Imagine D.P.
Moved to Thailand for the sex
Or was it the food?

The clock is ticking.
Thirty minutes to whore time.
Suck that dollar dick.

Mathematical
prostitution profession
makes me hate people.

Guess it beats starving.
Got bills to feed, kids to pay.
Or something like that.

Fucking straight lines.
y equals m x plus b.
Who can't do that shit?!

Rich spoiled Arabs.
Oil wealth makes them lazy.
Lucky me, I guess.

The Sphinx's sphincter
Don't want blue tincture pee pee.
Drinked her blue lotus.

Finally reached the Sphinx
Tried to fuck it up the ass
Never left the couch

Sand in my anus
Soldiering on. Sunburnt crisp.
Stopped to wank once

Unbelievable
Epic crotch rot and chafing
Crossing the desert

Don't drink the water
We were thirsty. Drank it all
Started pissing blue

Bone dry camel's dung
Crumbled. Rolled up in Zig Zags
Walked like Egyptians

Monsters at the gate.
Should I allow them access?
They enjoy my flute.

Hoisted her hiney.
Tiny shiny vaginy.
Tastes rather briny.

They oft eat sea food,
retaining much mercury,
dulling their IQ.

Hannibal Lecter's
in the mood for a rude dude
to become fine food.

Promiscuity.
Puerile penile projectile. ~o ~o
Prematurity.

It's customary
Vomit in your dinner plate
When finished dining

Empty Rice Bowl Mind
Clear night for remote viewing
You'll get a stiff neck

I have a bunch of small cuts
All over my hands and I'm worried
I'll get staph or MRSA

The server at the Chinese food place
Is extremely flamboyant
Therefore I distrust him immensely

Why aren't plastic goods
Made to be compostable?
It's like pollution is intentional

When Hollywood goes full retard
They will begin to make remakes
Of their previous remakes

Have you ever asked someone
How their day is going and then
Accidentally ask them again?

This site is strange
I don't know what a haiku is
Or how I got here

I enjoy other cultures
They have a variety of different foods
Which I like to eat

Bubble up just lke...
Oh, you know where I'm going.
More toilet humor.

I know... sometimes life is too much.
I try to clean up litter in a 3rd world shithole and people look at me like I'm a lunatic. Almost wishing I'd stayed in the US. Might return some day... or maybe Europe or Australia. Tired of being around those who don't know and don't care and just point the way to the next 10 cent synthetic meal and glue huffers and too many hand held out to you, thinking you'll save them, not knowing they can do that themselves if only they would try.

Now you've got me started. Ah, life.

DF Poor Eyesight
Brown Bubbles in Bathysphere
Smelly Aero Bar

i enjoyed writing
those "unhinged" poems, but it
was more cathartic

sometimes i feel those
things have to bubble up else
they will blow on up

sometimes people just
bearing their honests feelings
and thoughts....scary...

Oops, sorry 'bout that.
I swear I thought that was soap.
Hard and slippery.

I hope you don't mind.
My farts make a Jacuzzi.
Pink stinky bubbles.

My Haiku brothers
Hop in my pink bathysphere
Ride around the sea

Hey, even Yoda bailed.
Death is for corpses.
"To cheat death is a power only one has achieved."

Anyway, back to real live. I have work to do... fucking chem lab report for some damn Arab student too lazy to do his own work. Fuck I hate lab reports.

We should waste time on Facebook?! Fuck that!

Figpucker is fake
He is not ready to DIE.
He is a lightweight.

I think what this world needs is an extremist moderate party. Is that possible... You know, like exile all hippies and KKK/nazis to go live in... I don't know. Say New Jersey. Set up streaming webcams all around that people can outside (the moderates) can pay to watch. Use the money raised to fund education.

You fucking losers
wasting time on this website
exactly like me

Okay, all joking and fuckery aside.
Starkitten is right. VHS, you do sound a bit stressed out.
Anything here is all for shits and giggles, however horrible it may sound.

The world is getting fucked up, yes. I think mostly overpopulation and undereducated masses taking over. Ignorance is the doorway to hatred, and things snowball out of control. Just try to stay out of the avalanche. Be safe, don't stress. Change maybe fast or slow, but it happens. It may be ugly, but don't fear what you cannot prevent. Accept what you cannot control.

Fuck... I sound more like Yoda than some fucking Dark Lord of the Sith. What the hell disease did that mosquito infect me with?!

Civil war coming
in fact, it's already here.
So eat my Haiku...

For the rest of you:
"yo mama so damn NASTY
she voted for TRUMP!"

A scary movie?
House of 1000 Corpses.
That thing is fucked up!

OK, VHS
I am on your side, I think
but you sound unhinged

Happiness is a
bloody swatted mosquito
that had just bit you.

Today will be good.
Tomorrow will be better.
ALL MOSQUITOES DIE!

Hey now, that's not nice.
Don't make fun of poets' moms.
I feel bad for them.

For the moms, I mean.
Imagine your kid being
a haiku poet.

Not a pretty thought.
Gives me the heebie jeebies.
Well, more than "The Nun".

Yo' momma so low-
class she laughs at yo' momma
jokes on this website.

Yo' momma so dumb
she thinks gross income is cash
put in her g-string.

Yo momma so loose
she thinks elbow grease is a
sexual lube.

Just sold a painting
You screaming in the mirror
One million dollars

Well in my spare time
Stare at myself in mirror
And just scream loudly

Let me wash your ass
I'll sell the dingleberries
At Farmer's Market

Benjamin Franklin
Warming his hairy denoinks
Near the Franklin Stove

Plymouth Belvedere
This car climbed Mt. Washington
Yaz, who loves ya Baby

Conjoined headless twin
Forcing me to wear white pants
After Labour Day