haiku # 60123, October 13, 2018 4:49 pm ET
by vhs
Don't go, vhs
Think of our mental health
We're a little off
Haiku # 60122, October 13, 2018 4:02 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Bend it like Posh Spice
Origami of the dink
Tattooed wrinkle stick
Haiku # 60121, October 13, 2018 3:59 pm ET
by Scary Spice of Spice Rack
stuff isn't working for
me like it should so i think
things will be off now
Haiku # 60120, October 13, 2018 3:58 pm ET
by vhs
I'm a bad mo-fo.
Ate toasted bagel, cream cheese,
with kimchi on it.

And to top that off
old durian for dessert.
A deadly combo.

But, to be honest,
I'm not a total bad-ass.
The cream cheese was "lite".

Tomorrow dog brain
pate on rye, sauerkraut,
garlic, and goat cheese.
Haiku # 60119, October 13, 2018 6:16 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
David Letterman
Stars in all my fantasies
Even with the beard
Haiku # 60118, October 13, 2018 5:14 am ET
by Starkitten
Fired up on Vegemite
Punching kangaroos out cold
Wissing on the flowers
Haiku # 60117, October 13, 2018 5:10 am ET
by The Wisser
Meow meow meow #MeToo
Seeking justice against perv
David Letterman
Haiku # 60116, October 13, 2018 4:58 am ET
by Frantic Housecat
Chainsaw starts at dawn
He rushes outside quickly
And sprays them with hose
Haiku # 60115, October 13, 2018 4:55 am ET
by dvd
these yellow flowers
quiet shy souls of nature
wait to be noticed
Haiku # 60114, October 13, 2018 3:23 am ET
by annacuppiecake of australia
David Letterman
Leapt to my desk like a cat
Showed me his ding dong
Haiku # 60113, October 12, 2018 11:34 pm ET
by Meow
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