Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 39 Days and 77431 Haiku later...

Haikupotamous
Plugged up Snuffleupagus
Giant Enema
Haiku # 60103, October 12, 2018 7:17 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Wringing my hands now
How could God let this happen
Why is He so mean?
Haiku # 60102, October 12, 2018 7:14 pm ET
by Creeped out of Not in Church
Neanderthal child
Sesame Street on Lockdown
Big Bird ate the kid
Haiku # 60101, October 12, 2018 7:12 pm ET
by Roving Reporter John Boy Walton's mole of John Boy Walton's face
Just ate a burger
I figure nothing to lose
Morgellons. It's Hell
Haiku # 60100, October 12, 2018 7:01 pm ET
by A living Hell of Disease
I want hamburgers.
I know, beef is bad for you.
As bad as Thai whores?

Raw, bloody, with AIDS,
and addicted to strange drugs.
The cows, not the whores.
Haiku # 60099, October 12, 2018 6:37 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
I would be jailed there
My feet are very ugly
They don't smell bad though
Haiku # 60098, October 12, 2018 6:34 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
What I liked best was
the stir-fried insects, but don't
buy from street vendors.

Too much MSG.
I like my bugs natural.
Honest bug dealer.

heh heh...
Haiku # 60097, October 12, 2018 6:30 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Leaving wife and kids?
Gautauma Sidhartha would
know all about that.

He whored around too.
Said he was under a tree.
They believed that shit!

Say that in Thailand
and you'll spend life in prison.
Fucking religion.
Haiku # 60096, October 12, 2018 6:26 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Bite the monkeys back.
Your responsibility.
You have to teach them.
Haiku # 60095, October 12, 2018 6:20 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
A whiz with numbers
Born with eleven fingers
That's just on one hand
Haiku # 60094, October 12, 2018 5:49 pm ET
by Human Calculator
Old Mr. Fritzl
Enjoyed Thailand Vacation
Left the family home
Haiku # 60093, October 12, 2018 3:56 pm ET
by Dungeons and Daughters Enthusiasts
I have a webbed ass
The crack starts. Stops. Starts again.
Thank you for your time
Haiku # 60092, October 12, 2018 3:52 pm ET
by Slightly Webbed Ass Cracks of PNW
The biting monkeys
Attacked them on Thailand trip
Extended Vacay
Haiku # 60091, October 12, 2018 3:50 pm ET
by For course of rabies shots of Monkey business
Haiku of Hardware
Refrigerators
More bad refrigerators
Refrigerator
Haiku # 60090, October 12, 2018 3:17 pm ET
by Johny Johny of Texas
One Mississipi
Two Mississipi rivers
Three Mississipi
(Haiku of Waiting)
Haiku # 60089, October 12, 2018 3:15 pm ET
by Johny Johny of Texas
Poems are weird
Haikus are way weirder than-
Limited syllab-
Haiku # 60088, October 12, 2018 3:14 pm ET
by Johny Johny of Texas
Been to Thailand twice.
The sex and the food are great.
I recommend it.
Haiku # 60087, October 12, 2018 2:18 pm ET
by df
They stopped for Funyuns
Shared impulse to rob the store
Clerk tied to a chair
Haiku # 60086, October 12, 2018 1:30 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk
Autumn Goose Festival Time
Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk
Haiku # 60085, October 12, 2018 12:42 pm ET
by Starkitten
Imagine D.P.
Moved to Thailand for the sex
Or was it the food?
Haiku # 60084, October 12, 2018 12:15 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
The clock is ticking.
Thirty minutes to whore time.
Suck that dollar dick.

Mathematical
prostitution profession
makes me hate people.

Guess it beats starving.
Got bills to feed, kids to pay.
Or something like that.

Fucking straight lines.
y equals m x plus b.
Who can't do that shit?!

Rich spoiled Arabs.
Oil wealth makes them lazy.
Lucky me, I guess.
Haiku # 60083, October 12, 2018 7:35 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
The Sphinx's sphincter
Don't want blue tincture pee pee.
Drinked her blue lotus.
Haiku # 60082, October 12, 2018 7:27 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Finally reached the Sphinx
Tried to fuck it up the ass
Never left the couch
Haiku # 60081, October 12, 2018 5:41 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Sand in my anus
Soldiering on. Sunburnt crisp.
Stopped to wank once
Haiku # 60080, October 12, 2018 5:13 am ET
by Wanker
Unbelievable
Epic crotch rot and chafing
Crossing the desert
Haiku # 60079, October 12, 2018 5:10 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Don't drink the water
We were thirsty. Drank it all
Started pissing blue
Haiku # 60078, October 12, 2018 5:01 am ET
by Toxic
Bone dry camel's dung
Crumbled. Rolled up in Zig Zags
Walked like Egyptians
Haiku # 60077, October 12, 2018 4:56 am ET
by Dung smokers
Monsters at the gate.
Should I allow them access?
They enjoy my flute.
Haiku # 60076, October 12, 2018 4:56 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Hoisted her hiney.
Tiny shiny vaginy.
Tastes rather briny.
Haiku # 60075, October 12, 2018 4:54 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
They oft eat sea food,
retaining much mercury,
dulling their IQ.
Haiku # 60074, October 12, 2018 4:40 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Hannibal Lecter's
in the mood for a rude dude
to become fine food.
Haiku # 60073, October 12, 2018 4:38 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Promiscuity.
Puerile penile projectile. ~o ~o
Prematurity.
Haiku # 60072, October 12, 2018 4:28 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
It's customary
Vomit in your dinner plate
When finished dining
Haiku # 60071, October 12, 2018 4:21 am ET
by Show gratitude to chef
Empty Rice Bowl Mind
Clear night for remote viewing
You'll get a stiff neck
Haiku # 60070, October 12, 2018 4:10 am ET
by You should sit up straight
I have a bunch of small cuts
All over my hands and I'm worried
I'll get staph or MRSA
Haiku # 60069, October 12, 2018 3:57 am ET
by Simpleton
The server at the Chinese food place
Is extremely flamboyant
Therefore I distrust him immensely
Haiku # 60068, October 12, 2018 3:57 am ET
by Simpleton
Why aren't plastic goods
Made to be compostable?
It's like pollution is intentional
Haiku # 60067, October 12, 2018 3:56 am ET
by Simpleton
When Hollywood goes full retard
They will begin to make remakes
Of their previous remakes
Haiku # 60066, October 12, 2018 3:54 am ET
by Simpleton
Have you ever asked someone
How their day is going and then
Accidentally ask them again?
Haiku # 60065, October 12, 2018 3:51 am ET
by Simpleton
This site is strange
I don't know what a haiku is
Or how I got here
Haiku # 60064, October 12, 2018 3:50 am ET
by Simpleton
I enjoy other cultures
They have a variety of different foods
Which I like to eat
Haiku # 60063, October 12, 2018 3:50 am ET
by Simpleton
Bubble up just lke...
Oh, you know where I'm going.
More toilet humor.

I know... sometimes life is too much.
I try to clean up litter in a 3rd world shithole and people look at me like I'm a lunatic. Almost wishing I'd stayed in the US. Might return some day... or maybe Europe or Australia. Tired of being around those who don't know and don't care and just point the way to the next 10 cent synthetic meal and glue huffers and too many hand held out to you, thinking you'll save them, not knowing they can do that themselves if only they would try.

Now you've got me started. Ah, life.
Haiku # 60062, October 11, 2018 11:03 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
DF Poor Eyesight
Brown Bubbles in Bathysphere
Smelly Aero Bar
Haiku # 60061, October 11, 2018 11:02 pm ET
by No worries of Car Wash
i enjoyed writing
those "unhinged" poems, but it
was more cathartic

sometimes i feel those
things have to bubble up else
they will blow on up
Haiku # 60060, October 11, 2018 9:38 pm ET
by vhs
sometimes people just
bearing their honests feelings
and thoughts....scary...
Haiku # 60059, October 11, 2018 9:34 pm ET
by vhs
Oops, sorry 'bout that.
I swear I thought that was soap.
Hard and slippery.
Haiku # 60058, October 11, 2018 8:22 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
I hope you don't mind.
My farts make a Jacuzzi.
Pink stinky bubbles.
Haiku # 60057, October 11, 2018 8:19 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
My Haiku brothers
Hop in my pink bathysphere
Ride around the sea
Haiku # 60056, October 11, 2018 7:36 pm ET
by Friendly Starkitten of Pep Rally for our friend. Give me a V...H...S!!
Hey, even Yoda bailed.
Death is for corpses.
"To cheat death is a power only one has achieved."

Anyway, back to real live. I have work to do... fucking chem lab report for some damn Arab student too lazy to do his own work. Fuck I hate lab reports.
Haiku # 60055, October 11, 2018 7:20 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
We should waste time on Facebook?! Fuck that!
Haiku # 60054, October 11, 2018 7:17 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
< 50 Less Recent Haiku 50 More Recent Haiku >