Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 136 Days and 76970 Haiku later...

Frankfurt School: weenies
Roast them slow over a fire
serve with kraut on roll
Haiku # 60147, October 13, 2018 10:19 pm ET
by hungry Zombies of the brainwashed cult
Email Hangman
Ol_ _ HO_S_@hotmail.com
Saved you a brownie
Haiku # 60146, October 13, 2018 9:50 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
ABBA 45s
Saved up. Bought them at Woolworth's
My son sings them too
Haiku # 60145, October 13, 2018 9:45 pm ET
by He loves the ABBA girls of Super Trouper
Home karaoke:
Singing with my daughter, yeah!
ABBA greatest hits.
Haiku # 60144, October 13, 2018 9:28 pm ET
by the eternal beauty of Agnetha in 1977
Ganja brownies, right?!
If so, I'll be right over.
email your address:

darthfigpucker2@gmail.com
Haiku # 60143, October 13, 2018 9:24 pm ET
by df
I Just made brownies
Huge aereolas on tap
Korova Milk Bar
Haiku # 60142, October 13, 2018 8:58 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I think I'm pregnant.
Craving large leg of... something.
Ostrich? Carabao?

Raw bloody meat flesh.
A large frosty mug of beer.
And ten pairs of tits.

Young pink perky breasts,
jiggling, oscillating,
circular motion.

"Your dick is so big!"
"That was an amazing belch!"
"Have another steak."

"Buy us one more drink."
Eight hundred dollar bar tab.
Hangover of kings.
Haiku # 60141, October 13, 2018 8:48 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER of I guess I wasn't pregnant after all.
I just know guar gum
From gluten free baking days
It gives you the runs
Haiku # 60140, October 13, 2018 8:31 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
i think it is just
i feel things like i want
to be taken as

a serious guy
on a discord chat but folks
come and go at whim
Haiku # 60139, October 13, 2018 7:59 pm ET
by vhs
the internet has
lost it's charm if it had any
now it just sucks
Haiku # 60138, October 13, 2018 7:52 pm ET
by vhs
and just to think i
watched a video with the
band GWAR mentioned yo...
Haiku # 60137, October 13, 2018 7:40 pm ET
by vhs
Laundry Staff on Strike
Sticky Pants! Demand More Pay!
And it Ain't Werther's
Haiku # 60136, October 13, 2018 7:25 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Wilfred Brimley's ghost
Apparition. Second Floor
Pennies from Heaven
Haiku # 60135, October 13, 2018 7:23 pm ET
by Patrick Swayze's crypt of Makin ' it Rain
Feel the rumble, now
Hey-ho, It's Jack Albertson
You old horn dog, you
Haiku # 60134, October 13, 2018 7:18 pm ET
by Uncouth Fountain of Youth
Gramps, Throw down your cane
Use your triskellion penis
Wind back in the sails
Haiku # 60133, October 13, 2018 7:15 pm ET
by It ain't Werthers of Sticky Pocket
A cute angina
Dentureless Adventure Ward
Raging Woody Ward
Haiku # 60132, October 13, 2018 7:13 pm ET
by Golden Years Rest Home of You can hear the moans 5 mikes away without your hearing aid
What the world needs now:
Rest home Viagra scandal.
Heart meds got switched up.

Heart attacks and smiles.
Dozens of raped orderlies.
Dangerous geezers.
Haiku # 60131, October 13, 2018 6:45 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Can almost see you
Was recruited in college
For remote viewing
Haiku # 60130, October 13, 2018 6:23 pm ET
by Training but only stayed in program 2 yrs of Was studying Russian Language at time
meh maybe you have
a special talent for the
spooking of ai...
Haiku # 60129, October 13, 2018 5:58 pm ET
by vhs
Down and down we descend... nobody wins a race to the bottom
Haiku # 60128, October 13, 2018 5:35 pm ET
by Chris Cuomo of Astroglide Commercial
Question for the boys
Hard work to get a boner?
See them everywhere.
Haiku # 60127, October 13, 2018 5:21 pm ET
by Starkitten of Anyone standing next to me gets one
Come on vhs.
You just need some Viagra
if it's not working.

Remember back when
every other post was spam
for cheap boner pills?
Haiku # 60126, October 13, 2018 5:08 pm ET
by df
like when i do the
recapatcha it won't load
on my tablet right now
Haiku # 60124, October 13, 2018 4:52 pm ET
by vhs
that's not exactly
what I'm saying, my hardware
is acting weird now

so say how to fix
a wonky samsung tablet
or opera browser?
Haiku # 60123, October 13, 2018 4:49 pm ET
by vhs
Don't go, vhs
Think of our mental health
We're a little off
Haiku # 60122, October 13, 2018 4:02 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Bend it like Posh Spice
Origami of the dink
Tattooed wrinkle stick
Haiku # 60121, October 13, 2018 3:59 pm ET
by Scary Spice of Spice Rack
stuff isn't working for
me like it should so i think
things will be off now
Haiku # 60120, October 13, 2018 3:58 pm ET
by vhs
I'm a bad mo-fo.
Ate toasted bagel, cream cheese,
with kimchi on it.

And to top that off
old durian for dessert.
A deadly combo.

But, to be honest,
I'm not a total bad-ass.
The cream cheese was "lite".

Tomorrow dog brain
pate on rye, sauerkraut,
garlic, and goat cheese.
Haiku # 60119, October 13, 2018 6:16 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
David Letterman
Stars in all my fantasies
Even with the beard
Haiku # 60118, October 13, 2018 5:14 am ET
by Starkitten
Fired up on Vegemite
Punching kangaroos out cold
Wissing on the flowers
Haiku # 60117, October 13, 2018 5:10 am ET
by The Wisser
Meow meow meow #MeToo
Seeking justice against perv
David Letterman
Haiku # 60116, October 13, 2018 4:58 am ET
by Frantic Housecat
Chainsaw starts at dawn
He rushes outside quickly
And sprays them with hose
Haiku # 60115, October 13, 2018 4:55 am ET
by dvd
these yellow flowers
quiet shy souls of nature
wait to be noticed
Haiku # 60114, October 13, 2018 3:23 am ET
by annacuppiecake of australia
David Letterman
Leapt to my desk like a cat
Showed me his ding dong
Haiku # 60113, October 12, 2018 11:34 pm ET
by Meow
Don't use mobile app
Online deposit function
Sperm on iPad screen
Haiku # 60112, October 12, 2018 11:28 pm ET
by Ralph Nader of Far Out
Hey, Look out below...
If we still used chamber pots
And had good manners
Haiku # 60111, October 12, 2018 11:24 pm ET
by Person who pees in office coffee pot of Near the Coffee Carafe
Invent something, dude
Rubic's Haikube or board game
Mow some lawns, paper route
Haiku # 60110, October 12, 2018 11:20 pm ET
by Path to Riches
Don't let others help.
They only get in the way.
Be your own boss-man.

All year long you will
be employee of the month.
But there's a downside.

Masturbation is
workplace sexual assault
when you're self-employed.

Own your own sperm bank.
Self-enjoyed is self-employed.
Deposit withdrawals.
Haiku # 60109, October 12, 2018 11:15 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Think about it
African American
Elon Musk is one
Haiku # 60108, October 12, 2018 10:07 pm ET
by Food For Thought of Meatspace
old t shirt for sale
on email website, the quiet
bookstore nook i found

still exists...goodbye
malfunctioning internet world
hello meat space again
Haiku # 60107, October 12, 2018 10:04 pm ET
by vhs
this had better work
lord vader... we are risking
much with this gamble...
Haiku # 60106, October 12, 2018 9:37 pm ET
by vhs
things aren't working
like I'd like because i let
others help me out
Haiku # 60105, October 12, 2018 9:34 pm ET
by vhs
disgust, fear, anger
frustration, demonstrations
rhetoric
Haiku # 60104, October 12, 2018 9:31 pm ET
by vhs
Haikupotamous
Plugged up Snuffleupagus
Giant Enema
Haiku # 60103, October 12, 2018 7:17 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Wringing my hands now
How could God let this happen
Why is He so mean?
Haiku # 60102, October 12, 2018 7:14 pm ET
by Creeped out of Not in Church
Neanderthal child
Sesame Street on Lockdown
Big Bird ate the kid
Haiku # 60101, October 12, 2018 7:12 pm ET
by Roving Reporter John Boy Walton's mole of John Boy Walton's face
Just ate a burger
I figure nothing to lose
Morgellons. It's Hell
Haiku # 60100, October 12, 2018 7:01 pm ET
by A living Hell of Disease
I want hamburgers.
I know, beef is bad for you.
As bad as Thai whores?

Raw, bloody, with AIDS,
and addicted to strange drugs.
The cows, not the whores.
Haiku # 60099, October 12, 2018 6:37 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
I would be jailed there
My feet are very ugly
They don't smell bad though
Haiku # 60098, October 12, 2018 6:34 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
What I liked best was
the stir-fried insects, but don't
buy from street vendors.

Too much MSG.
I like my bugs natural.
Honest bug dealer.

heh heh...
Haiku # 60097, October 12, 2018 6:30 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
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